Integration One Selm 1 Josephine Selm Alison Thigpen FYS 10101 15 October 2021 Growth in a Time of New Beginnings Over the course of the past two months, I have been introduced to a vast number of new people and traditions relative to Notre Dame. From meeting people of different backgrounds and circumstances, to being immersed in my studies, my time here so far has been marked as an intense period of self-refinement and discovery. Not only have I been forced to look at myself and my actions, I have also been made to look at my relationships with others and the effects that these can have. As a result, my core beliefs have been strengthened and better defined over these past few months, and I am therefore more sure of my principles and what is truly important to me, especially as I approach the rest of my education and establish my career and educational goals for the future. Coming to Notre Dame marked a large change in my life, signifying a transition from childhood and dependence to adulthood and independence. A key thing I noticed upon this transition was the amount of anxiety that accompanied this. Although I was excited to begin this new chapter of my life, it was all so new and further away from home than I expected, and I found myself closing off rather than opening up to new people and experiences, especially within the first couple of weeks. This led myself to evaluate my actions, establishing a key belief in the process, in which vulnerability is an important part of new beginnings. Vulnerability makes us uncomfortable and forces us to deter our experior image, thus allowing connections to form. Because of this uncomfortability, vulnerability is often remembered, as stated by Brené Brown, Selm 2 “When you ask people about love, they’ll tell you about heartbreak. When you ask them about belonging, they’ll tell you about their most excruciating experiences of being excluded. And when you ask people about connection, the stories they told me were about disconnection” (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week One). If I had learned to show my vulnerability to others during the first few weeks of class, I might’ve experienced a far different Notre Dame than the one that I did initially, highlighting the importance that vulnerability plays in approaching unfamiliar situations. I ultimately learned that after opening up, my anxieties of how others would perceive me decreased greatly, and I was better able to enjoy my time here. Following along those lines, my first few weeks at Notre Dame helped to build upon my belief that I grow by experiencing new things and subjecting myself to new situations. For instance, I took the VIA Character Strengths Test in Moreau, which I had already taken a total of two other times, both through classes I had taken during high school. Every time I have taken this test, I received different results, signifying that my persona has changed over time, which can largely be associated with the effects of new experiences and viewpoints. One thing that I found struggling with in this process was the issue of letting go of my fears surrounding my future here. All throughout high school, I found myself placing an emphasis on school work, holding academic success over my own well being. Approaching college, I didn’t want this to be the same case, as while I want to succeed academically, I also want to enjoy college and beneficially help others in the process. This tension between values was represented by David Brooks, in which he stated, “We live in perpetual self-confrontation between the external success and the internal value” (“Should you live for your résumé ... or your eulogy?” by David Brooks - Moreau FYE Week Two). I was in the same situation, struggling between external success and internal value -- questioning how to redefine my own standards of success in the light of facing a Selm 3 new environment. By having the opportunity to experience new things at Notre Dame, I have found a change from my past ideals and how I approach different situations, demonstrating that I have grown through these new experiences, and will continue to do so. Coming from a Catholic faith background, I never considered the fact that I might falter in my faith during college. Despite this, I struggled to make it to mass the first several weeks of classes, as I was still learning to balance my workload and alter my time-management skills to be adjusted to my classes. I found myself to be constantly stressed out concerning even the most trivial assignments. It wasn’t until I was able to make it to mass that my own self-concern was highlighted, leading me to the belief that faith helps to ground me in reality. As put by David Fagerberg, “Spiritual life alters the cockeyed lighting that makes us the center of the universe” (“Faith Brings Light to a Dark Word” by David Fagerberg - Moreau FYE Week Three). By stressing over my own issues, I completely missed those around me who were also struggling -- and it took me attending mass on my own accord to realize this. Additionally, I found participating in mass to represent a constructive break from typical work and something to look forward to. By allowing this small viewpoint into my faith life, I was able to also view my current situation as a whole and highlight key things that were affecting my well-being in the process. Looking back over my faith life in the past two months, I can highlight many areas that I can work on, setting standards for what areas I want to focus on in the future in order to help turn my viewpoint away from my own issues and towards those of others. As I was coming here with no knowledge of anyone else coming to Notre Dame as well, I started out with a lot of fears concerning forming relationships. Over time, however, I have come to develop the belief that I can forge life-giving relationships by being open and by observing my own interactions with others. One topic discussed in class was the notion of building healthy Selm 4 relationships, in which “A good, healthy friendship is one where two people are mutually growing and on a path toward becoming better people, but every so often, we find ourselves making an effort with a person we probably shouldn’t” (“5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship” by Olivia Taylor - Moreau FYE Week Four). Much of this topic forced me to reevaluate my past friendships as well as my own actions with the mindset of determining the toxicity of these relationships and actions. Not only did I want to see how healthy my past relationships were and if I should try to emulate them or avoid them here, but also I wanted to see if my actions themselves fostered a community of mutual betterment, and to develop ways to do this if they did not. Additionally, I was forced to look at my own current actions and how those might be affecting my ability to form life-giving relationships. All of these have helped to strengthen my current friendships, both here at Notre Dame and with those from my hometown. A point expressed through the values of Notre Dame is cultivating people who want to aid others through their own actions, as stated by Fr. Kevin Grove C.S.C, “[E]very discipline that searches for truth shares in that final and most beautiful truth that calls us to serve each other in love” (“Two Notre Dames: You’re Holy Cross Education” by Fr. Kevin Grove - Moreau FYE Week 5). Not only does the university want to help its students grow in knowledge, it also wants them to enact change in the lives of others outside the campus community in the process, leading me to the belief that I am searching for ways to better the lives of others through my education here. Although I am just starting my educational journey here, I have already been presented with a number of opportunities to complete this step. From clubs focused on community service to GreeNDot training, a plethora of opportunities exist. It’s just a matter of selecting which areas I am most needed in where I can actively work for the betterment of others. Looking towards the future, I home to become more involved in American Medical Women’s Association, which Selm 5 volunteers at St. Margaret’s and a Rosie Place, as well as joining a number of other clubs and organizations that focus on community service within their membership. Despite the new environment that Notre Dame establishes, we all carry things from our past with us. I believe that my community has shaped me into the person that I am, helping to distinguish myself from others. It has been shocking, coming from an area of rural Indiana, to compare my hometown with those of my friends, and little cultural differences have been presented. A key one that I have noticed has been linguistic differences. For instance, my friends were surprised to learn that I say “pop” and “story problems” rather than “soda” and “word problems.” Additionally, everyone is surprised to learn that my family owns a farm and cows, which is such a stark contrast from their suburbs and cities. A lot of these differences were alarming, because they highlighted something that I did differently; however, I had to overcome this fear that my actions were subpar in some way, but rather just an extension of my past presenting itself in my present. As George Ella Lyon stated, “... you are the expert on you. No one else sees the world as you do; no one else has your material to draw on. You don't have to know where to begin. Just start.” (“Where I’m From” by George Ella Lyon - Moreau FYE Week 6). My differences in viewpoints and actions define who I am, and set me apart from others, but they also work to establish difference, which is important for diversity and becoming knowledgeable about different lifestyles and cultures, and therefore are vital in establishing community and relationships here. Building off this notion is that of stereotypes. We all can admit to developing stereotypes and assuming their validity, despite lacking knowledge of the truthfulness of them. Although these stereotypes can happen naturally as a result of observed patterns, they do not effectively display a group as a whole, and can therefore marginalize those who do not fit into these Selm 6 stereotypes. Therefore, I have come to the belief that I can pursue truth by searching for accurate stories for every individual, which requires interacting with people of different backgrounds and becoming knowledgeable about cultures different from your own. In doing so, I neglect stereotypes that I might have built up as a result of implicit biases and learn to see others from a holistic point of view. As discussed in relation to these stereotypes, or single stories, “[W]hen we reject the single story, when we realize that there was never a single story about any place, we regain a kind of paradise” (“The Danger of a Single Story” by Chimamanda Adichie - Moreau FYE Week 7). I hope to be able to utilize my time at Notre Dame to continue to learn about different cultures, which I can then utilize to remove harmful stereotypes from my current mindset, thus creating a setting of inclusion for all. The past two months have been chalked full of new experiences, new people, and new beginnings, and not only have I been able to grow individually, but I also have taken greater interest in how my actions can affect others positively. I have grown in and strengthened my core beliefs as a result of this new start in my life, and hope to continue to employ these beliefs throughout my future educational endeavours, with the intent of aiding others along the way. These new experiences coupled with my own upbringing are helping to shape me into a better-rounded individual, as well as helping to define my goals for the future in the process, and this is only the beginning of this period of self-discovery that will continue as I grow and better myself with each new experience I encounter. Selm 7 Works Cited Fagerberg, David. “Faith Brings Light to a Dark World.” Grotto Network, 29 Jan. 2020, grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/belief/faith-brings-light-to-dark-world/?utm_source=fa ll_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau. Grove, Fr. Kevin. “Two Notre Dames: You're Holy Cross Education.” University of Notre Dame, https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=859bc1a8-0d0f-4e b4-a1c1-d0a45c429187. Lyon, George Ella. “Where I'm From.” Where I'm from, a Poem by George Ella Lyon, Writer and Teacher, http://www.georgeellalyon.com/where.html. Taylor, Olivia T. “5 Signs You're in a Toxic Friendship.” Grotto Network, 29 Jan. 2020, grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/. TEDtalks. “The Danger of a Single Story”. Chimamanda Adichie. Youtube, July 2009. TEDtalksDirector. “Should you live for your resume … or your eulogy?” David Brooks. YouTube, YouTube, 14 Apr. 2014, www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM&t=296s. TEDx Talks. “The Power of Vulnerability.” Brené Brown. YouTube, 6 Oct. 2010, youtu.be/X4Qm9cGRub0. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM&t=296s