Week 13 Integration 2


Discovering Claire


During the second half of my first semester at Notre Dame, I have been able to fully
adjust to my new home and branch out on campus. The ideas and decisions that were unclear to
me earlier in the semester have now become clear.

The expectations that I set when entering college have decreased in importance. When I
first arrived at Notre Dame, I expected that I would find my place and make friends quickly.
However, during my first few weeks, most of my interactions with other people never went past
basic introductions. As a result, I became frustrated and tried to force myself to socialize with
others all the time. This caused me to become even more frustrated with myself because I felt
like I was the reason why no one wanted to be friends with me. However, after reading the article
“Advice From a Formerly Lonely College Student” and discussing it with my classmates in
Moreau, I realized that other students also felt the same way. Moreover, I recognized “how
ridiculous my expectations were for my first year” (Advice from a Formerly Lonely College
Student by Emery Bergmann - Moreau FYE Week 9). Instead of trying to fulfill my expectations,
I am working on doing things I actually want to do during my time at college, and I have found
that it is easier to make friends when I am not constantly trying to form friendships. As I enter a
new semester, I plan on not bringing many irrational expectations that will only result in
disappointment.

Throughout this semester, my mental health and wellbeing have increased in importance
more than academics. The discussion in class on imposter syndrome and brokenness gave me
perspective on the importance of personal wellbeing. I learned that other students also had
similar thoughts that they were not good enough or that everyone else was always doing better. I
realized that the pressure I put on myself for “[not] meet[ing] the expectations [I set for myself]”
was not worth it ("What is Imposter Syndrome? by Elizabeth Cox - Moreau FYE Week 9). As a
result, I have started to give myself breaks and time to do things I enjoy. For example, I have
tried to go to swim club practices at least twice a week. The process of putting less emphasis on
my grades and placing importance on my mental health parallels the art form “kintsugi”
("Women Find Healing Through Kintsugi Workshop" by Grotto, Kirsten Helgeson - Moreau
FYE Week 10). The negative effects of imposter syndrome on my mental health are the broken
pieces of pottery, while the recognition of my imposter syndrome and healing of my mental
health is like putting the pieces of pottery back together. However, I am still working on my
healing process and overcoming imposter syndrome because self-doubt still creeps in sometimes.

One of the choices I struggled to make this semester was whether I wanted to stay in the
Honors Program or leave. Throughout the semester, I have gained greater clarity on my decision.
During the first two months of the semester, I wanted to leave the program immediately because
I felt out of place in the Honors classes. The honors classes are all seminars, so it required me to
do a lot of readings and participate in class discussions. Being in the seminar-based classes put
me “beyond [my] comfort zone” (Hope - Holy Cross and Christian Education by Fr. James B.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/09/well/family/advice-from-a-formerly-lonely-college-student.html
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/09/well/family/advice-from-a-formerly-lonely-college-student.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQUxL4Jm1Lo
https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/heal/find-healing-through-kintsugi-art/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau
https://campusministry.nd.edu/assets/105621/


King, C.S.C. - Moreau FYE Week 12) because I had never experienced learning based on
discussion rather than lectures which is what I am familiar and comfortable with. I talked with
my advisor about wanting to leave the program and she supported my decision, but also
encouraged me to stay in the honors classes a little longer to see if I would start to enjoy them.
As the semester progressed, I worked on being more engaged in class discussions and met with
my professors. Now, looking back at how I felt at the beginning of the semester I realized that I
was just not used to a new way of learning. I think that by putting yourself outside of your
comfort zone you can discover new things about yourself because my honors classes are now my
favorite classes. This past week, I met with my advisor and decided to stay in the Honors
program. I think that by staying in the program I will continue to be challenged to learn outside
of my comfort zone.

How can diversity be fostered at Notre Dame without being forced? I was prompted by
Week 11’s content to ask this question. At Notre Dame, there are students from all over the
world, which allows us to all gain “exposure and access to different viewpoints and life
experience” ("Diversity Matters! by Prof. Agustin Fuentes - Moreau FYE Week 11) from
interacting with other students, yet I have noticed that biases and stereotypes have not changed
among students. During my time at Notre Dame so far, I have encountered instances where I feel
like I am unacknowledged in certain situations. At an Asian American Association club meeting,
I talked about how I felt ignored sometimes and found out many others felt the same way. I
believe that other students are not purposely ignoring or being unreceptive to me, instead I think
that the difference between my life experience and theirs makes them uncomfortable, so they
resort to familiarity: only interacting with students with similar backgrounds. Based on these
reflections, I think that the answer to my question is: “receptivity involves inner work” (
"Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community by Parker J. Palmer - Moureau FYE Week 11). In
order to foster an environment where diversity can be maintained, the students and faculty of
Notre Dame need to be open to exposing themselves to different perspectives and have the
willingness to change their biases or preconceived ideas. In my four years at Notre Dame, I hope
to help people recognize that diversity is not just the state where there are people of various
backgrounds, instead it is the willingness of an entire community to accept people of different
backgrounds and make them feel like they belong.

College has been a time of self-discovery for me. I have learned new things academically
and about myself in just one semester. I hope I can continue this journey of self-discovery and
improve myself.

https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=d14a0472-9c0e-44ea-bd39-53c67ee1d436
http://couragerenewal.org/parker/writings/13-ways-of-looking-at-community/