Closing Out the First Semester at the University of Notre Dame by I believe I have learned much during my time at Notre Dame so far and hope to reflect on all that has happened to me and all that I have accomplished. Looking back on the second half of my first semester at Notre Dame, I am wondering why I chose to attend Notre Dame. I feel I have been too focused on others’ reasons as to why they chose Notre Dame and the admissions office’s reasons as to why they accepted me to attend this school instead of the reasons I chose to come here. I believe this feeling ties back to the imposter syndrome video from week nine and thinking that “others are just as skilled” and should have been admitted over me (“What is the imposter syndrome and how can you combat it?” by Elizabeth Cox – Moreau FYE Week Nine). I have encountered some incredibly smart people so far at Notre Dame and have thought about my fit in the school. I have tried not to think about school this way, but it is easy to compare yourself to those around you who are succeeding, and you feel as though you are struggling more than those around you. I feel as though these thoughts have influenced my expectations for myself. I am trying to meet my own expectations which are set very high and are “arbitrary and not definite rules for the only way to live life” (“Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit” by Julia Hogan – Moreau FYE Week Nine). This quote from week nine should place me at ease but with the set curriculum for college that I have set for myself, it seems as though there is the one path before me, and I should succeed in order to go on to have a good job and live a good life. I have struggled becoming comfortable at Notre Dame and I have struggled to pinpoint the reason as to what is stopping me from full heartedly calling Notre Dame my home. It may be that I am trying to rush into it. I have been asked by my parents many times if I feel that I belong at Notre Dame. I say I think so, but something is stopping me from saying yes. It could be my set expectations for myself and not meeting them. I believe I have become closer to God during my time at Notre Dame because I will begin praying when I feel very anxious. I have been praying a lot. This prayer however has helped me place more trust in God’s hands and has let me relax more during my day and I believe overtime I will become more comfortable at Notre Dame. I believe this thought relates to the commencement speech from week ten which included the quote “I believe your faith can have a transforming effect on the world” (“Wesley Theological Seminary Commencement” by Fr. John Jenkins, C.S.C. – Moreau FYE Week Ten). Although I have not focused on bringing out my faith to the world, I believe my world has been transformed through my faith because I am able to have a more relaxed outlook on my life at Notre Dame. Being a college student is a very hard life to adjust to. It has been hard for me to be in a bubble at college and to be in the same area that I go to school in and sleep in. Having a roommate and practically no alone time to destress has been tough as well. I feel as though I am in constant stress mode while at Notre Dame because there is always homework and projects that need to get done. I have also struggled with the food at the dining hall because I have Celiac Disease so advocating for myself and gluten free food in the special food section of the dining hall has been hard. I feel as though I am firing on all cylinders. I believe my experiences with college life relates to the sentiment from the “Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” article which states that “hard experiences…are not the death knell of community: they are the gateway into the real thing” (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQUxL4Jm1Lo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQUxL4Jm1Lo https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://president.nd.edu/homilies-writings-addresses/wesley-theological-seminary-commencement/ https://president.nd.edu/homilies-writings-addresses/wesley-theological-seminary-commencement/ http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/ J. Palmer – Moreau FYE Week Eleven). This sentiment rings true because I have been able to relate to others in my dorm who are struggling with the stress of school and the difficulty of our courses. One specific example is General Chemistry 1 and the lab associated with the class. The lab is very long, and I feel as though everyone in the class and lab can bond over the difficulties of messing up and having to struggle through the experiments. I have found community by relating to my classmates on a struggling together level and getting to know them better during those long lab times. I believe I have grown up a lot over these past almost four months. It looks like such a short amount of time, but I have learned so much academically and have grown spiritually. I have learned about my study habits and how to alter them for different classes. I have learned much more about the Ancient Greek langue from my class this semester than I have in the entire year I took it in my senior year of high school. The academics seem sped up, so I have had to adjust to the speed and believe I have. Spiritually, I have been able to attend daily mass on Tuesdays and Thursdays in the basilica which have been great. I have been able to attend every Sunday mass in my dorm which has helped me become closer with those in my dorm who share the same faith beliefs. I have encountered those with drastically different beliefs with my own and have had honest conversations with those people to better understand their beliefs. These conversations have been eye opening and have shown me different perspectives that I have not considered before. When having these conversations, I try my best to be open and honest which can be difficult if someone is questioning what you base your beliefs on. This idea of “questioning beliefs” is not new to me but underutilized until now (“Hope – Holy Cross and Christian Education” by James B. King, C.S.C. – Moreau FYE Week Twelve). I believe I am growing in maturity and desire to welcome these sorts of conversations to open myself more to the world around me. In conclusion, I have been dealing with the highs and lows of college life and pondering my place at Notre Dame. I do believe that I should be at Notre Dame because there is no better environment for me to grow in my faith life and be challenged academically. Going forward, I hope to continue to have eye opening conversations so that I can deepen my beliefs or challenge my outlook on the world. https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28177/files/188503?module_item_id=105314 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28177/files/188503?module_item_id=105314