Matthew Daly
Integration Three
Writing my Eulogy
	This week Matthew Daly, a member of our community, passed away. His life was characterized by his good heart and desire to help others and create a positive impact, however this would not come without its own struggle. Our values are a product of our experiences in the form of nurture, education, faith, success, and mistakes. We remember his passing both out of respect and celebration, but also in order to learn by looking back over his lifetime and seeing how Matthew’s experiences forged him. One particularly important part of his upbringing - his undergraduate years at Notre Dame - were critical to the discernment of his values and ambitions. The friends, acquaintances, and mentors who he met at college and the experiences they had together are critical in understanding his life.
	Matt began practicing the secular sabbath, a time of separation from electronics and the stresses of life his freshman year of college. I recall him saying to me once, “when people are given responsibilities or set goals for themselves they quickly lose focus on the bigger picture of life. Constantly searching for the next step or trudging through their daily work leaves people feeling tired and sad. “ He was not wrong when he said this. A philosopher who first introduced him to this concept explained how recent advances have diminished the ability of someone to find a safe haven from the stresses of the world (“Why We Need to Slow Down Our Lives” by Pico Iyer - Moreau FYE Week One). Technology, which has intruded into everyone’s life, now puts a functionally infinite amount of information within our reach and has greatly increased our connectedness with each other. As such, more than ever we need to figure out how to filter through this information to live in tranquility. 
	A life is not complete without a career in which one is devoted. For Matt, his ambition was to help make some amount of beneficial change in the world. He had worked as a volunteer at a living history museum back in middle school, and it was there where he found his passion in working to spread knowledge. At Notre Dame he read about Mary Kate Battle, a nominee for the Domer Dozen (a university alumni award) who used her engineering degree to teach children in the Congo how program, so that they could advance their country and economy (“Domer Dozen Nominees” by ND Alumni Association - Moreau FYE Week Two). Her work in parts of Uganda and Jordan allowed her to continue on her mission to spread technical knowledge in the third world. For Matt, people like Mary were highly inspirational, and as a computer science student at Notre Dame, he began to follow in her footsteps. His work bringing computing skills into Africa uplifted communities and villages; he really was a generous person, and was willing to disregard his own physical desires to benefit strangers. This conviction came from his sense of faith and the learning that took place during his college years. But the urgency behind his action was a result of a Nun who wanted him to remember his own coming death. I remember him saying something along the lines of “ As a freshman I still have time to orient myself towards a certain field of study and explore different career paths. 
`	An article by New York Times writer Ruth Graham detailed how a convent Nun was trying to remind people of their mortality in order for them to better plan their lives to be meaningful and spiritual (“Meet the Nun Who Wants You to Remember You Will Die”, by Ruth Graham - Moreau FYE Week 3). Though a somewhat unpleasant thought, this kind of reasoning is tied in with the necessity of life discernment which takes place during the four years one spends as an undergraduate. I remember him saying “The journey towards finding my role in business will be a long one, but the reward of a fulfilling career is enough of an incentive to continue.” This way of thinking is preached by the Notre Dame first year educators. They believe that when making an important life decision one should look at a problem from every angle, and balance the benefits and detriments (“Navigating Your Career Journey” by ND Moreau - Moreau FYE Week 4). 
These kinds of decisions do not have to be made entirely on one’s own. Talking with a friend can give someone valuable insight into their own strengths and weaknesses. A conversation between Matt and his friend Michael lead to him discovering his sense of adventure and values of innovation and accomplishment. This interaction, he told me, had a great sway on his decision to pursue a computer science degree (“Week Five Discernment Conversation Activity” by ND Moreau - Moreau FYE Week 5). Yet not everything that comes in life is a result of a decision we make. Sometimes, unfortunate things happen and put people in difficult spots.
	JD Kim, a young man with dreams of becoming a chef and to explore the world was paralized after a snowboarding accident (“5 Minutes” by Grotto - Moreau FYE Week 6). Despite this terrible misfortune, and the period of depression that followed, he eventually found a new path to living a good life. His work in introspection and discoveries in faith led him to realize that oftentimes when we look only at what we do not have, we fail to see what we still have. Kim later gained a doctorate degree in theology and works to teach others from his own experience and study. When bad things inevitably came up in Matt’s life he tried to keep a level head and work to improve himself and his position. Of course this is difficult for anyone to do, and it often takes time, but practicing the secular sabbath undoubtedly helped him meditate and develop new goals, much like Dr. Kim. 
	Finally, Matt was someone who really wanted to see people fit in to his community. He was accepting of others regardless of their appearance or background because of works he read such as Jurisdiction (“Jurisdiction” by Gregory Boyle, Moreau FYE Week 7). This book taught him that you can never truly know someone's background and experience and how acts of kindness can go a long way in overcoming barriers towards mutual understanding, and allowed him to spread love rather than division. 
	Although the circumstance that brings us all together today is the unfortunate passing of a community member, I want you all to look at the good things and practices that existed in his life, and use it as a reminder that we all will oneday find ourselves in his position.