Stevenson 

Ms. Leis
Moreau First Year Experience
3 December 2021
One Small Step for A Journey of a Lifetime
	The beginning of my Notre Dame journey flew by faster than I could keep track.  Although, I am definitely not the same person that stepped foot on this campus in August.  I was extremely nervous coming here, but now I have developed to be very calm, cool and collected.  I’ve always been extremely hard on myself, but I was even more so at the beginning of the semester.  I would beat myself up over every little mistake and compare myself to others.  I always thought I wasn’t as smart or doing enough compared to my fellow classmates.  In short, I had imposter syndrome big time.  This carried over into the beginning of the semester, as I would get very upset when I didn't get a test score better than the class average.  But I didn’t know imposter syndrome was even a real condition until I learned about it in week nine.  Learning that many people are subjected to this same condition from Ms. Cox felt relieving (“What is Imposter Syndrome?” by Elizabeth Cox - Moreau FYE Week Nine).  Now, when I make comparisons at times where I feel like I did not get the midterm or problem set score that I want, I recognize this syndrome which makes me feel better.  Also I was always a person who set high expectations for myself especially in my academics.  Even when one of those expectations were not met I would get down on myself about it.  Learning from Ms. Hogan to loosen the expectations I have for myself, and giving me more breathing room for learning from my mistakes proved to be valuable to me during my time here (“Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit” by Julia Hogan - Moreau FYE Week Nine).  I still try my best to succeed in my classes.  Now if I didn’t get the grade that I wanted, but I know that I did my best, I am content.
	Coming to Notre Dame has definitely been a bit of a culture shock for me, but not in the way that one would typically think.  My public high school is known for its diversity, and that’s what makes it special.  Only about half of the school is caucasion.  Here, there is some diversity, but it's not to the extreme that I was used to.  At times, I hear students who probably came from generally homogenous high schools make a racial insensitive comment.  When I hear these comments I make sure to correct them, as it doesn’t matter if we are complete strangers to one another we are “woven” together in the same community (“Wesley Theological Seminary Commencement Address” by Father John Jenkins - Moreau FYE Week Ten).  Father’s Jenkins’ speech from week ten was very inspiring.  It made me realize how important being an active bystander in a community really is.  At Notre Dame I try my best to make a difference for good in some shape or form.  The video of the women breaking the pots and putting them back together was also inspiring (“Women Find Healing Through Kintsugi Workshop” - Grotto - Moreau FYE Week Ten).  It showed me that there’s a healing component in entering and overcoming challenges with others.  Now, when I need a break or am stressed over my academics I tend to turn to my friends for help.  Going through these challenges with my friends at my side makes them that much easier.  
	The conversation about diversity continued into week eleven.  As a person who has experienced being a member in a diverse community, I try to immerse myself in groups of diversity.  Diversity really does matter, it exposes one to different ways of living and different cultures outside of their own (“Diversity Matters!” by Prof. Agustin Fuentes - Moreau FYE Week Eleven).  A lack of diversity may lead to an unconscious ignorance and bias to other groups of people outside of one’s self.  At Notre Dame I have been making all kinds of friends from all over the world.  I have learned so much about my friends’ cultures and home that I did not know before.  It’s honestly fascinating.  I wholeheartedly enjoy learning about other peoples.  Surrounding myself with people different from myself at this campus has made me a much more open minded person.  I will absolutely keep following my curiosity as I hope to become friends with even more people that have cultures that are much different from the norms of the western world.  
	Hope has been extremely important in my life, but how I’ve used it has not always been correct.  Before my time here I would have extremely high hopes in my life, this is somewhat related to the high expectations that I have.  Having hope is great, but having high hopes for things that are unachievable is unhealthy.  When I would not achieve what I hoped for I found that all my hope was gone.  I’ve learned this in my struggles and at Notre Dame I have become more faithful in my hope in a theological sense.  I go to mass more and pray, as God has helped my hope even when it seems like all that is lost.  Moreau week 12 contributed to my new awakening of faith as I learned that “The prayers offered in a state of dryness are those which please Him best” (Hope - Holy Cross and a Christian Education by Father James B King - Moreau FYE Week Thirteen).  Allowing God into my life just gives me assurance that there is an overarching power that has a plan for me and cares about me.  I will continue building on my faith in the future as I find it to be very fruitful for my whole person.  
	All in all, I have not grown this much in such a short span of time in my life.  Notre Dame has proven to be the perfect place for me to grow mentally and intellectually.  I look forward to the person I will become at my journey’s end.  For now, I focus on taking it one day at a time, overcoming whatever life throws at me.