Microsoft Word - Week 8 - Integration Three.docx A Reflection of the Past I am a woman who constantly looked for opportunities. I would always be busy doing something, whether it was work, being with friends, or just other things I could take care of. I would try my best to help my friends when needed and would do everything I could to help the people around me. Sometimes, I would get too caught up with everything to the point where I would forget to take time for myself. “The need for an empty space, a pause, is something we have all felt in our bones; it’s the rest in a piece of music that gives it resonance and shape” (“Why We Need to Slow Down Our Lives” by Pico lyer, TED – Moreau FYE Week One). Once I remind myself of this quote, I would encourage myself to slow down and to take time for myself. Back to freshman year of undergraduate at Notre Dame, time went by so fast and I would forget to take some time to rest. Before I knew it, I would easily get mentally and physically exhausted. This was something that I was forced to learn. Throughout freshman year, I realized that I needed to change the direction of my life to something that would not only be worthwhile for me, but for the people around me. I remember looking back to a page of Notre Dame alumni and seeing a person named Zhu, from China. “In 2013, Zhu began his career in environmental conflict mediation, managing over 50 municipal projects in Tianjin, China, to improve water quality, reduce pollution, and conserve wetlands. After matriculating to Notre Dame, an internship took him to East Africa in 2018, where he conducted research on peacebuilding with Act Change Transform in Nairobi, Kenya, and led him to co-found Pumbaa Eco, China’s first environmental social innovation consultancy” (“Gallery: Domer Dozen” by Notre Dame – Moreau FYE Week Two). Reading his life story reminded me to keep on putting my goals ahead of me and to carve my path in that direction. I realized through my undergraduate year that I did want to leave footprint in this world by helping my community in whatever career I end up in. At the end of the day, whatever success I’ve achieved will not really be fulfilling if I’m the only one who’s affected by it. The art of sharing and giving gives a feeling of satisfaction like no other. Even when I was young, it was not uncommon for me to have thoughts about death: what it entails, what life looks like after death, and what it means for me right now. Through my religious perspective, I didn’t see death as an ending but a new beginning for a life with God. With that perspective in mind, I strived to live a life of meaning and one where I could smile back on at the end. Being able to identify what I enjoyed doing and what I was skilled in doing was key in doing that. “Suffering and death are facts of life; focusing only on the “bright and shiny” is superficial and inauthentic. “We try to suppress the thought of death, or escape it, or run away from it because we think that’s where we’ll find happiness,” she said. “But it’s actually in facing the darkest realities of life that we find light in them.” ("Meet the nun who wants you to remember that you will die (Links to an external site.)" by Ruth Graham, NY Times – Moreau FYE Week Three). Being able to explore through the different clubs and organizations present at Notre Dame had help me discover the things that I was passionate in. “Much as we present it with arrows from one step to the next, it’s important to keep in mind that it’s not always linear; these steps don’t take place in a nice, neat order. It’s a developmental process that will recur throughout your lifetime and you’ll move between stages as you learn and grow.” (“Navigating Your Career Journey” by Moreau First Year Experience Course – Moreau FYE Week Four). Throughout my self-discovery of who or what I wanted to become, I encountered different obstacles, including a realization of a new passion that made me want to change majors at Notre Dame. I remember thinking that it was such a big deal and that all the plans I had for the future would be ruined. However, when looking back, it was simply God’s redirection in my life. It is naturally that changes will occur in your life, and it doesn’t mean that it’s bad. Sometimes, passions and interests change, and that is part of one’s self-discovery. I learned through the journey that we must embrace the change and recognize that those changes reflect who we are now. I remember interviewing my mother on questions about myself. It was to get her opinion on things personal to me, like what made me happy, what I would do in the future, what issues intrigued me, etc. I remember at that time how my mother answered things that made me think about myself, not because they were offensive, but because they were true, but I had never thought about it myself. I think the questions that I asked at that time were quite deep and my mother and I had a deep conversation together. She told me at the end of the interview that one thing she wants me to know even though it will be hard to listen to is that “You can’t always have everything that you want”. My mother knew how I’ve always gotten what I want but in life, it doesn’t always go that way. I’ve experienced the truth of that statement throughout my year at Notre Dame and I knew then that it shouldn’t feel like failure, but it should feel like God showing me a new path. My mother definitely played a huge part in my discernment. One thing my dad would often say to me whenever I found myself stuck in a hole was “try introspecting and self-reflecting”. Thinking back, the art of self-reflecting can be useful, but it can also lead to more negative emotions. Sometimes, by simply self-reflecting, we will not get the answer or solution we need. A different word that might be more appropriate is practicing self- insight, which allows a person to think about the ‘what’ questions to understand themselves and why things have happened the way they have. This goes accordingly with the quote “We can spend endless amounts of time in self-reflection but emerge with no more self-insight than when we started” (“The Right Way to be Introspective (Yes, There’s a Wrong Way)” by Tasha Eurich, TED Conferences – Moreau FYE Week Six). The time I spent at Notre Dame has taught me that in terms of academic challenges / problems in social relationships, it is important to practice self- insight rather than self-reflection, because it can help us reach the solution we need, rather than dwell in the negative emotions. My time at Notre Dame has taught me what it meant to be a Christian that can live a life well-lived. “Tenderness is the path of choice for the strongest, most courageous men and women. Tenderness is not weakness; it is fortitude. It is the path of solidarity, the path of humility” (“Why the only future worth building includes everyone (Links to an external site.) by His Holiness Pope Francis, TED Conferences – Moreau FYE Week Seven). It had always been one of my principles to live a life where I can be an exemplary Christian to others: to love, to care, and to do good towards one another. Having met many other people with that kind of mindset at Notre Dame had encouraged positivity within me that such a thing as peace within this world might be attainable. During my time at Notre Dame, I’d always strive to be tender, to be loving, and to be gentle with other people. I would try to surround myself with caring people that shared the same mindset as well. When relationships form between people who aim to do good in this world, we can create solidarity.