Professor Thigpen Moreau 14 October 2021 My Growth at Notre Dame Throughout my time that I will spend at Notre Dame, I believe that I am searching for relationships with people that accept me for who I am completely. I am searching for friends that give me a sense of belonging, which is something I did not find as much as I would have liked to in high school. During week one, we discussed how to search for relationships that give love and provide a sense of belonging. One key piece of advice that Dr. Brené Brown gave spoke to the quality that a person needs in order to form these relationships: self-confidence. “The people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they’re worthy of love and belonging. That’s it. They believe they’re worthy” (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown- Moreau FYE Week One). It is understandable to have doubt in oneself at times as everyone has insecurities that they can be self-conscious of. But it is important to remember that in order to receive a sense of belonging, a person needs to feel like they deserve to feel welcomed and loved. In order to forge life-giving relationships, I believe that I must learn from the “Adam 2” side of my personality, as David Brooks discusses in his Ted Talk. During Brooks’ Ted Talk, he discusses the two sides that every person has to their personality. In his talk, Adam 1 is described as someone who is hungry for success. Adam 2 is described as the loving and faithful part of a person. He claims that often these sides are at war with one another; that people tend to only focus on Adam 1 and get caught up in the tangible successes of life (“Should You Live for Your Resume or Your Eulogy?” by David Brooks- Moreau FYE Week 2). Also, a person tends to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&list=PLmiPsabET-W_hjesjTZaITh2s1WbM-Kd0&index=3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM dismiss the Adam 2 side of their personality because essentially, in order to grow as a person, one must fail. This idea is important when forming new relationships like I am doing currently in my first year at Notre Dame. It is critical to remember that failure is inevitable and the main idea a person must focus on is how to learn from the experience. To go off this idea of forming relationships, it is also important to know when you are in a bad or unhealthy relationship. In the article “5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship,” author Olivia Taylor centers her second idea or “sign” around listening. To talk about this idea, she opens with the quote “attention is one of the rarest forms of love” (“5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship” by Olivia Taylor- Moreau FYE Week 4). One of the most aggravating things to deal with in a friendship is the feeling that what you are saying is not valued by the other person, that they aren’t even listening to what you have to say. This article teaches its readers that if you find yourself in this situation a lot in a certain friendship, it may be a good idea to either talk to the friend about it or to end the friendship. While sometimes it can be very difficult to end a relationship with someone you care about, it is critical that a person puts their own health and well-being first. One way that I believe I can grow as a person during my time at Notre dame is taking advantage of the heavy presence of faith on campus. Coming from a public school, I never had the opportunity to take religion or theology classes as part of my curriculum. Also, I never had the chance to experience the support system that having faith on campus provides for students as it does at Notre Dame. When discussing faith at Notre Dame, we were given the chance to listen to Father Pete discuss the role of faith in a person’s life. Beginning with a knot analogy, Father Pete gave the advice of looking at every problem, or knot, differently. He discussed how every problem is different, so one should remember that the solution will also be different (“The Role https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcZMeqWWOIs of Faith in Our Story” by Fr. Pete McCormick- Moreau FYE Week 3). While every problem and solution may be different, though, it is always helpful and important to have a sense of hope when faced with obstacles. This is where practicing faith or simply interacting with the faith community on campus can help to keep a sense of hope that every challenge can be conquered. In conjunction with the presence of faith on campus, something that is unique about Notre Dame is that they are interested in educating every person as a student and as a person. Kevin Grove discussed this idea in his video talking about a Notre Dame student’s holy cross education. Grove claims that “a catholic education means that every discipline that searches for truth shares in that final and most beautiful truth that calls us to serve each other in love” (“Two Notre Dames: Your Holy Cross Education” by Kevin Grove- Moreau FYE Week 5). When choosing to go to Notre Dame, one of the things that I valued most about the university is that they value educating you as a person just as much, if not more, than educating you through knowledge in classes. While classes such as calculus and accounting focus more on educating my mind, classes such as theology and Moreau have a focus on educating the heart as well. Attending public schools my whole life, I have never been exposed to this way of thinking or educating inside the classroom. It was expected that every person learned these valuable lessons from home or sometimes activities outside of the classroom. While it true that I have learned many important lessons from my parents, there is something truly different and special about learning these lessons with fellow classmates. One thing that I have appreciated from getting to know people at Notre Dame is how different everyone’s background is. While it is refreshing now to be exposed to so many different cultures and lifestyles, I was not exposed to this much diversity as a child. In the Ted Talk “The Danger of a Single Story,” speaker Chiramanda Ngozi Adichie talks about the massive effects https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcZMeqWWOIs https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=859bc1a8-0d0f-4eb4-a1c1-d0a45c429187 https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=859bc1a8-0d0f-4eb4-a1c1-d0a45c429187 that stories and the specific stories we are exposed to have on our perspective. The story that resonated with me in her Ted Talk was when she spoke about her experience at an American university being from Africa. When Adichie arrived at college, her roommate was surprised that Adichie did not fit the poor and uncivilized stereotype that American literature tends to depict about Africans (“Danger of a Single Story” by Chiramanda Ngozi Adichie- Moreau FYE Week 7). Listening to Adichie’s story emphasizes the point to not be as closed-minded. While we cannot help what diversity, or lack thereof, we have been exposed to as children, a person should keep an open mind and welcome diversity. For week six, we were given the opportunity to write a poem about where we come from and our personal stories. Writing this poem gave me the chance to reflect on how my life at home and upbringing has affected my first months at Notre Dame. The opportunities I was given throughout high school combined with the support and love from my family eventually lead me to have the opportunity to attend Notre Dame. And while I have only been here for a few short months, I have learned so many valuable lessons both in Moreau and outside of the classroom that I will carry with me during my time at Notre Dame and life afterwards. https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story