Integration Two December 3, 2021 Creating a New Balance in a New Life Throughout my childhood life, I was focused on mainly two things: Getting As, and excelling in sports. Even in elementary school, you would certainly find me either learning words and reading, or outside playing sports. This trend continued all throughout high school. Sports and school. My heightened focus and desire on these two things came from my parents. Not that they ordered me to only focus on these things, but that their experiences made me feel like I had to. With both of them being college athletes attending top universities, I thought that I would be a failure if I didn’t live up to those standards. My dad played wide receiver at Brown University, and for my entire life that was all I wanted to do. I had partially reached one of the goals when the coach offered me a preferred walk-on spot, as long as I got into Brown academically. It wasn’t until I got that rejection letter from Brown that I realized “[I] can’t live [my] life according to the expectations of others. When [I] do, [I’m not] living [my] own life — [I’m] living someone else’s life.” My disappointment was immense. It felt like everything I had worked for was destroyed. I couldn’t attend Brown and I couldn’t play football. That was my one shot. Fortunately, my dad encouraged me and told me that Brown wasn’t all that great anyway, and that I should carve my own path and reach my own new experiences that no one in our family had before. Of course, I ended up deciding on Notre Dame, and the environment and experiences that I’ve already had here could never be achieved at a school like Brown. The political world today is a huge mess. Colleges like Notre Dame, where people from all over the world with vastly different perspectives and life encounters come together are a hotspot for political discussion and controversy. Sadly, when it comes to American politics, there is an abundance of dissent and animosity towards the other side. Unfortunately, in many of these disputes, “most everyone would prefer there were less hatred in the world, yet there seems to be December 3, 2021 more — which is indirect proof that no one apparently wants to give up any of their own.” Meaning that people are stubborn, and defiant to look at an issue through a different lens. In my short time at Notre Dame, I have encountered this hatred and stubbornness, leading to disagreements that put the entire campus at odds. Catholic ideals, the LQBTQ community, law enforcement bias, race relations, the argument of the legality abortion, and many more continue to cause disagreements and anger between students. Earlier in the semester, an article regarding Notre Dame’s encouragement of the LGBTQ community published on the Irish Rover was a large cause for controversy. However, I think many Notre Dame students handled the situation very well. Using social platforms, students expressed their support for both the Catholic Church and the queer community in a calm way, sure not to spread hatred towards anyone on our campus. From that situation, I’ve learned better how to handle controversy and address those who attack my beliefs adequately: with understanding, respect, and love. At Notre Dame, I hope to make lifelong friendships and lasting, healthy relationships. I know that many of my siblings and friends at other universities find it difficult to reach an adequate balance between fighting for a top spot in the class and creating beneficial friendships with those in and out of that class. I’ve even read about some people choosing to study on their own in an effort to do better than others and not help others reach the same level of success, because that may be at the expense of their class standing. Notre Dame never has this conundrum. Friends in classes study together, everyone strives to be the best student they can be, and there is no animosity between students achieving greater than one another. While I was in high school, I was an independent worker; not because I wanted to achieve greater success than others, but because school came easier to me and I figured I could get the work done faster when speeding through it on my own. The rigorous academics and emphasis on building relationships December 3, 2021 during my first semester at Notre Dame has taught me that “I need other people for comfort, encouragement, and support, and for criticism, challenge, and collaboration. The self-sufficiency I feel in success is a mirage.” At the beginning of the semester, I continued with my old study habits and my independent work style. Let’s just say, it didn’t take long for me to realize that was not going to work in this new environment. Using the available resources of my tight Carroll community, I was able to easily find those who did not have the same struggles as me in my classes, and I leaned on them for support and aid when I really needed it on certain assignments. I learned how not to be ashamed of my struggles, and not to be shamed when I needed someone for help. This has helped me already build beneficial relationships that will continue throughout my time at Notre Dame. I will never forget writing my Notre Dame essay about transforming my heart and my mind. From the very beginning, Notre Dame emphasized that “whenever we have to shed old ways of thinking, viewing, or perceiving the world around us and ourselves, a conversion of both heart and mind must take place.” I can truly say that even over the course of one semester, my heart and mind have developed more than ever before. How I view my study habits, relationships, aspirations, political ideals, and countless others have been altered significantly in just about four months. My mind has changed: learning how to set goals with my own self in mind rather than others, and how to be satisfied with my best, even if it isn’t an A. My heart has changed: learning how to be more compassionate with those who disagree with me, and how to build meaningful relationships where each member of the bond grows together. If I can recognize all of this growth that was able to occur over one short semester, I can’t wait to see how Notre Dame will develop my heart and mind over the next three and a half years. December 3, 2021 Works Cited “Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit” by Julia Hogan - Moreau FYE Week Nine “Wesley Theological Seminary Commencement” by Fr. John I. Jenkins - Moreau FYE Week Ten “Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker J. Palmer - Moreau FYE Week Eleven “Hope and a Holy Cross Education” by Fr. James B. King - Moreau FYE Week Twelve https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://president.nd.edu/homilies-writings-addresses/wesley-theological-seminary-commencement/ http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/ https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23747/files/187485?module_item_id=104285