Week 13-Integration-Irons Irons 1 Jacob Irons Professor Whittington Moreau First Year Experince 3 December 2021 Sleep, Friends, and New Ideas My First Semester in College This past semester has been one of encountering new challenges and adapting to college life. When you go to college, you understand that life will change and you will face tough challenges; however, nothing will prepare you for the transformation college will bring in such a short time. It’s your first time away from your home, parents, and bubble. When these safeguards are finally removed from someone’s life, the entire world they know changes and even where they call home. One of the most significant changes I have encountered in college has been changing my sleep schedule. Throughout all of my life, I have gone to bed early and rose early in the morning. As many know, college does not follow these guidelines as it’s a late riser and late-night type of atmosphere. I never got on this trend in high school. I was never afraid to call it a night before 10 o’clock, and I had no problem arising from my slumber before the sun was ever visible. My friends would always make fun of me and joke saying I was an 80-year-old man. However, college is just structured later in all regards. Classes start at eight o’clock, clubs begin at seven or nine o’clock, and dorms are honestly never quiet until midnight; students are forced into this box with all these factors. Coming to college, this was not an obstacle I never intended to face; nevertheless, you have to adapt. Many people cry, whine, and ask why it can not stay the same when coming to college. This was not my approach; I responded with the understanding that complaining would Irons 2 do me no good and that you should just adjust and move on. If you do not modify, you will be left in the wings looking on. I changed my sleep schedule to better fit my new way of life. Another obstacle I faced entering college was creating bonds and friendships. I never really had a problem with this is in high school. Although I went to a catholic grammar school until high school, I was still never forced into creating new friendships. I played every sport our town offered soccer, basketball, and baseball, allowing me to build friendships on the court or field rather than in the classroom. Nonetheless, when I entered high school, it did take time to create these friendships. However, nothing would have prepared me to come to college. As stated above, many understand that you will meet new friends; however, you are starting from scratch, there is nothing to fall back on. The first week I described myself as having a lot of acquaintances, not a whole lot of friends. It was a lonely time. There are all these people around you; however, you never really feel close to them. I understand you can not just think that friends will happen at the snap of the fingers. You start to wonder whether it is you because everyone around you is laughing and creating these close bonds. Emery Bergmann states it perfectly in her article, “Loneliness is too often paired with self-blame and self-criticism” (Advice From a Formerly Lonely College Student” by Emery Bergmann - Moreau Week Nine). As my loneliness increased, I started to turn on myself and thought that I was the common denominator on why everyone had friends and why I did not. Although you are prepped, it will be tough to create these bonds; no one will ever prepare you that first week where you are on an island thinking it is yourself. It often got to the point where you were wondering whether Notre Dame was the place for me. Was this school just so far from what I had already known in high school that I had made a wrong decision to attend the University of Notre Dame. However, my parents have always told https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/09/well/family/advice-from-a-formerly-lonely-college-student.html https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/09/well/family/advice-from-a-formerly-lonely-college-student.html Irons 3 me that fleeing a difficult problem is good for you but makes you feel worse about the situation. Father King states it perfectly, “We need to have hope in that process to stick with it” (Hope- Holy Cross and Christian Education by Fr. James B. King, C.S.C. - Moreau Week Twelve). This is precisely what I needed to do; stick with it and not lose hope. So often, I would just lose hope and throughout all my other options. However, after that first week, I stopped sitting back and wondering why this was happening and tried to change what I could. First, I opened my door to the dorm. This allowed me to have small conversations with everyone when they walked by my dorm, creating these short bonds. Then I started asking people to go to the dining hall with me instead of going alone. These minor changes are how I responded to my loneliness. Now I can say that I have been afforded some great friends since that first week. Another experience I have been encountered since attending the University of Notre Dame has been meeting many different people from various backgrounds. I grew up in the quiet corner of Connecticut, which did not have much diversity or other disverified experiences. Everyone in my region of Connecticut had relatively the same ideals. Since coming here, I have been exposed to a variety of different beliefs. It took time to fully understand where they were coming from. In my short time on campus, I go back to a quote from Parker Palmer, “Receptivity involves inner work” (Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community by Palker Palmer, Center for Courage and Renewal - Moreau Week Eleven). I had to do a workshop on myself to set myself up to become receptive to all these different ideas. I hope this has allowed me to become a better member of the campus community. Often people that have contradicting beliefs do not talk peacefully with each other. They will yell and scream and make comments that will leave everyone involved hurt. When https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28308/files/189414?module_item_id=106246 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28308/files/189414?module_item_id=106246 http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/ Irons 4 encountering people of different views, it is vital to remember a quote from Kintsugi pottery, “Hearts are breakable” (Finding Healing Through Kintsugi Workshop by Grotto - Moreau Week Ten). People lose sight that what is said in fights will leave people hurt and heartbroken. This is why being receptive is so important. You need to work on yourself to ensure that you do not break others’ hearts when you are involved in these tough conversations. I have ensured that when involved in tough conversation I understand that hearts are breakable. College is a location of firsts and you encounter many different obstacles. It is not just being faced with new obstacles but it is how you respond to these challenges without your safeguards around you. For me it was adjusting to a new sleep schedule, making new friends and working on myself to become more receptive. https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/heal/find-healing-through-kintsugi-art/