Microsoft Word - integration two - moreau - fall 2021.docx McArthur 1 Claire McArthur Moreau First Year Experience Prof. Retartha 3 December 2021 New Experiences and New Friends Throughout this first semester, my value on new experiences and going outside my comfort zone has increased exponentially. At the beginning of the semester, the idea of a “friend group” felt ambiguous and scary. But now, I feel that I have found an amazing group of friends who are fun to be around and make me happy. The biggest thing I’ve learned in college is the need for authentic, genuine connections. The first few weeks of school, I felt like I couldn’t be real with my friends about how I was really feeling and what was going on in my life. Topics like homesickness, family issues, and more felt off limits. However, I quickly realized that I would feel much better when I was able to be honest about my feelings with my friends. The Week 11 Moreau module included a quote that says, “We were created in and for a complex ecology of relatedness, and without it we wither and die” (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker J. Palmer – Moreau FYE Week Eleven). The need for community and need for connectedness is essential. Not only did I feel better being honest and authentic with my friends, but it also deepened our friendship. Letting them into my life allowed them to feel like I could be let into theirs, fostering a sense of community and belonging amongst my friends. Over Thanksgiving break, my dog was taken by a coyote one hour before I landed. I was – and still am – heartbroken but talking with friends and letting them know what is going on in my life has made the experience more bearable. McArthur 2 Unpacking the sadness of my dog dying with my friends has been essential for me to move on and heal from the experience. Another realm of “the college experience” that felt vague and is now clearer is the social scene. The Week 9 Moreau module included a quote that says, “You can’t live your life according to the expectations of others. When you do, you aren’t living your own life – you’re living someone else’s life” (“Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit” by Julia Hogan – Moreau FYE Week Nine). Over the summer, I idealized the college party scene. On move-in day, there was a gateway party. It was fun, but not as fun as I was expecting. I felt disappointed – what was wrong with me so that I couldn’t enjoy parties that my peers were so clearly enjoying? After beating myself up about it, I reminded myself that things that make me happy don’t necessarily make my classmates happy. I spent all summer hiking, which made me happy beyond words. However, some of my peers spent their summer working with animals or at the beach. While those activities are fun, they don’t fill my cup as they do for my peers. It was important for me to realize that, although parties are fun, they don’t fill my cup, which is perfectly fine. Learning that it is okay to not do whatever everyone else is doing has been really fulfilling and important lesson for me to learn. I have learned it is okay to spend a night in with friends, even if that is not what “most” people are doing. Being my true, authentic self means freely pursuing what truly makes me happy, regardless of what the masses are doing. This semester I have also been pushed outside of my comfort zone in terms of the new experiences and new people I have met. Growing up, I attended a rather homogenous high school. Almost everyone had a similar, Christian background and most everyone’s parents worked at Microsoft. After coming to college, I realized I had taken certain things from my suburban life for granted, assuming that that was just how things worked everywhere. The Week McArthur 3 10 Module included a quote that says, “Hatred often hides in self-righteous conviction – where it can be seen as driving the effort toward a noble goal” (“Wesley Theological Seminary 2012 Commencement Address” by Fr. John Jenkins – Moreau FYE Week Ten). Growing up outside Seattle, there was a very specific, liberal narrative that was pushed – a narrative that villainized the other side, all the people in the “red” states. Coming to school, I knew that going to Indiana was going to be a little bit of a culture change. Not surprisingly, I’ve found people who are wonderful people from all walks of life, from Michigan to New Jersey to Oklahoma. People who, regardless of their political views or backgrounds, are simply awesome humans. The narrative that people outside a certain state or area are “crazy” or “different” is a divisive mechanism used to demonize people who are far more like ourselves than we care to admit. Although it was something I already subconsciously knew, coming to college taught me that a person’s background, political beliefs, or hometown does not really matter. What matters is who they are on the inside and how those experiences have affected and shaped the person they are today. The Week 12 module includes a quote that says, “Moreau’s trust in the cross is the essential component of his legacy” (“Holy Cross and Christian Education” by Fr. James B. King – Moreau Week Twelve). People far and wide remember Moreau for his unwavering trust and faith in God. They don’t remember him for the way he cooked or the way he dressed. Rather, his legacy is his trust in God. Learning from Moreau, I have reflected on the importance of a legacy, especially at college. In college, you meet people all the time. Some you meet in passing, others you spend more intentional time with and really get to know. Regardless, people will always remember something about you. Looking at Moreau’s legacy, I want people to remember me for the way I make them feel. I want people to remember me as the girl who could always find the light in the dark, who was always a trusting friend to listen. While friendships come and go, I McArthur 4 want whoever I get to know and spend time with to feel known and loved when they are around me. Having a goal such as this for college is important, in my opinion. It informs the way you interact with people and the way you approach your college experience. Reflecting on the Moreau modules and my college experience thus far, I can assuredly say that my value on new experiences and going outside my comfort zone has greatly increased. Doing this has led to amazing friends, funny memories, and so much more.