Integration 2 




Fighting Family Expectations and Increasing Importance of Community

People's perspectives, opinions, and values all change throughout the course of their life.

This is especially true during one's teenage years as we begin to discover who we are and as our

individual personalities begin to take shape. New experiences, such as beginning college and

living away from home, are often pivotal moments in our lives and are times of great personal

development. For me during this first semester, I have encountered challenging my family's

beliefs about what I should major in, as well as seen an increase in the importance of community.

During the summer while creating my class schedule I knew I had wanted to take a math

class, even though it was not required for my major, just because I enjoyed my math classes in

high school. Towards the middle of the semester, my math class became one of the classes I had

enjoyed the most in my schedule, and I saw my love for math grow through it. This sparked the

idea of possibly switching my major from pre-professional studies to mathematics or Applied

and Computational Mathematics and Statistics (ACMS). However, when I told my family about

this idea, they were very against it and asked what I would even be able to do with a degree in

math. At first I thought, they’re probably right, I should stick to my pre-professional major.

However, even though I do also have a love of science, the idea of completely abandoning math

still did not sit right with me.

As class registration for the spring semester was coming up, I needed to decide if I was

going to continue my path with math and add a math class to my schedule or abandon it and take

a different class instead. While deliberating this, I realized that the only reason I would want to



abandon math is because of my family’s opinions. This reminded me of the Grotto article about

expectations which said “you can’t live your life according to the expectations of others. When

you do, you aren’t living your own life — you’re living someone else’s life” (“Why Letting Go

of Expectations is a Freeing Habit” by Julia Hogan - Moreau FYE Week Nine). That is when I

asked myself  “What do I want to do? What will make me happy?” I stopped thinking about my

family’s opinions and started thinking about what I want to do with my life and how I wanted to

balance my love of both math and science. Ultimately, I decided to keep my main major as

pre-professional but also work towards a supplementary major in math or ACMS. Although this

isn’t completely challenging my family’s wishes of me getting a degree in science, it was one of

the first times I began to think about what I wanted to do without relying on their opinions. I feel

like this will be an important thing for me to do in the future. I want to live life for myself rather

than trying to make others happy and not enjoying what I do in life, even if that means making

decisions others may not completely support.

Another thing that I have encountered is an increase in the importance of community.

Although community was somewhat important to me at home, the community at Notre Dame is

more tight knit and I feel like a more integral part of it. Whether it be the community in the

dorms, the classroom, or the campus as a whole, you can always feel the sense of community

around you, and it even extends across the United States and internationally. Through my efforts

to be more involved in my community by engaging more with the people around me and the

discussions in my classes, I began to learn more about different perspectives, especially on social

issues and how they impacted the people around me. A big issue that is often brought to light is

race. One idea mentioned in the 2020 Snapshot video is the fact that when talking about race,

society often tries to fit all races on a spectrum between black and white, when in reality they



cannot all be grouped together so nicely (“With Voices True Snapshot Summary” by Klau Center

Archive on Race - Moreau FYE Week Eleven). This idea reminded me of a discussion in my

university seminar. We were discussing the history of different latin american groups, and even

within the hispanic community, the backstories and experiences people had varied significantly.

Sadly, most of the time society tries to force people into broad categories which often do not

encompass the full diversity of the people they represent. I did not realize how prevalent of an

issue colorism was, even within one's own ethnicity, until some of the discussions I had in my

university seminar. The growth in my awareness about different issues such as racism and

colorism have encouraged me to continue to get more involved in my community. My next goal

is to become more involved not just with my peers and in my classes, but with staff and

professors as well.

Racial injustice is another issue that often comes up when discussing race. In recent

years, there has been an increase in attention and media coverage of issues such as police

brutality and systemic racism. Issues such as these and other dividing issues are mentioned by

Father Jenkins in his commencement speech. He states “a country whose citizens treat one

another with scorn does not have a bright future” (“Wesley Theological Seminary 2012

Commencement Address” by Father John Jenkins, C.S.C. - Moreau FYE Week Ten). Having

racial diversity creates the opportunity to see and hear many different perspectives, but also

inevitably leads to clashing perspectives. However, it is important to be able to discuss these

differing viewpoints in a safe and respectful way rather than a scornful way. This is one thing I

have encountered that I believe makes Notre Dame such a strong community. There are many

different backgrounds that the students and faculty come from, and many different perspectives

to hear and learn from. Furthermore, the discussions in class are conducted in a respectful



manner in which everyone is free to voice their opinions. Although this is true most of the time,

there are still some instances where this is untrue, and there may be some scornful comments

about race or actions towards someone of a certain race made. I believe as a community we must

work toward eliminating these instances as much as possible in order to create a community

where everyone can thrive, and as a member of the community I try to do my part in this to the

best of my ability.

Finally, the increased sense of community at Notre Dame has taught me that I can learn

from anyone. Learning does not only have to come from professors or staff members, but it can

be from everyone around you. As Father King puts it in his explanation of a Holy Cross

education, we “are better disciples when humble enough to admit that we have a lot to learn from

students and co-workers of all ages” (“Holy Cross and Christian Educations” by Father James B.

King, C.S.C. - Moreau FYE Week Twelve). For me, this quote reminded me to be open to

learning from those who are younger than me, more specifically, from the kids I volunteer with. I

spend a couple of hours a week at La Casa de Amistad helping kids with their homework, and

although I am there to help them learn, I also have a lot to learn from them. Volunteering with the

kids has taught me that not every strategy works for everyone, and sometimes you just need to

find your own way of thinking about things that makes sense to you. It has also taught me that

sometimes you cannot handle certain situations by yourself and that it is ok to ask for help from

someone. These lessons and the importance of being open to learning from anyone around you

are things that I hope to carry with me into future experiences, whether this be continuing

volunteering or in my professional life.