Miller 1 Professor Pruitt FYS 10101 15 October 2021 Connection, Experience, and Growth I believe that I am searching for a sense of connection. I feel the most myself when I am a part of a strong community, in which I feel comfortable, loved, and supported. I found this community at my small all-girls’ high school, where I met friends that I felt genuinely connected to and loved being around. I wasn’t too eager to leave this community behind; I was nervous and sad leaving friends and moving across the country to a much larger school, where I was now just one freshman out of 2,000. I feared the feeling of anonymity that accompanies going to college and becoming a part of a “bigger pond,” in which not everyone knows and supports you. Although I knew that college would be much different from high school, I felt confident in my decision to come to Notre Dame (and I still do). In fact, my desire for a sense of belonging and connection is what in part brought me to Notre Dame, as I knew from friends and family that this school breeds an indescribable bond that continues beyond graduation. I was so excited to join this community, even though I didn’t really know what the “Notre Dame Family” looked like in reality. After being here for half a semester, I have come to better know and more greatly appreciate the sense of community and school spirit that ND fosters, and I have worked towards creating my own connections in this big network of people. Miller 2 Since move-in in August, I have spent the most time worrying about making “college friends,” and from meeting so many new people, I have learned more about what friendship means. Finding friends—genuine friends—is difficult but incredibly rewarding. These types of friendships, as mentioned in the “5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship,” occur when “two people are mutually growing and on a path toward becoming better people” (“5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship” by Olivia T. Taylor – Moreau FYE Week Four). I believe that I have already found some people whom I know will help me to grow and have my best interest at heart, and I always want to make sure that I am cultivating these kinds of deeper, genuine connections, while watching out for people who use or mistreat me. I think that religion provides me with another opportunity for connection both to God and other people. Going from Catholic grammar school to high school and now college, faith has played a prominent role in my life. I value my faith for the way that it allows me to view the world; I related to the description used in the “Faith Brings Light to a Dark World” article, which described faith as “see[ing] God’s face peeking through every creature” (“Faith Brings Light to a Dark World” by Professor Fagerberg – Moreau FYE Week Three). I’ve tried to cultivate this skill of seeing God by looking around me—seeing him in myself, other people, and the natural world—and I think that this habit connects me with Him. I hope to continue to develop my faith at Notre Dame, and I know that the opportunities to strengthen my relationship with God here are endless, from dorm masses to campus ministry and service trips. These are activities I want to become involved in and have already started to explore; I became a Eucharistic minister in my dorm, and I’m looking forward to participating in masses and meeting other people also interested in getting involved in campus ministry here. Religion has been a fundamental component of the communities that I have been a part of during my life, and I intend to make https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ https://grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/belief/faith-brings-light-to-dark-world/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/belief/faith-brings-light-to-dark-world/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau Miller 3 faith an integral part of my college experience to more strongly connect with God and the new people that I meet. To form the connections that I search for, I need to be vulnerable. By being vulnerable, I can show my authentic self to other people and create intimate connections instead of surface- level friendships. I was really drawn to Dr. Brown’s explanation of the power of vulnerability during the first week of the Moreau First Year Experience; she explained that when we let ourselves be vulnerable, we can be deeply seen and find the connection that gives meaning and purpose to our lives. She says that vulnerability allows us to have “the courage to be imperfect… the compassion to be kind to [ourselves] first and then to others… and connection as a result of authenticity” (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week One). Brown’s emphasis on courage, compassion, and connection as the key to embracing our vulnerability connected to David Brooks’ perspective on resume and eulogy virtues (“Should you live for your résumé ... or your eulogy?” by David Brooks – Moreau FYE Week Two), which we discussed the following week. While resume virtues like grades and professional achievements can bring me temporary happiness, building eulogy virtues—kindness, courage, honesty, etc.—elicit a much deeper happiness and greater opportunity for loving relationships. Although it will be difficult to avoid the pressures of stacking up our society’s sought-after resume virtues, I strive to remain focused on cultivating eulogy virtues by being authentic to myself and working to genuinely connect with other people. I believe that I grow by remaining in touch with my past while reaching out for new experiences and learning from new people. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&list=PLmiPsabET-W_hjesjTZaITh2s1WbM-Kd0&index=3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM Miller 4 Growth is an ongoing process that requires looking at both the past experiences that have shaped me and the experiences currently changing me. I am sometimes too fond of looking back at the past; I like reminiscing about memories with friends and thinking about how my life was different just 1 or 2 years ago. I think that much can be learned by analyzing who we are now versus who we were in the past, as well as what people and experiences brought us to where we are now. I think my fondness for living in the past is what caused me to really enjoy writing the “Where I’m From” poem, brainstorming childhood memories that laid the foundations of my personality, values, and experiences (“Where I’m From” by – Moreau FYE Week Six). This assignment encouraged me to think about how my parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, and neighbors have influenced and continue to influence me. I recognize that who I am today is very much contingent on the example of these people, who have consistently taught me important lessons about the value of hard work, determination, and compassion through their own words and actions. In addition to looking back at past experiences to gain insight into myself, I have learned that each new experience provides me with a valuable lesson. Coming to college has certainly provided a host of new experiences: from learning to set and hold myself to a schedule, to staying on top of schoolwork and navigating new friendships, college has introduced challenges that I have both succeeded in and struggled with over the past six weeks. Although facing these challenges both inside and outside of school initially frustrates me, I believe that I have improved in looking at new experiences, especially those in which I feel that I could have handled a situation differently with a friend or managed my time better in school, as valuable learning opportunities. Carla Harris resounds this message—the usefulness of making mistakes—in her Laetare Medalist Address, stating that “failure brings us a gift… experience” (“Notre Dame https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjSwjn-SyB4 Miller 5 Commencement 2021: Laetare Medalist Address” by Carla Harris – Moreau FYE Week Five). By actively trying to learn from each new experience instead of chastising myself for small daily mistakes, I can learn to better respond to failure, trust myself, and move forward feeling positive and confident. I hope to always remember that although my experiences make me who I am, there is so much value to be gained from learning about the experiences of other people. I have always been a natural listener—I like hearing what other people have to say much more than I like talking about myself. Over these past few weeks, I have met many people, learned a ton of names, and heard a lot of stories about other people’s hometowns, high schools, and families. I love getting to know people and having these kinds of conversations; each conversation enables me to learn more about that person and their perspective on the world, and I have learned that there is never one side or one story to a person. This message is made clear by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie in her TedTalk, in which she describes the detriment of holding onto a single story about a particular culture or group of people (“Damage of a Single Story” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie – Moreau FYE Week Seven). I want to get to know more than one side of the people I meet in my life. I know that learning who a person really is takes time but is thus incredibly fulfilling. I plan to fill my life with new experiences and friendships in order to grow in an understanding of both myself and the people that I meet. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjSwjn-SyB4 https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story