Microsoft Word - capstone integration.docx Prof. Oswald Moreau 29 April 2022 Capstone Integration – Relating Moreau to Someone I Look Up To In order to evaluate how I’m going to pursue a life well lived, examining and critiquing my mission statement is a great way to embark on this journey. My mission statement is as follows: To start this mission statement, the person I want to follow/replicate the most in life is my father (Creating a Mission Statement - Moreau FYE Week 13). He is the most influential person in my life. He is the most hardworking, sensitive, kindest and impactful person I have ever met in my life. I already try my best to replicate him, but doing so is much easier said than done. I feel like this is the best role model for me because of how much I look up to him as his own child. I’m at my best when I replicate my father’s actions. When someone is causing me to feel impatient inside, I do my best to ensure that they have no idea that I am feeling that way. Kindness is everything in life because you never know what someone is going through. I’ve learned this firsthand time and time again. I’m at my worst when I’m impatient with people. I care about relationships more than just about anything in life. I hate giving people the feeling that they are annoying me when they are doing nothing besides simply being themselves. This ties back to the fact that you have no idea what someone is going through. Maybe a tragedy occurred that has them acting a certain way. I am truly my happiest when the people around me are happy. I feed off positivity which is why I do my best to ensure that the vibe is always positive around me. I am aware of what it takes to ensure that a room is full of positivity. I have often been told (and I agree with) that I am much wiser than my age. I feel like I know and understand concepts that a majority of people my age do not. I want to be a person who is constantly happy so that I can make other people’s days. This is exactly what my dad is like. We both care deeply about other people and want the best for everyone. In a world full of hate, ensuring other people’s happiness is critical to both my father and I. My deepest positive emotions come when I see happiness on the faces of those who I love. My greatest gifts are my sympathy and love for people/earth in general. When all is said and done, the most important things in life are those we love and the nature that surrounds us. I love helping those that are less fortunate than me because too many people take their blessed lives for granted. As long as I roam earth, I know that I will never be one of those people. I love to volunteer, donate when I can, and spend time with the less fortunate. My father is the exact same way. While I assert these qualities strongly at most times, I know that I can be better at doing so. When I demonstrate these qualities 24/7 and feel that I'm doing that inside my soul, then I will know that I have completed my personal mission. Until then, I understand that I have work to do. Drawing comparisons to how my father guides his life is a fantastic way to describe how it is that I want to orient my life. There are so many examples from our weekly modules that further emphasize my points. To begin, After Admiral Richard E. Byrd spent nearly five months alone in a shack in the Antarctic, in temperatures that sank to 70 degrees below zero, he emerged convinced that “Half the confusion in the world comes from not knowing how little we need” (“Why we need to slow down our lives” by Pico Iyer - Moreau FYE Week One). This quote is extremely early in the article but it completely stood out to me when thinking about the life that I’m living. I think it also applies to the life that everyone else is living. Admiral Byrd put himself in one of the most miserable and dangerous situations possible. Doing this allowed him to reflect on and evaluate what he really needs in life versus what he doesn’t need. I haven’t ever gone through a drastic experiment like this, but my dad grew up in a third world country and understands what it feels like to financially struggle. The fact that he has now accomplished so much is really remarkable, and he doesn’t ever forget the things that he really needs in life. He taught me this lesson and this is just one of the many things that he has guided me through in life. One thing that I highlight in my mission statement is how my father always wants to help people. He’s a big donor to homeless people and this reminds me of someone I highlighted from week 2. Matt Conaghan. “Matt Conaghan ‘15 - Helping charities grow with the power of spare change” (“Domer Dozen” University of Notre Dame - Moreau FYE Week Two). Donating to someone or a group of people doesn’t always mean you are donating in the form of money. Donating could simply be you investing your time into a certain cause for the better. Matt Conaghan was just one example of what it takes to be selected as a part of the Domer dozen. Conaghan started Change Donations which is an international fundraising platform that helps nonprofits and schools grow with the power of spare change. The platform allows users to round up their purchases to the nearest dollar and donate the difference to their favorite causes. Starting something so beneficial makes it no surprise that Conaghan was selected as a part of the Domer dozen. I see a lot of similarities between Matt’s style and my dad’s. These are two people that I strive to be like and I will pursue their actions over the next 3 years. I think there is a distinct difference between joy and happiness. “What’s the difference between joy and happiness? Happiness changed from moment to moment, day to day. Joy, on the other hand, is much deeper and more central, it comes from within, and it’s a genuine rightness of how one lives one’s life.” (“Three Key Questions” Michael Himes - Moreau FYE Week Three). This quote explains that joy is much deeper than happiness. I believe my dad illustrates joy because of who he is as a human. The actions that he persists. Seeing this, I realize what I need to do in order to be full of joy. Happiness will come and go, but joy lasts for much longer. Just by being a good person I think I can achieve pure joy. In order to live a life well lived, planning is absolutely involved. My dad is a fantastic planner, and I think this not only contributes to a well lived life, but also makes him happier in general. I think in these next three years I will need to work on my planning for sure. “Planning your career is much like planning for a trip. There are many details and decisions to make and it requires a lot of exploration and research. It’s not a one-step process.” (“Navigating Your Career Journey” Meruelo Family Center for Career Development - Moreau FYE Week Four). I love this quote regarding planning your career, and I believe that this quote is very applicable to many other situations. Planning something like a career is not something that you can half-fast or put very little effort into. It is something that one works on for months and months at a time. There are so many little things that go into planning a career that require so much time in itself. Because of this, I believe that planning has a lot to do with a life well-lived. Career planning is just one example of how planning is required for one’s new journey of any type in life. Week 5 was big for me because this week emphasized communication. I was able to talk to my mom, and we’ve had communication issues throughout our life, so being able to connect with her was something that I will forever cherish. Week 5’s activity was something much better than a QQC in my opinion. Maybe I’m just saying that because it was something different. I loved being able to connect with my mom over these questions, so I think that has a big influence on me liking this activity better. The conservation with my mom was extremely deep and reflective. When I asked her what I value and desire the most in life, she responded with: the people who you are closest to. I agreed with this statement because I really do value the people closest to me. I look to have their backs and always make sure that they are doing alright. For the in my zone question my mom said that she has seen me the most locked in when I’ve been grinding in high school. I would spend the whole day doing homework sometimes which demonstrated my commitment and determination. My goal was to always get into the best university possible. Hearing my mom’s responses to the questions really made me become self- aware of myself even more. I remember all the events that we talked about, it was just very refreshing to think and reflect on them. For something that was difficult to say but important for me to hear was that I really should talk to my sister more. I think it was hard to say because my mom knows I really value my relationship with my sister so she didn’t want to hurt my feelings. I was really glad she told me because it is definitely something I want to work on now that I’m conscious about it. I didn’t realize that I wasn’t talking to her enough until my mother told me. I think week 6 also taught me a great deal about how to think in the future. Mental health is massive and breaking down the simpler concepts are essential in dissecting the roots of our happiness and sadness. For example, thinking about why we are sad is advice that we often receive. We shouldn’t think about why we’re sad, but rather should consider what could make us feel better. “Another reason that asking why is not always so beneficial is the negative impact it can have on our overall mental health. In one study, after British university students failed what they were told was an intelligence test, they were asked to write about why they felt the way they did. Compared to a control group, they were more depressed immediately afterward, and these negative effects persisted 12 hours later. Asking why appeared to cause the participants to fixate on their problems and place blame instead of moving forward in a healthy and productive way.” (“The Right Way to be Introspective (Yes, There’s a Wrong Way)” Tasha Eurich - Moreau FYE Week Six). It doesn’t surprise me at all that focusing on the why would lead to additional depression in the situation. Imagine you are sad about something. Instead of just moving forward, you decide to think about why it is that you are sad. Of course, this will make you more sad than anything else. Figuring out the root of the problem makes you think about the saddening thing more which in turn makes you depressed. That’s the link between that and the overall mental health seeing a decrease. I think that’s why it is best to try and forget why you are sad and instead just do your best to move forward. This is advice that I can use/give for the rest of my life. If there’s one thing that my dad taught me, it is that “Life is not time merely passing by, life is about interactions.” (“Why the Only Future Worth Building Includes Everyone” Pope Francis - Moreau FYE Week 7). Based on how my dad touches the lives of others, and based on how connected he is, these words couldn’t be more accurate. I have always taken these words to heart, and I will forever cherish them. In Week 8 I composed my own eulogy regarding my definition of a life well lived. In this eulogy I did the most self-reflection that I think I’ve ever done in my life. I went back to the early stages of my life, and connected it full circle to where I am now. Before this eulogy I don’t think I was a very reflective person whatsoever. I think in order to be successful and happy in life, self-reflection is key. My dad tells me about how he likes to sit and reflect a lot on his own and the treasures that come with doing so. "Accompaniment is an elastic term. It has a basic, everyday meaning,” Farmer wrote in an article on accompaniment published in Foreign Affairs. “To accompany someone is to go somewhere 2 with him or her, to break bread together, to be present on a journey with a beginning and an end.” (“Teaching Accompaniment: A Learning Journey Together” Professor Steve Reifenberg - Moreau FYE Week Nine). This quote is extremely insightful because it provides a firm definition of what it means to accompany someone. Essentially, truly accompanying someone means that you are with them through the entire journey. You’re an outlet of loyalty to someone and go through thick and thin with them. My father taught me to always accompany people especially when they are struggling. I’ve always been the kid to hang out with and make them feel better. I think this trait of accompaniment is something that will help me a lot in life. One thing about my dad is that he doesn’t care at all about what people think about him. This allows him to be the purest form of himself. This is something that I’ve struggled with, and something that I continue to learn. I think continuing to learn to not care what people think about you will serve very well in the future. “I think you don’t believe God loves you because you don’t love yourself,” he told me. “You don’t believe you can be loved. You think if people knew the real you, they wouldn’t love you either.” (“Growing up Gay and Catholic” Jacob Walsh - Moreau FYE Week Ten). This example is with accepting homosexuality, but this quote really applies to so many situations. People come up with reasons in their head as to why they won’t be loved by certain people just because they are being themselves. This is extremely saddening because society is so ruthless that people are scared to be themselves. In no world should people not want to be themselves because they are scared of what others will think of them and how they will be judged. The truth is God loves everyone who follows good morals and lives their life to the fullest while blooming. Being gay has absolutely nothing to do with the morals of a human being no matter what anyone else says. It’s really just super sad. I think one thing my dad and I could both work on is growing in wisdom. This was a concept highlighted in week 10. I think we are both pretty stubborn which is why we like hanging out around people that share the same views as us. We are both conflict free people which is why it makes sense. Week 10 taught me that you need an opposition in order to grow in wisdom. “In surrounding ourselves with people that agree with us, we’re losing our sense of how someone might reasonably disagree.” (“How to Avoid an Echo Chamber” Dr. Paul Blaschko - Moreau FYE Week Eleven). This statement couldn’t be further from the truth. It sure seems a lot more fun when you surround yourself with people who agree with you all the time. This is because if everyone agrees with each other, then there is no debate or arguments amongst those who you are with. This usually ensures a smoother gathering with less conflict. This makes it especially difficult to hear a counterargument to whatever point you are trying to make. This is because you’re so used to being around people who never disagree with you that you don’t like hearing when someone has something else to say. Week 12 emphasized how we can grow in our courage to act. What will it take? This is another area that I think my dad could polish. I’m very courageous in sticking up for what I believe in. I think this will help me a lot in the future as well. “It is urgent that we recognize that human rights are under threat all around the world, including here in the United States.” (“I am George Floyd. Except, I can breathe. And I can do something” Marcus Cole - Moreau FYE Week 12). I love this quote because the human rights issues in the United States hadn’t been talked about enough until 2020. People outside of the United States just assume that human rights in this country aren’t under threat because we run a smooth democracy. People don’t really understand what black people in the United States have to deal with. We know human rights are in danger in countries such as China, Korea, Russia and other countries. The United States deals with our own issues as well, and people need to start recognizing this. I started this Capstone Integration with my personal mission statement in order to set the foundation for the rest of the topics that I was going to dissect. I truly believe that following my father’s footsteps is the most effective way for me to live the life that I want to live. He truly cherishes every important value, and having him as my role model is something so special that words can’t even explain. If I can live with half the morals that he lives with, I know my future will be phenomenal. He truly is such a special character in my life. I make sure to let him know that by talking to him every day and explaining my gratitude and appreciation for his continuous presence in my life. In terms of how I can continue to grow in my time here as a student at ND is as simple as follows: I have the answers on this document. Every week I spent on Moreau was another hour (or two) that I grew exponentially as a person. This assignment reminds me a lot of a final portfolio where you put everything in one document from the whole semester. I’m going to save this sheet and use it every year that I’m here. Everything I need to read about continuing to grow as a person is right in front of my eyes. I just need to embrace it and continue to do the work myself.