Expectations and Setbacks My first semester at college has been extremely rewarding as it has taught me more life lessons and skills then I ever could have imagined. I have encountered both achievements and failures which have shown me how to become a better person, student, and member of the community. The setbacks and failed expectations that I have experienced this semester have allowed me to gain a better understanding of adulthood and independence. Since my father attended Notre Dame, I always had this glamorous view of the university and what it had to offer. The campus is stunning, the games are entertaining, and the academics are amongst the best across the nation. All of these remain true, however after arriving on campus other ideas about the university have been brought to my attention. As a gateway student it is very difficult to feel welcomed and loved by the Notre Dame administration considering the housing situation. After hearing the news that we would not receive housing on campus next year, I was very agitated and confused with how little the administration seemed to care. We were given an amazing description of the Gateway program and how easy the transition to campus is sophomore year, yet these were all lies. As weeks went by, I began to realize that this was truly a blessing. I will have a much different experience than a typical Notre Dame student, but in my eyes it could actually be better- I can cook my own meals, have my own bathroom, not have to abide by parietals, and have much more space than a dorm. It has taught me that if you have a preconceived idea of how some experience might go, it most likely will never turn out the way you dreamed it would. So, it is best to have an open and clear mind when entering a new part of your life so that you avoid being disappointed. As Julia Brown said, “ Not only are these expectations arbitrary, but they will almost always backfire on you. You can’t live your life according to the expectations of others. When you do, you aren’t living your own life — you’re living someone else’s life.” ( https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/? utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau , Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit, by Julia Brown- Moreau FYE Week 9). I will take this idea with me throughout my entire life as I begin new jobs, meet new people, and travel to new places. Another example of a failure that I have experienced is of course, school. I have always been a good student and never really had to put in that much effort to do well in high school. However in college, this method was shown to be extremely ineffective. In my biology class, we have exams every few weeks. When the first one rolled around I was feeling confident as I have learned the material many times throughout my education. I did minimal studying, but while taking the exam I immediately regretted this. My professor made the exam very tricky and you truly had to understand the concepts and material at hand to answer the questions correctly. So, without studying very well I did poorly on the exam as my grade was a 75%. I knew that I could do better so I began to read each chapter in the textbook and rewrite my notes before quizzes and exams. Over time I have mastered the studying techniques for the class and have an A in the class! I needed that first failure to wake me up and force me to reevaluate my study techniques so that I could be successful. This idea is portrayed in the quote, “Everybody, I hope, walks away with this like greater connection to who they are. That https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau they learn, that the things they’ve experienced - the good, the bad, the ugly, all of that- it has made them this beautiful, dynamic, interesting person that they are today” ( https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/heal/find-healing-through-kintsugi-art/ , Women Find Healing Through Kintsugi Workshop, by Kirsten- Moreau FYE Week 10). This lesson was extremely important in making me a better student and I am sure that I will struggle many more times in new and challenging classes but I now know that I have the strength to bounce back. Finally, my last example of an expectation that was proved wrong involved politics and religion. Being from New York, I was raised in a progressive household and most of my friends and family are liberal and share the same beliefs. In addition, although I was baptized and received my first communion and confirmation, I was not raised in a very strict catholic household. I don’t attend church often, and honestly I struggle with finding a connection to God and believing in everything. Over the summer, as it came closer to attending school, I became worried that I would be overwhelmed with conservative Christians who would try to push their beliefs onto me. However, I have now realized that this was a very foolish idea. The religious aspect of the university is very strong, however it is only there if you want to be a part of it. And, if you want to steer clear of it, no one will give you a hard time. In regards to the political side, I have made conservative friends who I respect and can have respectful debates with. I have become more respectful of other people’s beliefs as everyone was raised in a different environment. A quote that portrays the idea of respecting all in a community is, “My concept of community must be capacious enough to embrace everything from my relation to strangers I will never meet (e.g., the poor around the world to whom I am https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/heal/find-healing-through-kintsugi-art/ accountable), to people with whom I share local resources and must learn to get along (e.g., immediate neighbors), to people I am related to for the purpose of getting a job done (e.g., coworkers and colleagues)” ( http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/ , Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community, Parker J. Palmer - Moreau FYE Week 11). I think that this was one of the most important lessons I have learned so far because I will always find people who believe in different ideas than me, but I must learn to respect them to foster a healthy community. My time here has been very enlightening and I feel that I have become more self-aware of myself and my surroundings. I have learned many lessons such as avoiding having high expectations, using failures as a fuel for success, and to be respectful of all opinions. I have learned these lessons through first-hand experiences here that have involved many struggles and setbacks. The most important lesson that I have failed to mention thus far is that everyone is struggling too. Through talking to friends, classmates, and even friends from back home, it is obvious that everyone has had their own sets of problems that they had to overcome. As Reverend James B. King says, “One does not have to be a Christian to believe that adversity does, or at least can, make people stronger and prepare them for harder challenges in the future, but no education in the faith is complete without an understanding of how the cross is much more than a burden once carried by Jesus” ( https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28317/files/189556?module_item_id=106340 , Holy Cross and Christian Education, Reverand James B. King - Moreau FYE Week 12). This idea that everyone has their own burdens and everyone is becoming stronger because http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/ https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28317/files/189556?module_item_id=106340 of this is very comforting and warming. Notre Dame has given me unique experiences that have taught me influential and valuable life lessons.