What I encountered and how will I respond

My perspective of life, how was it challenged coming to Notre Dame, how has this helped me grown and develop.

I came to Notre Dame aware that my life would change I was embarking into a new journey on a new challenge and at a place far from home: I was stepping out of my comfort zone. Before coming I already dreamt about the 4 years that were yet to come. I looked at my options for college and already contemplated what would be of my life in each place. I saw Notre Dame as the best fit being an academically challenging institution, with a great community and campus. I was aware that I would face challenges though I was unfamiliar of their nature. Once at campus I perceived those challenges to be mostly physical relying on situations such as room size, food availability and even the dining period which is way earlier than any Brazilian is accustomed to. Though my biggest fear was of the winter period which I knew was harsh in South Bend. 
What presented itself as the true challenge were the challenges which were invisible to the naked eye. For the first time in my life, I struggled with mental health something which I had never even occurred to me before leaving home. I believe that this is because I was away of the warmth and comfort of my home and family which helped me be at peace. The biggest challenge embedded with this were the consequences of the rupture of my friend group which due to a petty disagreement there was a rupture. The breakup of the group was very hard for me, and I struggled with issues I had never experienced before. Though it was through this tough time which I was able to learn about life and how I see it through a way I never dreamt was possible.
As an extroverted person I never thought that I would learn so much by being alone. In one of the toughest moments of my lifetime where I struggled with issues I had never experienced before I learned more about myself than I could have ever imagined. It was in the darkness where I found light. As demonstrated in Week 10’s commentary[footnoteRef:1] conveying the art of self-love, it is through the “good, the bad and the ugly” through which we learn the most.  [1:  Video: “Women Find Healing Through Kintsugi Workshop” (Grotto) Moreau FYE Week 10
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	The whole situation opened my eyes and showed me how nothing is perfect bringing me down to the ‘real world’ and out of the utopia I perceived college to be. When I began my journey in college it all seemed like it was perfect and flawless, I felt like it was flawless. Everything flowed naturally – life was colorful though in reality it was black and white. I was completely unaware of the multifaceted challenges which I will encounter in the future and in most ways still am, though I now have a ‘taste’ of what the ‘real world’ will throw at me. 
The consequence of the turmoil was that I reconnected with friendships which I had made during my first weeks yet never developed them as I spent most of my time with my previous friend group. I spent more time with my dorm and by doing so I regained some of the dorm spirit which I had lost since welcome week. Spending more times with other individuals allowed me to experience more the American culture and thus properly delve into the American college experience, as my previous group relied mostly on members from the Latinx community. Evidence[footnoteRef:2] from Week 11 demonstrated one “should be more curious and not treat other people like an alien if we’re not American”. As a non-American I felt particularly connected to this as I did not feel like an alien even though I came from a completely different culture then most people here.  [2:  Video: “With Voices True Snapshot Summary” (Klau Center Archive on Race Moreau FYE week 11 
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I felt especially welcomed in my dorm community, and in particular my section known as Sh*t Alley because of various tiny rooms being fit together into a small corridor with inferior infrastructure in comparison to the rest of the dorm. This all led to a tight nit community which I am more grateful for now more than I had ever been before. Living with people, friends, who struggle through many similar issues helps me put into perspective the effort that we all require collectively to push through college. Spending more time with them taught me more about living life in the moment, focusing more on the present. This ideology was freeing as it unshackled me of some of the toxicity that revolved around my previous friend group. In Week 9 we explored several concepts regarding living in college one of the key issues were expectations. An article by Julia Hogan[footnoteRef:3] said that “expectations are the bars we set for ourselves. When we meet (or surpass) them, we feel like we are worthy. If we don’t meet those expectations, we feel like the exact opposite — that we aren’t good enough.” What Hogan has to say helped me reflect and think about my time here. College is full of expectations which are empowered by toxicity, as much as it hurt, the rupture of my previous friend group is allowing me to settle within a healthier environment, and as long as I have hope I believe it will be beneficial for me in the long run. [3:  Text: "Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit" (Julia Hogan, Grotto) Moreau FYE 9
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What I learned the most over this semester was the importance of hope. Ever since I was a child, I heard the Brazilian expression that “hope is the last thing that dies” – meaning that when there is nothing, there still is hope. I always heard this saying, but it was only till I spent a semester here that I truly understood it. In Week 12[footnoteRef:4] in a letter by C.S Lewis we are shown how the “Devil is liar” but at the same time he displays that the Angel isn’t always perfect either. This led me to reflect and think about how nothing is perfect, and the only thing that is flawless is hope. Hope is always beneficial no matter what, it doesn’t evoke harm and it is what helps fuel my day-to-day life at Notre Dame. Even through hard times I am truly grateful for my time at Notre Dame and will for sure continue to me over the next 7 semester semesters and for the rest of my life. I am learning more than any textbook could teach me, growing as a person and being forced to mature. Dealing with issues regarding mental health brought to light a new perspective and I now see life differently; I now truly comprehend that hope is incremental in my life and it is through positivity and an open mind that I can uplift myself and others in situations of disdain.  [4:   Brief Introduction to The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis.pdf Moreau FYE Week 12
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