Microsoft Word - Moreau Integration 2.docx Father Kevin Sandberg Moreau Integration 2 2 December 2021 A Reflection of the Semester 105 days. 2448 hours. 146,880 minutes. Each of these equivalent times represent how long I have been here at Notre Dame. Three months ago, on August 20th, I arrived to Notre Dame’s campus, along with the approximately 2000 other incoming freshman. I cannot believe how little time has passed, but how much my life has changed… for the better. I cannot believe that I am days away from finishing my very first semester of college. By being here at Notre Dame, it has helped me gain a better understanding of my past, present, and future. What am I made of? Especially towards the end of high school, college was all I would talk about. I would tell my mom at least once a day how I was so excited to graduate high school and go to college, even though I had no idea where I wanted to go or what I wanted to study. During my later years of high school, reaching college was almost the only bright side to attending high school. Overall, high school was not a fun experience for me. Especially during the year where high school mattered the most, senior year, I was not having fun. Honestly, my last year in high school was filled with unhealthy friendships and anxiety. One of the biggest problems I encountered in high school was that I really struggled with finding a friend group that I identified with. Although I had a lot of friends, I did not have a lot of close friends. Friendships were very one-way and surface-level. My friends and I did not “cultivate a capacity for connectedness through contemplation,” which is a key element of a community (“Thirteen Ways to Look at Community” by Parker J. Palmer – Moreau FYE Week 11). We would support one another, but we would rarely challenge one another. I believe that honesty in a relationship is crucial for both parties to be happy. In addition to the issue of friends, towards the end of school, I began to experience a lot of anxiousness not just from schoolwork, but from physically school itself. There was a point in time where even entering the school building would cause my chest to tighten. I absolutely hated going to school, so I ultimately switched to online school for the second half of my senior spring semester. Overall, I couldn’t wait to go to college. This high school experience is I think what I am made of. Even though I did not enjoy high school, I still kept my eye on better days ahead (i.e. college). For that reason, I believe that I am very hopeful. Even though I didn’t have a good time in high school, I had hope for my future. I think a lot of the hope I had was from a great relationship I had with God. This relates back to my Moreau Week 12 content of our rules for life. My first rule I wrote down was “TRY to keep God in mind (“Rules of Life” by – Moreau FYE Week 12).” Even though sometimes I would struggle with things during my senior year, I would try to talk them over with God. I would come to him about anything, whether it be as big as my college admission decisions or just keeping me safe on a quick drive to the store. My answer to “What I am made of” is very similar to the Kintsugi pottery that was discussed in the Week 10 materials (“Women Find Healing Through Kintsugi Workshop by Grotto – Moreau FYE Week 10)”. The shattered pottery is rebuilt, and its pieces are mended with gold. I think this ties in with the concept of hope. No matter how broken your pottery is, it will be rebuilt to once again create a strong and beautiful piece of art. Similarly, no matter how much brokenness you have personally encountered, you can be rebuilt into something brand new and more beautiful. This concept of rebuilding should be a sense of hope. There is always time for healing. What am I made for? I unfortunately do not have an exact career path, location, or lifestyle that would answer the question of “what am I made for?” I do not know exactly what my life’s purpose is. Despite not having the knowledge of where my final “destination” of the journey of life will be, I truly believe that I am on my way to reaching it. I believe that by being a student here at Notre Dame, I have officially begun the journey of reaching that career path, location, or lifestyle relating to my life’s purpose. I finally have the freedom I always desired. However, gaining this freedom has come with a lot of adjusting, especially with pluralistic ignorance. This relates back to the content of the TED-Ed talk by Elizabeth Cox (“What is Impostor Syndrome?” by Elizabeth Cox – Moreau FYE Week 9). Since Notre Dame is such a prestigious college with such talented students, it is hard to open up about struggles with academics here. From the outside, it seems like everyone here is doing well, getting enough sleep, eating healthy, having a social life, and overall having a balanced schedule. Although I know this is not true, it still seems like everyone is perfect. As a result, I have consistently criticized myself over not being perfect and not “keeping up to par.” However, I have begun to realize that I always try to put my best foot forward, and try my best at all times. This may be cheesy, but I feel that my life experiences over the past several years is similar to a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. Like a caterpillar, I had to go through a period of discomfort (my high school experience) to be able to emerge into something beautiful (being a student at a college I love). Despite this period of discomfort, it was only temporary. At Notre Dame, I know I am happier than I have ever been, and it has been noticeable by others. When I came back for winter break, my mother had told me that she can tell I am a happier person since arriving here at Notre Dame. I completely agree with her. I have had so much fun here at Notre Dame, and I have formed so many great friendships. Pretty much every day here, I have smiled, laughed, or made memories. Even though I am just a first semester freshman, I have really tried to relish every single day here. I am extremely lucky and fortunate to be able to attend such a highly-acclaimed university that I believe is my dream college. Go Irish!