eulogy




3/1/21

Nhat Nguyen

Moreau

  Eulogy draft

Empathy.

One of the most important human traits to have in life is arguably empathy – regard for

others’ emotions and the ability to connect and relate to the people around you, regardless of the

situation or the context. By providing support and always showing up for others, we not only

enrich the lives of others but also our own life (and enrichment is a step on the path to a fulfilling

and well-lived life)

 embodied the trait of empathy wholeheartedly throughout her entire life. As

a scholar, she loved the field of psychology and learning why and how the brain works the way it

does while developing an interest in the treatment of mental health issues and disorders. As a

friend, she was devoted to being a support system for everyone and gained the title of

“advice-giver”. As a wife, she prioritized communication and being a sense of calm and comfort

in an ever-changing world for her husband. And as a mother, daughter, and sister, she aimed to

fill her family’s life with joy and everlasting laughter while always being someone to count on.

She loved to laugh, be with her loved ones, sing, and crack jokes. She was an avid scientist – one

of the top child psychopathologists in the country and spent her life studying infant brains while

working along dedicated colleagues. But how did she get here in the first place?



Skye was born in a small town in England and grew up surrounded by familiar loved ones and

friends. She was a lover of music because she was raised by a talented and musical father, and

for a while believed that was what she wanted to do in life. However, she remembers and reflects

on a time during her lower school class when a teacher asked her and her peers, “what do you

want to be when you grow up?”. Skye, feeling instantly overwhelmed about the looming future

ahead of her, decided to take a step back and think about the thing she wanted to do in life –

therefore, starting a sort of juvenile bucket list. By taking a step back and constantly looking at

the bigger picture, Skye was able to organize her growing up in a way that allowed her to explore

her passions and crafts. In week 1 of the Moreau First Year Experience, we explored the question

what life am I living? and read an article by Pico Iyer on slowing down and taking a step back

during our daily routines. Iyer says, “It’s only by stepping farther back and standing still that we

can begin to see what that canvas  (which is our life) really means, and to take in the larger

picture” (Iyer). Iyer describes life as a canvas, which is a great way to put it – we are the painters

of our own canvases, and Skye was able to try every single color to find which painting she liked

best. Although Skye wished she could have done this more often, she was able to gain a lot out

of simple activities by focusing on the bigger goals at hand while simultaneously being present

in the moment.

Skye moved to America at age seven, and remembers how difficult it was to leave her

childhood friends behind and pack up with her family to move to a new country. However, she

transitioned into first grade at Princeton Day School and loved the new atmosphere. At PDS, she

learned to balance family, schoolwork, sports, extracurriculars, homework, and studying all at

once, and by high school, she had really gotten into the flow of things. One thing she found

challenging, however, was balancing family life with school. In week 2, we learned the



extraordinary story of Father Ted Hesburgh and his drive for equality and passion for social

change. During his documentary, we were introduced to Hesburgh’s personal life and how often

he was away from home – obviously, balancing his mission with being there for his family all the

time was a complex and often complicated reality. When describing Hesburgh, his sibling

remarked, “Father Hesburgh and the U.S. commissioner on civil rights – their leadership is, in

many ways, when this country decided that we’re not going to go backwards. We’re going to go

forwards...we were all very proud of what he was accomplishing, but during that period, our

family saw very little of him” (Hesburgh). This quote shows that when we dedicate ourselves to

our crafts, it’s hard to always make time for those closest to us. Skye really related to this theme,

as she often found herself spending late nights at school with extracurriculars or at sports games

– but through trial and error she learned the best ways to balance out her activities and the things

that truly inspired a life well lived for her.

When Skye got accepted to the University of Notre Dame, she was absolutely thrilled.

She was about to embark on an adventure while following in the footsteps of her older brother

and paving a path for her children and grandchildren. Following along with her everchanging

goals, when picking a major, Skye took days pondering what she wanted to study. She gathered a

list of her strengths and weaknesses and focused on her own moments of joy, and decided on

psychology. In week 3, we learned about asking important questions on a quest to determining

what fulfills us. Father Michael Himes writes, “One way into that [determing what to do with

your life] is to ask the questions:1) What gives you joy? 2) What are you really good at? 3) What

do the people around you really need?” (Himes). These questions definitely crossed Skye’s mind

as she decided on her major and path for the next four years, and helped to smoothly guide her

transition into college. Additionally, part of choosing her major was deciding on a career path,



which Skye had no clue for most of her college experience as she instead loved exploring and

branching out. In week 4, we learned about ways to choose a career and how to avoid burnout. In

the Undergrad web page, one quote sticks out especially, “The idea is that the best career choices

for a person are those that allow him/her to implement as many part of his/her self-concept as

possible. If a person only focuses on one or two parts of his/her self-concept for a career, that

person will eventually hit a wall.  If someone focuses only on skill, for example, he/she may

realize that that interest is lacking or alignment with values or personality is off” (ND Undergrad

Center). This is an important thing to consider, hence why Skye always felt it was important to

use your strengths to strengthen your weaknesses and to not rely on one quality to carry you in

your career – therefore, she went into the healthcare field where science, care, and compassion

mix every day.

If you ask those around her, many will say that Skye’s greatest weakness was the pressure

she put on herself. She was a perfectionist in so many aspects, and while she readily gave love to

those around her, it seemed to lack when she looked at her own life and accomplishments. In a

conversation with her mother, the question “what is something that is difficult to say but

important for me to hear” (Moreau Discernment Activity) was posed. Ms. MacInnes shared with

Skye that Skye often stayed within the comfort of her own space and was often too scared to let

loose of the opinions of others. Skye was an avid observer, but this was a hindrance when it

came to focusing on herself and her own growth and plan, as Skye avoided disappointing others

and instead played it safe in many aspects of her life, which she voiced that she regretted later.

This relates to week 7 of FYE, in which we challenged our own perspectives by finding personal

obstacles. For Skye, her biggest personal obstacle was thinking about herself without taking time

to truly know herself. In a TED article, author Eurich explains, “University of Sydney



psychologist Anthony M. Grant discovered that people who possess greater insight — which he

defines as an intuitive understanding of ourselves — enjoy stronger relationships, a clearer sense

of purpose and greater well-being, self-acceptance and happiness. Similar studies have shown

that people high in insight feel more in control of their lives, show more dramatic personal

growth, enjoy better relationships and feel calmer and more content. However, Grant and others

have also come to realize there’s no relationship between introspection and insight. This means

that the act of thinking about ourselves isn’t necessarily correlated with knowing ourselves”

(Eurich). By constantly thinking about others and how they viewed her, Skye wasted a lot of her

time worrying about things instead of focusing on herself and having her best interests at heart.

The one thing Skye was incredibly grateful for was the relationships she made at high

school, at Notre Dame, and after graduation through her job and family. Having support from

others and different sorts of relationships with many different people helped sustain and

interesting and fulfilling life for Skye, and pushed her to be the best version of herself. In week

7, we learned of the importance of friendships and letting others into our jurisdictions. One

article writes, ““Except for the fact that we all need to see that we are in each other’s

jurisdictions, spheres of acceptance – only, all the time. And yet, there are lines that get drawn,

and barriers erected, meant only to exclude. Allowing folks into my jurisdiction requires that I

dismantle what I have set up to keep them out” (Boyle). By letting her guard down and letting

others into her jurisdiction, Skye lived out a fulfilling life – one with ups and downs (no doubt)

but one of laughter, happiness, and success.

Although she is gone today, we should live for Skye by taking time to think about others

and putting others before ourselves like she would have. She knew how much she was loved, and



we know she’s smiling down at us right now, laughing and playing with her beloved golden

retriever, Ceilidh. Skye, you’ll be missed but remembered and loved so greatly. Thank you.