Integration 2 Professor Nguyen Moreau 28 November, 2021 My Development at Notre Dame and Personal Growth in the Future I think that having to think about being myself was once something that was foreign and ambiguous to me, but once I got to college I realized that I had to focus on being myself and not fall into the norms of college life. The first few weeks were especially hard, as I found myself falling into what everyone else was doing. I was trying too hard to fit in and was being someone who I wasn’t, so even though I was making friends, I felt especially lonely because I felt out of place. In Moreau Week 9, the “Advice from a Lonely College Student” article really resounded with me, as it made me realize that I should just focus on being myself and doing the things that I liked to do and I would find people that like me for who I am. In the article, Emery Bergmann says, “Understand that your loneliness is not failure, and that you are far from being alone in this feeling. Open your mind and take experiences as they come. You’re going to find your people” ("Advice from a Formerly Lonely College Student" by Emery Bergmann - Moreau FYE Week 9). Through this article, I realized that I had to try new things and could not expect to find my best friends right away. Everyone is telling you that you’re going to make all of your best friends the first week of college or find your future wife in the first week, but in reality, that isn’t true for everyone and they won’t find their best friends in the first week or even the first month of college. I also realized that you have to just be yourself and put yourself out there, doing things that you enjoy and you will find your people. After the first few weeks, I felt kind of out of place in some of my classes and also sometimes in my dorm, but as I settled in and kept being myself I https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/09/well/family/advice-from-a-formerly-lonely-college-student.html formed some good relationships and realized that I had some great friends right in front of me. From now on, I will continue to be myself and not get caught up in what everyone else is doing so that I can focus on myself and finding my people. I discovered that race and hate are not as black and white as they appeared to me at first, and are much more nuanced and complicated than I initially thought. Growing up in a predominantly white, Catholic, middle-class community in my grade school and high school, I didn’t really have to think about problems of race and inequality much. I did encounter hate but did not think about it deeply enough to realize how much of a problem it is and how hurtful it can be to people. In Week 10, we read Father Jenkins’ Commencement Address in which he talks about the importance of love in times of hate and division like we have in our country right now. More specifically he states, “A country whose citizens treat one another with scorn does not have a bright future” ("Wesley Theological Seminary 2012 Commencement Address" by Fr. John Jenkins, C. - Moreau FYE Week 10). This quote resounded with me, as I feel like in today’s country and even in some groups around campus, a lot of people treat each other poorly and some use other people for their own gain or happiness. This is a huge problem; a sort of pandemic that is overtaking our country. Through Father Jenkins’ address, I realized that hate and scorn are very prevalent and deeply woven into our society. I saw this especially on campus, where students use each other for their own gains, whether that be for sex, homework, or for happiness in general. In the future, instead of pointing out others’ weaknesses and bad attributes, I will accept them and build them up, just like they were doing in the Kintsugi workshop. I will approach everyone with love like Father Jenkins says, and try to diminish the hatred that is overtaking the world. https://president.nd.edu/writings-addresses/2012-addresses/wesley-theological-seminary-commencement/ Race is related to my deepened understanding of hate and scorn because I have seen in my time in college that race affects most people, even those that I would not have thought would be affected. In Week 11, we explored the importance of connecting with others to form community, even when there are differences or conflicts. This was especially seen in Professor Fuentes’ talk about race when he says, “Race and inequality matter- but they are not fixed” ("Diversity Matters!" by Prof. Agustin Fuentes - Moreau FYE Week 11). Although this is a short quote, I think that it is extremely illuminating of these two issues and is important to think about. This quote shows that we can change our perceptions about race and inequality, as they are social constructs and don’t hold any meaning unless people give it meaning. Before coming to college, I did not think much about race and how it affects community as well as how it affects those who are of different races. However, once watching this talk and listening to others discuss it in class, I realized that race is a huge issue and can prevent community from forming. Some of my classmates said that they felt out of place because of their race, as Notre Dame is predominantly white and therefore has a lot of white culture and customs. It is hard for those who are not white to fit in without losing their own culture and customs. Because of this, from now on I will be inclusive of all people and customs and will try to make Notre Dame a more inclusive and welcoming place for those of other races and cultures in order to form a stronger community. Going back to the quote above, I will also change my perceptions and preconceived notions about race in order to be more inclusive and open to other people. The loneliest times and the times where I am feeling the most down have increased in importance in my time at the University of Notre Dame. In the past, when I was really lonely or down, I always had my twin brother or my parents to raise my spirits and get me feeling better. Now, it is much different, as all I have are my friends to get me feeling better and sometimes I do https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=d14a0472-9c0e-44ea-bd39-53c67ee1d436 not even have my friends, so I have to resolve my loneliness myself. In Week 12, we read The Screwtape Letters, in which Screwtape says, “[God] relies on the troughs even more than on the peaks” ("A Brief Introduction to The Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis - Moreau FYE Week 12). I think that the Screwtape Letters draws attention to the fact that the troughs are the biggest growing points and opportunities for us. It is in the failures that we are able to learn how to better ourselves. Furthermore, it is in these troughs that we can make that choice whether to choose God or choose evil. We can either make the more difficult decision to turn to God in our strife and struggles, or we can allow the devil to enter us and turn away from God and blame Him for our issues. In my time at Notre Dame, I have tried to get closer to God and grow in my faith life, and it is in these troughs that I have found I experience the most growth. It is in the times of deepest loneliness and depression that I have found God and grown in strength through him in my journey out of these deep holes of sadness. In the future, I will continue to look at these bad times as growing points for myself and my relationship with God. https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/25086/files/192658?wrap=1