Microsoft Word - Moreau integration #3 word doc.docx Cox 1 Professor Pruitt Moreau First Year Experience 4 March 2022 Treating Others and Yourself Well is to Live Well If I died tomorrow, would I look back and consider my life well-lived? It is hard to say because I know I have so much more ahead of me. There are many people to love and places to visit and foods to try and experiences to have that I haven’t gotten to yet. That is so exciting. But it is also scary because I don’t know how that all will play out. And when I do finally reach the end of my life, will I consider it well lived? I hope so. The second semester in college seems less tumultuous than the first, giving one the space and time necessary to reflect and decide upon what is bringing your life more or less meaning and to some extent, define what the meaning of your life should be, at least in the moment. I used to think the best way to live a good, satisfactory life was to be happy all the time. It is so easy to fall into the mindset that if you’re never sad or stressed or upset that somehow your life will become more fulfilling. Yet this simply isn’t true. In week 6 of Moreau we watched a video in which a man named Dr. Jihoon Kim tells his story of how the accident that paralyzed his entire body has changed his perspective on suffering. He says, “The purpose of my life is not simply about overcoming suffering. Suffering is part of our lives. It is always there, but it is about how to respond to suffering” (“5 Minutes” by Aria Swarr - Moreau FYE Week Six). There have been many times in college where I have felt overwhelmed or very upset. People say college is supposed to be the best years of your life and when it doesn’t feel like that it can make you feel confused or resentful. I feel like I never get enough sleep and when I do go to sleep I hit Cox 2 my head on the ceiling every night because I live like a sardine in a shoebox. I find it so difficult to eat three good, hearty meals in the day and when I do it takes three hours total because of the chaos of the dining hall. I always have too much work and once one assignment gets done another comes along. One of the ways I combat these negative aspects of college is by trying to have perspective and gratitude, as Dr. Kim does. Stress and anxiety and sadness are normal. They will continue to reappear in my life even if I can overcome them right now. Therefore, I think to myself, how grateful am I that I get to be at this school and receive this education. Despite the stress it brings me, it will also bring me knowledge and discipline. How grateful am I that I get to live in a dorm community of all women where I have met my best friends, even if its crammed, we’re all in it together. By doing this, I face my negative emotions head on and progress emotional towards living a better life. Sister Aletheia would likely agree with Dr. Kim’s sentiments. In week three of Moreau we read an article about Sister Aletheia – a nun who has turned the concepts of death and suffering into a religious practice called “moments memori.” In describing her practice she says, “Suffering and death are facts of life; focusing only on the ‘bright and shiny’ is superficial and inauthentic. We try to suppress the thought of death, or escape it, or run away from it because we think that’s where we’ll find happiness . . . But it’s actually in facing the darkest realities of life that we find light in them” (“Meet the nun who wants you to remember that you will die” by Ruth Graham - Moreau FYE Week Three). By encouraging people to think about their death she reminds them to appreciate the present. One of the primary lessons college has reinforced for me is the fleeting nature of time. There is never enough. I go to pickup coffee and suddenly an hour has passed. I go to study and suddenly it is already 2 am. I walk into my friend’s room for a conversation and only emerge three hours later, accidentally of course. Especially at a place like Cox 3 Notre Dame, there are infinite opportunities and events to attend. There just never seems to be enough time for all work and rest and social interactions I need. This becomes really overwhelming at times. This year, one of my New Year’s Resolutions was to try to be more present. Although I still struggle with this everyday, I find it truly does make my life more fulfilling when I practice this often, which I hope will lead to an overall life-well lived in the future. In thinking about the future, I often think about what path I will begin on in the years after college. All the different aspects of our lives contribute in some way to an overall well- lived life. Yet one major attribute is our career. I believe that having a successful and fulfilling career is necessary to living life well. I will be expected to provide for myself one day and I can imagine that if I didn’t like my job I wouldn’t be living out my purpose to the happiest extent. Yet I feel the pressure even as a freshman to have everything figured out — what majors and minors to pick up and therefore what career paths will be available to me. In week four of Moreau, we examined some resources from the Career Development Center in which they acknowledged that “there seems to be this commonly held belief in our society that a major equals a certain career path” (“Navigating Your Career Journey” from Meruelo Center for Career Development Undergraduate Career Services - Moreau FYE Week Four). However, they also reassured us this isn’t necessarily true. Just a few weeks ago I declared my major as marketing and felt really happy about it. I have begun exploring the different paths Notre Dame offers in the marketing major and it has reaffirmed this idea for me that my one major doesn’t dictate a specific career path. I hope that my excitement about it as well as the flexibility in the major and someday my career will help me lead a fulfilling work life. Cox 4 A lot of the content this semester focused on self reflection and introspection. Another crucial aspect of attempting to live life well is being aware of what is and isn’t positively contributing to your life. Sometimes, certain things can fit into both of these categories and make it hard to distinguish where to draw the line at which something beneficial turns into something harmful. For myself, I personally think of technology. Having a social media and cell phones allows for instantaneous connections and updates from those we love. I feel as though I have begun to appreciate this in a different way since coming to college. Staying close to my best friends and family at home is easier than ever when we can argue over who did the World the best in our family group chat and my best friends can FaceTime me quickly in between classes. However, in the first week of Moreau, we read an article about the importance of slowing down especially when it comes to technology. “The one thing technology doesn’t provide us with is a sense of how to make the best use of technology” (“Why we need to slow down our lives” by Pico Iyer - Moreau FYE Week One). Despite the ease with which I can share my life and stay in touch with those I love, my phone can be toxic and addictive, distracting me from what is really important and consuming far too much of my time. Technology has made the world more amazing, innovative, and efficient, but also in many ways more stressful. I find myself using my phone as a distraction or a coping mechanism, but it never makes me less stressed. By keeping this in mind and remembering to recenter myself and make the best use of technology, I hope to keep it in line as something that contributes positively to my life. Something else that I think is essential to a life well-lived is your relationships with others. You can have a good life, but how good is it truly if you have no one to share it with? I personally think some of the greatest joy we can experience comes from loving and serving others. In week five of Moreau, we were instructed to have a conversation with someone close Cox 5 to us who knows us well enough to help us discern what a life well-lived is. I chose my mom. When I asked her what she thought I valued most in life she said she thought I valued my relationships. We talked about how trying to understand others as well as being understood gives purpose to one’s life (Discernment Conversation - Moreau FYE Week Five). Especially at college, what brings me some of the greatest joy is the friends I have made. There are many fun activities and educational lessons that have made my life better, but sharing it with the people around me — helping my friends with homework, ranting over boys, getting every meal together, learning things about them and telling them things about me — is the most meaningful part. In week two of Moreau we watched the Hesburgh movie — an overview and testament to Father Ted Hesburgh’s life. Within the movie he is described as extraordinary, however, “[w]hat made him such an extraordinary figure was that he really didn’t really belong to any one side. He belonged to the side of decency . . . and a fundamental belief in the redeemability of mankind.” ("Hesburgh" produced by Jerry Barca and Christine O’Malley - Moreau FYE Week 2). One way to attempt to define what it means to have a life well lived is to look at the example of others. Ask anyone at Notre Dame and they would likely tell you Father Hesburgh was an example of a life well lived, meeting some of the most influential people and fighting for civil rights. Following Hesburgh’s example I think it is important to remember to chose goodness and decency all the time, regardless of “sides.” As cliche as it sounds, one of the most imperative parts of living life well is being a good person and showing love to everyone regardless of their “side” or status. Pope Francis is also someone who exemplified these ideas. He says that “Happiness can only be discovered as a gift of harmony between the whole and each single component” (“Why the only future worth building includes everyone” by His Holiness Pope Cox 6 Francis - Moreau FYE Week 7). Lots of people think that in order to live a meaningful life you have to change the world. I personally don’t think this. Pope Francis brings an important perspective that to truly change the world and bring more love in our lives, we have to treat everyone in this way, not just those closest to us. In his TED talk Pope Francis also says, “When one realizes that life, even in the middle of so many contradictions, is a gift, that love is the source and the meaning of life, how can they withhold their urge to do good to another fellow being?” Indeed, by loving those around us and recognizing that this is at the core of what makes life meaningful, we make the most important difference. It is a scary thought to think any of our lives wouldn’t be well-lived. To conclude I think I would define a good life as being that someday I will be able to look back on my life and be happy, satisfied, and proud of how I acted and what I believed in this world. However, I don’t think there’s any one specific “formula” or recipe to live life well which makes it difficult to always know what to do. I’m still figuring out how to live on my own in college so it might be a little more time before I decide if I am living truly well. If I had to make an assertation on it, I would say it is by treating others and yourself with kindness that we best attempt to live well. I think the most important thing we can do is a little bit each day, to be happy, to love others, and to be a better person.