Capstone Integration Abigail Moore Moreau FYE Erik Oswald April 20, 2022 Critical, Questioning, Wonderful I want to be a whole person. By which I mean I am seeking to cultivate myself towards balanced excellence. However vague that may seem, I think my path must involve a continual education of mind, body, and soul. In order to commit to such an education, I will need to maintain a demeanor which critically assesses myself and circumstances, seeks out questions and challenges, and perseveres in wonder. Critical analysis is key to understanding the world and my place in it and precipitates informed action: “It’s only by stepping farther back and standing still that we can begin to see” (“Why we need to slow down our lives” by Pico Lyer - Week 1). As the Center for Career Development advises, determining a life path off of that sight is “a developmental process that will recur throughout your lifetime” (“Navigating Your Career Journey” by Meruelo Family Center for Career Development - Week 4). Adapting to and driving forward this developmental process requires a desire for conflict, challenge, and uncomfortable inquiry. A willingness to question and change also feeds into maintaining a state of wonder. Joy in the path that follows is a result of a consistent admiration for the inexplicable, the beautiful, the true. Keeping this joy or wonder is often difficult when matched with the highly critical attitude also described above, which is why balance is so important. If I let analytical criticism devolve into cynicism then I lose the crucial wonderment. The warning of a close friend reflects that danger: “If you keep thinking of yourself a certain way, you’ll probably stay that certain way” (Conversation with Lily, February 6, 2022, - Week 5). When that thinking is negative, it can lock me in a personhood that is neither true to myself, balanced, or holistic. Critical introspection can become a vice when we “spend endless amounts of time in self-reflection but emerge with no more self-insight than when we started” (“The Right Way to be Introspective” by Tasha Eurich - Week 6). If you allow it to stop growth, stop your path of deepening inquiry, then you become complacent. Sister Theresa Aletheia Noble combats potential complacency or potentially negative feedback loops of self-perception with the phrase memento mori because “‘remembering death keeps us awake, focused, and ready for whatever might happen — both the excruciatingly difficult and the breathtakingly beautiful’” (Sister Theresa Aletheia Noble in “Meet the Nun Who Wants You to Remember You Will Die” - Week 3). I must refuse to be derailed by negative criticism while continuing to promote a critical attitude that spurs growth and development. An awake, focused, and ready self results from a commitment to change and cultivation in the face of inevitable death or even inevitable inadequacies and failures. On the other side of death is a complementary outlook on life that also helps to balance criticism and wonder. Pope Francis states that “life, even in the middle of so many contradictions, is a gift” (“Why the only future worth building includes everyone” by Pope Francis - Week 7). Being conscious of the limited time we have and recognizing that time as a gift both contribute to a state of wonder at the world around us and keeps the critical vision from becoming cynical. Rather than bogging me down in a “certain way,” wonder, inquiry, and critical thinking can be used together to sponsor action and development. Although I came into college with the decided major of architecture and a fairly clear route to a career, I have been wrestling with what it means to compliment or enrich this straight-shooting path with all the opportunities available at Notre Dame. Ideally, choosing a minor or concentration would further my goal of a whole self. However, determining what that means and what path towards achieving that is sustainable has been much harder than I imagined. Steve Reifenberg offers that “maybe sustainability is, in part, to do whatever it takes … and walking together, working together, discovering the path, a path that will be sustained over time” (“Teaching Accompaniment: A Learning Journey Together” by Steve Reifenberg - Week 9). Keeping that open and adaptable mindset with respect to my ultimate goals of a balanced education led me to go back and forth between minors. At first out of practicality, I applied to the real estate minor and was accepted, but couldn’t shake the feeling that I was just seeking out another skill, much like architecture. Would acquiring helpful financial tools to promote my future career or monetary success necessarily craft the person I want to be? I kept searching. Strangely enough I discovered what is called the “Philosophy, Religion, and Literature (PRL)” minor in my digging, and it struck me in a way the real estate minor had not. The PRL minor would balance my design and math heavy curriculum and keep me asking questions in a breadth of fields. Although it seems odd that I had to get the real estate minor to recognize that it ultimately wasn’t going to foster the education or self I desire, this is an essential part of developing a path and refining what it looks like to live out my goals. I expect that I will understand this process to a greater degree as I proceed through my years at Notre Dame. Just in this first year with what I’ve met in my classes, I have only realized all the more that “we all ought to be protesting against many of the things we see in modern life” and that an education at a Catholic university necessarily involves defining these ‘oughts’ (Hesburgh - Week 2). I hope that by cultivating a holistic self I will be better equipped to meet these responsibilities even when, or especially when, such a perspective goes against cultural norms. “Eitan Hersh makes the case that many Americans engage in politics in the same way that sports fans engage with their teams, as a form of entertainment and self-expression,” but I think Notre Dame asks a deeper, more purposeful engagement in changing the world for the better (“Passion Isn’t Enough” by Hidden Brain Media - Week 11 ). Although I’ve never before considered myself a political person—it’s never been one of my “hobbies” as Hersh would say—my first year at Notre Dame has challenged me to ask what I can do to impact my community and even my nation. Before I never would have thought anything I did really affected either. Classes like my Social Science USEM and Intro to Ethics and Politics have raised important issues about race, climate, inclusion, and human dignity that likely will inform how I act here at Notre Dame and beyond. Thankfully I am not facing these issues and calls to action alone but at a school that professes to “prize the uniqueness of all persons,” a model I hope to follow (“The Spirit of Inclusion at Notre Dame” by the University of Notre Dame - Week 10). By the end of my time at Notre Dame I want to have cultivated “those disciplined habits of mind, body, and spirit that characterize educated, skilled, and free human beings” (“Mission Statement” by University of Notre Dame - Week 13). I believe this will come to be if I seek balance in my education so that as a well-rounded individual I can know, address, and act on issues that are important to our community and my future communities. By complementing my architecture degree with deep-thinking courses in philosophy, literature, and religion, I have already begun to foster a more holistic self. If I continue to cultivate my mind, body, and soul through critical analysis, curious inquiry, and wondering eyes, perhaps I will eventually “have the competence to see and the courage to act” as Notre Dame challenges me to be a force for good (“Mission 2” from the Congregation of the Holy Cross - Week 12).