Integration Two- My Journey


My Journey

Four months ago, I was still at home, slowly saying goodbye to my friends as they left for
colleges across the country and anxiously awaiting leaving myself. After being stuck at home for
nearly two years, I was welcoming the chance for a change of setting. But I was also nervous. I
had never been on my own for more than a week. My family has always been very close and an
important pillar in my life. I had always known that at the end of the day I was able to come
home to my family and no matter what happened during my day, they would help me through it.
While I knew that I would still be able to call them at college, it wasn’t going to be the same as
being with them. College was the next step in my journey and while I was excited to go, I knew
that my life was going to change and honestly I was scared of that change.

I came to college with a few expectations already set in my mind. I expected that there
was going to be a lot more freedom of choices. I expected a higher rigor of classes and an
increase in my workload compared to high school. I expected to meet people from across the
country all with unique backgrounds and personalities. Bringing these expectations to college
ultimately shaped my college experience because I was actively looking for them to be met.

At college I have definitely encountered a significant increase in the degree of freedom
that I have. I was able to choose my own classes, which allowed me to take microeconomics. A
class that wasn’t for my major or a core requirement, but something that I was genuinely
interested in. This freedom also applied to what I did outside of class. What clubs and activities I
wanted to get involved with. I started working at the rock wall and was able to finally find more
time to climb, something that I had always wanted to get into. However, I quickly learned that
with more freedom comes more responsibility. I had to make sure that I found time for meals,
working out, and making sure that I still got enough sleep.

Going to Notre Dame, I knew that I was going to find a very high academic rigor of
classes. I definitely encountered this in all of my classes. The amount of work is a lot more than
what I experienced in high school and the actual material in class is a lot more in depth. At first I
found that I was really struggling in a few of my classes. This definitely didn’t help with my
imposter syndrome. When I got my test scores back and started getting the first Bs and Cs of
my life, I felt like I really didn’t belong. Looking back, I think that part of what I was doing was
using imposter syndrome as almost a shield itself. In thinking “oh it's ok that I’m not doing well
because I shouldn’t even be here”. However throughout the semester I learned that was not the
case. A big wake up call for me was during Week 9 of Moreau. When we discussed imposter
syndrome in class I realized that it was a common thought, but that didn’t make it true. In
Elizabeth Cox’s TEDtalk, she talks about different strategies to combat the feeling of imposter
syndrome, one of which being to talk about it rather than to hold it all in. (What is Imposter
Syndrome? by Elizabeth Cox - Moreau FYE Week Nine). With this advice I was able to
positively respond to my imposter syndrome and I think I’ve come a long way to the point where
I feel much better about the fact that I deserve to be where I am.



One thing that I hoped to encounter at college was a diverse range of perspectives from
my peers. During my transition from middle school to high school, I had gone from a small class
of around 60 predominantly white students to a class of nearly 600 that was very ethnically
diverse. This had a huge impact on shaping who I am and I learned the importance of diversity.
Coming to Notre Dame, I was honestly a little worried about the diversity, as it is a religious
private college that is predominantly white. During Week 10 of Moreau we read an article on
whether or not catholic schools should teach critical race theory (Should Catholic Schools Teach
Critical Race Theory?” by Christopher J. Devron - Moreau FYE Week Ten). At this point, my
fears had thankfully been put to rest as I had been able to meet students from all over with all
different backgrounds and a wide range of perspectives, but the article supported my original
fear or the lack of diversity and acceptance at catholic school.

One thing that I encountered at Notre Dame, that I was not expecting, was the strong
sense of community. Right from the start during welcome week when everyone was saying,
“welcome home” I feel like a community and the idea of the Notre Dame community has been
emphasised at every opportunity, almost to the point where it would seem excessive to
someone looking from the outside. However, now that I’ve all but finished my first semester
here, I know that the push of the Notre Dame community was genuine. In Week 11 of Moreau,
we read Parker Palmer’s Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community, while at first this may just
seem like another way to promote community, the article itself offers critical views on community
and how community is much more than just what is generally promoted (Thirteen Ways of
Looking at Community by Parker Palmer - Moreau FYE Week Eleven) . This article allowed me
to look more critically at the community being promoted to us at Notre Dame, and it helped me
ultimately decide that the community was genuine.

Everything that I have encountered thus far at Notre Dame has given my new
expectations for not only next semester, but the next four years and honestly I also have
expectations beyond college that were shaped during my first semester here. One thing that all
of these new expectations have in common is that they reflect my hopefulness of my future at
Notre Dame and beyond. Week 12 of Moreau was all about encountering hope. After reading
the hope section of the Holy Cross and Christian Education paper, I came to the same
conclusion of the importance of hope that Moreau himself had come to (Hope - Holy Cross and
Christian Education by Father James King - Moreau FYE Week Twelve). Hope is necessary in
order to give meaning to the things we do and to keep moving forward and that is why I am
hopeful about my next four years at Notre Dame.



Week 9- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQUxL4Jm1Lo

Week 10-
https://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2021/06/03/critical-race-theory-catholic-high-schools-bla
ck-lives-matter-240792

Week 11- http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/

Week 12- https://campusministry.nd.edu/assets/105621/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQUxL4Jm1Lo
https://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2021/06/03/critical-race-theory-catholic-high-schools-black-lives-matter-240792
https://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2021/06/03/critical-race-theory-catholic-high-schools-black-lives-matter-240792
http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/
https://campusministry.nd.edu/assets/105621/