Ingram 1
Integration 3 
 
Bryan Raeume
FYS Moreau
4/4/22
Legends Never Die

Ingram 
Tony’s life was glorious. He was a good man who had a strong belief in morals. He worked hard and left a lasting impact on many people. I was fortunate enough to meet this man at a young age and although he might not have seen it the first time I met him I knew he was going to be a successful man. 
One thing I noticed he always paid attention was the use of his technology while trying to study. He lived by the quote, “The one thing technology doesn’t provide us with is a sense of how to make the best use of technology”("Why we need to slow down our lives (Links to an external site.)" (Pico Iyer, TED) Week 1). I asked him why he was so intesional about his technology usage and he said, “I’ve noticed last semester I was not too careful with my time, and I often felt overwhelmed with my workload, and I felt like I as alwaysing falling behind. One thing this semester I will be sure to incorporate is time for me to organize my work and be more efficient with my time, and I will also incorporate time for me to do other things besides studying. I think these two strategies will offer me less stress, and more joy in my second semester at Notre Dame. Continuing, I think a big reason why I wasn’t able to accomplish some of these things this semester was because of the distraction of my phone. It wasn’t until finals week that I found I’m way more efficient and productive when I put my phone away at my desk and leave the room to get work done.” He has really inspired me to make a change for myself when I’m studying. I’ve learned that it is the intention of getting better that will make you better.
Tony also enjoyed doing good for other people. He lived a life of service and it seemed to fuel him. He would always recite, “I believed education had to have morals but there had to be a way to balance academics and faith. The most loyal thing I can do is be honest.”("Hesburgh  (Links to an external site.)” (Produced by Jerry Barca and Christine O'Malley) Father Jenkins Week 2). Tony often said to me, “I think what contributes to a life well lived is the impact you have for the good of society. I think it’s important to consider that those who serve or do good for the world and humankind are always blessed by the Lord with a satisfying life well lived, as well as a place in heaven. I’ve learned that you do not need to become a priest, teacher or study a major that will ultimately give you a job where you directly serve someone. You can still serve and do good without having a profession that allows you to do so. Many ways where this can happen are obvious like donating time and money to charities, becoming an activist for an issue you care about that will lead to a change for the better of humankind.” I agree with Tony there are many opportunities to make a difference in the world regardless of who you are. I think what most people struggle with is the idea of selecting a job or major to study that will both deliver them with the necessity to live a financially comfortable life, yet also satisfies their life. He’s shown me how important servitude was and how lovely life can reward you with the act of giving.
Early on in college I would always catch him jumping between majors and contemplating what to major in, and I always thought it was because he was trying to find the perfect profession where he could make the biggest impact. Tony would often ask himself questions like, “Where am I headed, where do I want to end up?”( "Meet the nun who wants you to remember that you will die (Links to an external site.)" (Ruth Graham, NY Times)Week 3). He thought about these questions a lot because he thought it was really interesting to think about while in school.  He would often say he was struggling to make a decision about what makes him happy. “It’s really causing a lot of confusion because I need to make important decisions about my future, but I feel like I can't say what major I want right now because I have no clue.” He often utilized the “Three key questions” which allowed him to navigate through these hardships and challenging times.
“There seems to be this commonly held belief in our society that a major equals a certain career path. Granted there are certain career paths - namely accounting and engineering fields - for which it is valuable, if not necessary, to have a certain sort of educational background, but the list stops there.”(“Navigating Your Career Journey Meruelo Family Center for Career Development Week 4). 
When Tony was at Notre Dame he really struggled with his career discernment. He felt intimidated, and unsure of what to do in terms of career discernment. I think he felt this way because his current career path plans were always changing. He taught me that you can partake in many jobs with any major, and there is always the option of heading back to school to chase another career path. I also remember him saying the only way to know is to “test the waters through trial and error.” This would make him feel like doing the right thing, and being constructive with his discernment by understanding that wanting to switch majors, and trying other options is good.
One time Tony had asked me , What do you think I most value and desire in life? and Why?
To which I responded, “I think you desire to be happy, and to help others. Through our relationship I’ve noticed that you are happier, and in better moods when you either help someone or do something you love consistently. I think this is because you are very caring, and want to make an impact in someone's life.”

Tony had an eye for seeing the best in people, but also he could see what they needed to improve on. He always told me don’t be too hard on yourself he always referred to this study the suggested, “ Asking “why?” in one experiment appeared to cause the participants to fixate on their problems instead of moving forward."The Right Way to be Introspective (Yes, There's a Wrong Way) (Links to an external site.)" (Tasha Eurich, TED Conferences week 6) I believe that some personal obstacles that are in my way of living a well lived life is something that I often struggle with. I think I am evaluating myself too much and because of this I struggle to stay positive all the time. I worry about all the things I’m not doing, but I should be focusing on all the things I have done. Recently, I have been running and gunning in each of my classes, and this has caused me to constantly worry about all the work I’m not getting done. I also think that this stress and downgrading thoughts make me more upset and impatient and this causes me to push those I care about the most away from me. I think reading Tony’s eulogy has allowed me to remember that I’ve armed myself with the tools to be a more positive person, and be happier with my life here at Notre Dame. I’m excited to implement some of these things into my schedule and start becoming more eqanted to my schedule at Notre Dame just like Mr.Tony once had. 
Tony enjoyed his experiences at Notre dame, and one thing he told me was the relationship he made will last forever. I asked him, “How do you know” to which he responded,“One cannot love unless it is at their own expense.”( “Why the only future worth building includes everyone (Links to an external site.)” (His Holiness Pope Francis, TED Conferences)week 7). Tony would say, “I think any type of relationship constitutes a life well lived. I say this because if you’re well acquainted with many people that means that many people enjoy your presence and your impact on them.” I agree with him, and I think If this is the case, your life has been well lived because you’ve positively impacted people throughout your life which has led to an increase in pleasure to society. I believe This really only holds true if you’re able to sustain the relationships you have, and they are healthy. I think it’s possible to have relationships that can be bad and can constitute a life that has not been well lived. For me, I know I have succeeded in a solid relationship when I can feel comfortable and just enjoy myself around this particular person. One thing I struggle understanding, but I believe is that just because you and another person do not have a good relationship doesn’t mean that either of you are bad. It just means the relationship isn’t right for you. 
Tony will forever be missed, but always will be remembered for his wise viewpoints of specific topics of discernment. He made it to the promise land, and I have no doubt that he’s legacy will not die simply because Legends never die.