Moreau Integration 2 11/27/2021 Moreau FYE Integration 2 Growing in my ND journey Through my experiences and growth in my Notre Dame experience, I believe that I have become more fully myself. I remember writing my application essays in which I talked about this Moreau class specifically. I wrote about how I wanted to go to a school where I would not only be challenged to be the best student I could be but also to be the best person I could be. In reality I did not know much about this class however my sister told me the general idea. Little did I know how accurate my predictions about this class would be. Each class has presented great opportunities to ponder and discuss important concepts and questions in our society. I truly feel as if I have grown in my capabilities to discuss my feelings and experiences with others. I have only been treated with love and respect in my group discussions through this class and have grown closer to many people in that classroom. One of the most memorable discussions was during the visit to the Snite Museum. My initial reaction to seeing the art piece was the feeling of being overwhelmed and a little intimidated. The fact that there were no correct initial predictions as to what the artist was aiming to display through this piece has shown me that everyone will always have their own ideas and viewpoints on any topic given to them. It is very hard to truly communicate everything that is on your mind and therefore it is hard to fully express yourself to the fullest degree. It was almost shocking to find out that the topic was about racial prejudice and fighting against it. The fact that everyone in the room had thoughtful and meaningful ideas such as topics regarding the afterlife showed me that even if the true message is not completely understood, thinking critically about something can bring about many different conversations that can be important. I am thankful for the caring environment that the Moreau FYE has created because I am so used to people being so hateful and toxic when discussing anything remotely controversial. This type of experience is captured in the following quote, “Each side has never been more eager yet more unable to dominate the other. Both sides call for change, but each believes it’s the other side that must change” ("Wesley Theological Seminary 2012 Commencement Address" by Fr. John Jenkins - Moreau FYE week 10). I will aim to listen to more people's ideas and opinions and not try to dominate just for the sake of being correct because there is usually some sense in where these ideas come from. I will continue to stay humble and accept that I can be ignorant and incorrect. Everyone is bound to have prejudices and I hope to understand where people are coming from in discussions about important concepts. Before coming to Notre Dame, I was used to being a part of a very small community in which everyone is aware of everyone’s business. I was expecting to come to college and everyone not minding anyone's business but I was very wrong. There is still so much gossip and hate spread around to put others down. I was surprised to meet many people with huge egos. In the first couple months I was already struggling with knowing my place here and it did not help https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23692/modules/items/104210 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23692/modules/items/104210 to see these people putting up a front and acting like they are in control of everything. I had the mindset described in the following quote, “The common thread in all of these examples is that these individuals believe they must be perfect and that they must live up to the expectations of others (and themselves)” ("Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit" by Julia Hogan, Grotto - Moreau FYE Week 9) Over time I have learned to stop comparing myself to others because there will always be somebody more talented and skilled in certain areas because no one can be good at everything. I know I will never be perfect and should not be upset about that, I should stop being so hard on myself and be happy when I put in effort. Building deeper connections with people who are not douchebags has increased in importance greatly. I was used to being forced to be friends with certain people because of how small my class was, however now I can choose anyone I want to be around. I will actively avoid those people who have the mindset that they are better than others. My own physical and mental health has also increased in importance since coming here. At the start of the year I barely got any sleep and was not living a healthy lifestyle while eating dining hall food with little nutritional value. Once I was able to have a work routine and find more free time, I was able to start getting more sleep and even start working out a little. As I continue to get better study and work habits, I plan to join an engineering club which I believe will be a valuable experience for my future. Regarding the dining hall food, I have learned ways to combine different foods in the dining hall to not only taste better but to be healthier. The start of the school year was very academically challenging. It seemed that I was the only one feeling this way because not many people around me would talk about their struggles. I was thinking that everyone here was just naturally smarter and more talented than I was. Later on I realized that everyone struggled in their own ways. I also realized how many opportunities I had to seek help such as tutors and office hours. This relates to the idea in week 12 where it is always better to seek guidance from people better than you instead of trying to do everything yourself, “While anyone can navigate his own path without formal or substantial instruction in the faith, as was true of Moreau’s parents, some leaders, lay, religious, and clergy must be capable of articulating and teaching the message.” (“Holy Cross and Christian Education” by Father James B. King - Moreau FYE Week 12). Ever since I signed up for small group tutoring for two of my classes and started attending office hours more often, I have felt much more comfortable in understanding concepts in class. I will continue to take advantage of both of these and actively seek out more ways to get help in classes when I need it. I know another way I could get help is to seek out fellow classmates to organize study groups. I plan to do this more often next semester. Something that was once ambiguous to me was how people had enough free time to do clubs and schooling. I was really struggling balancing work with my normal day to day life. Through this struggle and suffering I was able to push myself to build better work habits. I have found that I am able to convert struggle and suffering into success in most cases through perseverance. This idea relates to the following quote, “Suffering lets our ‘hearts break open’ enough to hold both a vision of hope and the reality of resistance without tightening like a fist.” https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23692/modules/items/104200 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23692/modules/items/104200 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23692/files/187465/download?download_frd=1 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23692/files/187465/download?download_frd=1 (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker J. Palmer Moreau FYE week 11). By seeking out the help mentioned in the previous paragraph, I have found more free time for myself. I plan to use this extra time to join clubs. Next semester I will make sure to participate in a couple clubs to see which one suits me best. https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/23692/modules/items/104233