How I Have Changed Since Coming to Notre Dame Moreau Integration Assignment Two: Do I really belong here? (Week 9) During week nine, I was definitely in a mood and based on my comment in the Q.Q.C., it wasn’t a good one. Pulling from a quote in the TedTalk, “Albert Einstein considered himself an ‘involuntary swindler’, or someone whose work didn’t deserve as much attention as it had received.” I remember finding this quote so relatable, especially in my sport. When I was in high school, I was one of the best and now that I’m here, I am constantly getting my butt kicked in workouts. It honestly is really great for me to be able to have such an amazing team and group of girls who support and push me to get better, but it hurts. A lot. Sometimes, I ask myself if I belong here or not (I know many other students do too), and it’s hard to find that reason to justify that I do sometimes. But just the fact of knowing everyone is genuinely feeling the same is oddly comforting. Now that I’ve been here for almost a whole semester, I know that Notre Dame has and will continue to put me through challenges that are going to hurt. A lot. But it will also shape me into the best version of myself. So in short, yes I do belong here. I tend to overthink and get in my head if things start to reach the limit of stress I can handle, which I still need to work on. But what I’ve found interesting is that since I’ve come to Notre Dame, my work ethic for studying and allocating time to do my work has changed dramatically. I was always someone who studied the night before and held off on doing my homework until I needed to, and now that has had to change to stay on top of the workload. (“What Is Imposter Syndrome?” by Elizabeth Cox – Moreau F.Y.E. Week Nine) How can we get along if people believe different things? (Week 10) Several weeks ago, the Irish Rover posted an article titled “No Man Can Serve Two Masters by Mary Frances Myler, and it was very controversial and hurtful, to say the least. This article was a perfect example of Fr. Jenkin’s quote that I used in the Q.Q.C., which was “hatred poisons everything.” It was so bizarre to read an article that spoke down upon our LGBTQ+ community on campus and how the university celebrated National Coming Out Day. Seeing how sad my LGBTQ+ friends were after reading the article was heartbreaking and something that I hope others don’t have to experience. I understand people can have their own opinions on things, but this made me sick to my stomach. It is totally normal for someone to have a friendly discussion about politics and beliefs but when it comes to tearing someone down for who they are or how they identify is where things need to change. People fear things they don’t understand, so having these discussions about beliefs and thought processes will really help open people’s minds and create less animosity, or at least, that is the hope. (“Wesley Theological Seminary 2012 Commencement Address” Fr. John Jenkins, C.S.C. – Moreau F.Y.E. Week Ten) Coexisting can be hard but being alone is harder (Week 11) An excellent example of community is your dorm. I live in Johnson Family, and it is incredible! The hall is so nice, and I am very grateful to live here (especially with A.C. and great common rooms). But even so, Parker J. Palmer’s quote, “We will never walk through that gate if we cling to a romantic image of community as the Garden of Eden,” is spot on when it comes to living with a complete stranger. At first, my roommate and I didn’t get along. Sure, we did the same things since everything was so new, but we both have our little quirks and beliefs that made living together tense. One of the things was early in the semester when I had to wake up early for practice (beat the heat). Those first few weeks were relaxed and low stress, so she would be out until sometimes 4am and come back into the room loud with the lights on. I, of course, needed to wake up at 6am so getting woken up like that was not ideal. But at the same time, I know she would be frustrated because I would go to bed at 11-12 and she would have to deal with having to sneak around the room. Once the weather started cooling off and we got to know each other better, things dramatically changed and now we’re doing great! We understand how the other does things and when their schedules are now, we’re in a great place. (“13 Ways of Looking at Community by Parker J. Palmer – Moreau F.Y.E. Week Eleven) Trying something new is always worth it (Week 12) Since I have been here at Notre Dame, there have been several times where things come up where I have the choice to move past my comfort zone and try new things/make memories or let those moments slip away. To be fair, I don’t say yes to everything but for instance, I have tried some new things. There are always blood drives that are being held on campus. Whenever I can, I help check people in as a service opportunity and to do something different. One of the days, I didn’t have scheduled practice, so I had the chance to donate blood. This would be the first time I would be able to do this, and it was always something I wanted to do but with being in season, I never could. With this idea in mind, I asked some of my friends if we all wanted to try and donate together. Partially to bring in more people (but also because I was too scared to do it myself). Unfortunately, my friends turned it down, but I ultimately decided to do it anyway, so I signed up. Fr. James B. King said, “the contemplation of new ideas and needs beyond our comfort zones requires a sacrificial willingness to put at risk everything that we think we already know.” In the context of my story, this quote supports that it’s obviously a necessary good to donate blood because it helps those around us, even if I was very nervous. The fun thing is, it wasn’t that bad. I was a little nauseous, but in the end, I donated a bag of blood, and a week later I found out my blood type (A-), which is something I didn’t know before donating. It’s insane how it’s already the end of the semester. So many memories have been made and it makes me feel excited for what else is to come! I find myself calmer, more understanding, and less emotional (believe it or not) than I was at the beginning of the semester. I was always so quick to cry about things, but now that I’ve been here (I have still cried a little), in many cases, I feel like I don’t have time because I need to continue to get through the week and that’s been something that works for me. I’m grateful to be at Notre Dame, and I plan to take as much advantage of the time I have here to create even more memories. (“Hope – Holy Cross and Christian Education” by Fr. James B., C.S.C. – Moreau F.Y.E. Week Twelve)