Moreau Integration One Experience Different World, Same Me (Or Am I Not?) I believe that everyone anticipates shame subconsciously, whether they realize it or not. Sometimes, I’m embarrassed because I tripped over my own feet or because I got a low grade on my physics exam. Other times, I’m embarrassed because I’m not like other people; I feel vulnerable and like I don’t fit in. Initially, that happened to me at Notre Dame. When I was applying for colleges, I anticipated going to a city like Atlanta, or going to a state like California, where there were a lot more Asians. Leaving Indonesia was already a step outside of my comfort zone; I didn’t know how I would adapt to studying at a predominantly white university with an Asian population of merely 4.5%. Initially, I didn’t feel like I belonged. It was hard to communicate with other people, coming to the US felt like entering a different world, and I was so frustrated because I didn’t know how things operated here and I was vulnerable -- even the smallest things like paying for food. Furthermore, people treated me differently. In accordance with “The single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story,” (“Danger of a Single Story” by Chimamanda Adichie - Moreau FYE Week 7) a lot of people here can be inconsiderate or make assumptions according to stereotypes they know. I am often asked, “How do you speak English so well if you’re from Indonesia?” or thrown a look when I am speaking Indonesian with some of my friends; people tend to assume I’m East Asian instead. I believe that seeking the truth instead of simply believing in stereotypes is important, and must be implemented here at Notre Dame. Although I will never feel as convenient as I am back home, I realized I have to adapt and https://www.ted.com/search?q=The+danger+of+a+single+story be grateful for the opportunities that come my way. Therefore, I strongly resonate with Dr. Brown’s quote -- “The people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they're worthy of love and belonging.” (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week 1) I wanted to make Notre Dame home and I believe I deserve to belong here. I also believe my growth as a person relies on the way I respond to things and the way I learn from situations. Your morals and what you value inside represent who you are. “We happen to live in a society that favors Adam I, and often neglects Adam II,” (“Should You Live for your Resume or Your Eulogy?” by David Brooks - Moreau FYE Week 2) is a quote that appeals to me. A personal value of mine is to be a good person -- I don’t have to put on a smile and be nice to everyone, but I prioritize having good intentions. I believe that my experiences have helped me become a better person, especially with hope -- one of my biggest strengths. Hope has gotten me through a lot of situations where I thought I would give up or where I thought I wouldn’t progress during certain times. It reminds me of Notre Dame’s mission to be a force for good in this world, and I hope to contribute to it, even if it’s somewhere across the world. Notre Dame has also taught me a lot about friendships. Over the course of 8 weeks, I have found people who I connected with emotionally and people who I know I wouldn’t connect with in the long run. I have been manipulated in friendships in a few instances during high school and am more aware of who I choose to surround myself with now. I believe that I find life-forging relationships by finding the right people based on how they treat me and based on how I would treat myself if I were in their position. From the One Love Foundation video, I felt strongly about the “Because I Love You…” (“Because I Love You, Double Whiskey” by One Love https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability/transcript?language=en https://www.ted.com/talks/david_brooks_should_you_live_for_your_resume_or_your_eulogy?language=zh https://www.ted.com/talks/david_brooks_should_you_live_for_your_resume_or_your_eulogy?language=zh https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwQ5ur9OZ-g Foundation - Moreau FYE Week 4) phrase. This phrase does not only come up in romantic relationships, but it can also come up in platonic relationships and can be replaced with a different word instead of love, such as “Because I Appreciate You,” or “Because I Trust You.” I often reflect on this as I tend to forget how such words can be brought up in friendships, and these may be red flags that I will pay attention to in the future. It’s important to be able to distinguish between which friendships are genuine and which are not; it’s also important to understand how to help someone realize that they are in a one-sided friendship if it’s noticeable. At home, I am perceived as mature: I am the oldest sibling and one of the oldest cousins in my extended family. My family members tend to place high expectations on me and I am always reminded of how important it is for me to create a future that represents my family’s virtues. On the other hand, at school and in my community, I am perceived as young -- I have been the youngest in my grade (as I was born in 2004) and I am always the “baby” in my friend group. Although these are accurate perceptions of me and I’ve had many experiences that shaped me as a person today, I am still clueless about so many things that go on in the world today. When I got my offer of admission to Notre Dame, I was thrilled -- and so was the rest of my family. It was a huge accomplishment, but I had mixed feelings about attending. I was seriously considering other schools which did have my major; in addition, I knew nothing about Notre Dame’s tradition and history, unlike most freshmen here. Nevertheless, the one thing that pushed me to attend Notre Dame was my shared value of service; I was willing to help many people during high school, from homework to donating food to homeless shelters. I saw that Notre Dame was very involved in service and it got me intrigued, adding to one of the reasons why I chose to come here. One of the quotes so far that stood out to me was “The way to amplify your life is to use who you are, what you know, and who you know to help others, for that will take your life from success to significance.” (“2021 Laetare Medalist Address” by Carla Harris - Moreau FYE Week 5) I believe that despite my doubts and differences, my stories and values help me in decision-making and help me understand where my roots stand. I believe that faith should play a stronger role in my mentality and life in general. I was born Catholic, my parents are Catholic, and I was raised to praise God and believe in Him. However, I’ve had my fair share of doubts -- growing up, I went to a high school where not a lot of people were religious. Having a religion is one thing; truly believing in it is another. I understood that I shouldn’t have lost my footing and shouldn’t have gotten influenced by others in my environment so easily; however, in addition to being swamped with assignments and prioritizing my studies, I never talked about faith within my school community. I stopped going to Church and often wondered whether God was real; but at the end of the day, I realized how grateful I was for the path I have chosen. I still rely on Him for a lot of my struggles -- as a Notre Dame student once said, “Faith matters to me because it gives me hope in my darkest hours.” (“Student Reflections on Faith” by Campus Ministry - Moreau FYE Week 3) I believe I’m at Notre Dame for a reason. I need to cultivate my faith through the resources here and to surround myself with people who make me feel positively about myself and my beliefs. Despite coming to Notre Dame and trying to reinvent parts of myself that I feel like weren’t sufficient morally a few weeks ago, I never forget what makes me, me. I will continue to be who I was 10 years ago, 5 years ago, and a month ago in the future. I believe that my family, my culture and where I come from will always be a part of my journey and influence who I am as a https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjSwjn-SyB4 https://drive.google.com/file/d/1YVemqUBaAs5DNBPYm806TyQZr3F0xElP/view https://drive.google.com/file/d/1YVemqUBaAs5DNBPYm806TyQZr3F0xElP/view person. The “Where I’m From” poem (Moreau FYE Week 6) I wrote in class reminds me of home -- a place where I feel comfortable, a place where I know I can go back to when I feel upset, and a place where I made the best memories growing up. Indonesia has taught me so many valuable lessons about who I am, and I will continue to bring them with me in the future.