Integration Two_FRONING Froning 1 The Trials of Change “Nothing endures but change.” ¹ During my college transition, I have been challenged in four pillars of my identity: faith, community relationships, personal expectations, and core values. Each of these challenges has induced personal growth, and from these lessons, I can build a stronger personal identity. My faith in myself and God has been challenged by struggles that caused me strife and hardship, but each struggle has yielded a rea�rmation of my belief and deepened my connection to God. To be frank, college is harder than high school. There’s a fair portion of sleepless nights, unhappy results, and “why me” moments that arise, and in these moments it’s been easy to lose faith or feel (relatively) forsaken. College has challenged my discipline more than anything so far, in part because of the lack of a family support system (a constant presence since birth). However, these are the moments that Our Father Below (as Screwtape describes) seeks to tempt us away from God and belief in our abilities (“The Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis - Moreau FYE Week Twelve). It is in these moments that discipline is forged, and it is through hope in God that I have solidi�ed my discipline. By tapping into my connection with God, and calling on him for assistance in my strife, I can overcome these challenges and temptations (much to the dismay of Screwtape). Through hardship (every late night, every hour spent studying, every congested cough, every sore muscle) I feel my relationship with God deepening, to the point where I feel more connected to the world around me than at times before. My community relationships have been challenged by the nature of the situation: a new environment �lled with new people, but the university environment has allowed me to forge new relationships and support my communities. Stepping foot on campus at �rst felt like stepping into a new world: one I have only ever been on the outside of. Being thrust into this new world presented di�culties in my network (it’s been a bit since I have felt pressure to build a new support system), and the lack of family made me feel more isolated than I have before. As interesting as meeting people from all walks of life is, believe it or not, it has been a culture shock: just knowing about a culture, versus living with someone from that culture has been shaking to my sense of community. However, implementing faith into my community as Christopher Devron describes has allowed me to better realize that “di�erences of race, language and culture [are] not…obstacles to unity” (“Should Catholic Schools Teach Critical Race Theory” by Christopher Devron - Moreau FYE Week Ten), but rather ways to more e�ectively understand our universal humanism: we’re in it together. This policy has let me connect with people more e�ectively because it installs a baseline assumption: whoever the other person is, they will support me. Then, to transcend this assumption to the larger community, I can set aside my ego and “embrac[e] those [I] perceive as…enemy” (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Community” by Parker Palmer - Moreau FYE Week Eleven), returning the policy, and support them in ¹ quote from Heraclitus “the Obscure”, an Ancient Greek Philosopher https://www.thespiritlife.net/facets/81-warfare/warfare-publications/1883-chapter-8-the-screwtape-letters-cs-lewis https://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2021/06/03/critical-race-theory-catholic-high-schools-black-lives-matter-240792 https://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2021/06/03/critical-race-theory-catholic-high-schools-black-lives-matter-240792 http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/ http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/ Froning 2 their transition, thus creating a stronger community of mutual support. This community, one whose foundation is mutual support and respect, allows us all to thrive and �ourish, overcoming the barriers we as a people face. My expectations of life have been challenged by di�erent aspects of a new life at college, but these challenges help temper and amend my expectations to healthier ones. Coming into Notre Dame, friends, family, and media had instilled a long list of expectations for me: it will be the best time of your life, perfect test scores mean a good job, etc. Even though at the time I knew that the only expectations I should have are the ones I set, undoubtedly the people close to us in our lives can seep into these personal expectations. So, to some degree, I felt the pressure to “live up” to other people’s college experiences. However, hearing and discussing with other students the same pressures has shown me how ridiculous they are; to adopt those would be to sacri�ce my power. More speci�cally, one of my closest relationships showed me the damage of the simple question “It’s supposed to be the time of your life, right?” (“Advice From a Formerly Lonely College Student” by Emery Bergmann - Moreau FYE Week Nine), as it consumed and hurt them to the point of mental collapse. Similar to Emery, I had to realize that the only expectation I should have is to be happy. While there is still progress to be made (naturally, it's hard to break down a false narrative echoed in my head so many times), I’m proud to see my growth in action: my stress is reduced, experiences feel more fun, and I get to focus on my passions more than my academics. My core values have been challenged by the introduction of many other peoples’ values, but these contrasts have reinforced and grown my core values. Despite the �rmness I felt in my core beliefs (particularly the importance of truth and honest relationships), the variety and presence of so many drastically di�erent values naturally made me question my core values: is what I believed what I should believe? Every new person comes with a di�erent life story, and with those experiences come new values and principles by which they guide their life. At times it can be overwhelming, and instill a false sense of imposter syndrome (“What is Imposter Syndrome? TED-Talks” by Elizabeth Cox - Moreau FYE Week Nine), making me question whether my current value set belongs with me at Notre Dame. However, it is for exactly that reason that I found a rea�rmation in my core values: my life story has been guided by the principles I’ve naturally found for myself over time. The purpose of going to Notre Dame is to foster these values into their best version and thus be true to myself. My experiences continually build onto my core values, exploring new areas and seeing di�erent perspectives. Overall, my core values have strengthened through this belief, and my personal growth, in my mind, has been reframed to expand upon my core values, not change them. Through the combination of the di�erent growths induced by challenges to my pillars of faith, community relationships, personal expectations, and core values, my identity has solidi�ed and led to a stronger sense of self-belonging and con�dence. My experiences and lessons from all the challenges I have and will continue to face allow me to grow as a person. As a result, I feel my sense of personal https://www.today.com/parents/freshman-s-video-shows-how-lonely-college-can-be-t117696 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQUxL4Jm1Lo Froning 3 identity strengthening, and I feel as if I’m “growing into” myself and discovering the life I want to live, which is something I’ve notoriously struggled with in the past (beyond the bare minimum “a good one”). I fully recognize this is an ongoing process, and one I’m happy to continue undertaking to cultivate myself. In the end, I’m thankful for the challenges I’ve faced so far because of the opportunities to grow they provide me, and I look forward to the challenges on the horizon.