Integration One Essay
Drew Espeseth
15 October 2021
Growth Toward Success Through Participation
	Each individual is unique in how they function, learn, process experiences, and how they were formed. I think that a certain amount of self-awareness is good and necessary for positive growth, therefore the recognition of personal beliefs is critical. While the process of learning and changing is constant and never-ending, I can pinpoint my own core qualities and beliefs as they are so far in my journey of growth. When asked to name a few words to describe me, my parents, siblings, and friends most frequently responded with the word “driven”. As for my own word to describe myself, I think the word “fearless” is most fitting. The extent to which these adjectives accurately describe my character can be seen throughout my core beliefs about myself.
	Beginning with my past and how I was formed, I believe that I am strongly influenced by my Catholic faith, my parents’ value of selflessness, my siblings’ teachings about competitiveness, and the opportunities for adventure in my hometown environment. I am my own person, but I am also undoubtedly a product of my environment. Growing up as the youngest child, I wanted nothing more than to be as strong and smart as my older brothers, which fueled my drive for competition and difficulty accepting failure. This could also be a factor of my “drivenenes”. George Ella’s “Where I’m From” poem closes with the lines “I am from those moments--/snapped before I budded --/leaf-fall from the family tree.” This alludes to the influences family can have on one’s upbringing, and yet it is stated later in the George Ella Lyon article that “no one else sees the world as you do; no one else has your material to draw on” (where.html by George Ella Lyon - Moreau FYE Week Six). The values of the Church have been instilled in me from an early age, and I still carry them throughout my daily life. Finding fun and positivity in the small town I grew up in taught me to say “yes” to new experiences and possibilities, which I believe makes me fearless.
	Hope is another integral part of who I am. I believe that I am hopeful for a positive outcome in every situation, and that this allows me to trust in God. Part of being driven and fearless is having expectations for the future, which is sort of how hope works. In the Grotto article from Week 3, it is stated that “hope directs our desire toward its true end, which is the kingdom of heaven” (faith-brings-light-to-dark-world by David Fagerberg - Moreau FYE Week Three). Having this hope opens up our hearts, whether to fail or to succeed. This sentiment relates to the idea of vulnerability covered in Week 1, “as a result of authenticity, they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were, which you have to absolutely do that for connection.” (transcript by Brene Brown, Moreau FYE Week One). Being vulnerable enough to show your true self gives you the opportunity to be great, as long as you incorporate hope for a positive outcome.
	I believe that humor and positivity are important in healthy relationships, and that lightheartedness can make relationships enjoyable, which is how they are supposed to be. While this quality seems like it can be shallow, it is actually very important to forming vulnerable relationships that improve depth of character, “out of that wrestling, that suffering, then a depth of character is constructed” (watch by David Brooks, Moreau FYE Week Two). I believe that in order to grow in our “Adam Two”, we need to experience other people’s strengths and experience the consequences of our own weaknesses. This can cause suffering, but allows us to learn from our mistakes. The suffering we often experience is individual and important to our own personal narrative, but relative with regard to other people. There are always others who have experienced a similar thing, or something worse. Thus, we can take these instances and change. I believe that being a driven person involves accepting mistakes and using them to move forward into success, which requires a bit of fearlessness as well.
	“Talking to a friend about our stresses and struggles can be incredibly helpful for healing wounds and figuring out a real solution....there is, however, a difference between confiding and excessive complaining” (signs-of-toxic-friendships by Olivia T Taylor, Moreau FYE Week Four). This quote touches on an experience many of us have had, when it feels like someone is using you to vent and not listening to your own struggles. I believe that these relationships, the relationships in which we are unequally treated and used, are unhealthy and can be harmful. However, like many bad experiences, it can be used to learn and grow. Even if we are unable to escape a relationship like this, it is possible to gain self understanding by listening to the other person’s problems and applying them to our own struggles. On the other hand, healthy relationships are critical to maintaining self confidence and self love. In order to lead a smooth and successful life, we often need to let go of people or situations that are bringing us down, which can be rather scary. To be truly fearless, I believe that I have to let go of harmful relationships.
	So far my experience here at Notre Dame has shown me that selflessness is one of the most powerful actions. This goes hand-in-hand with the idea that vulnerability is the foundation for courage and connections. When we humble ourselves to a position of servitude in order to help our classmates or friends, we give them all the power in the situation. However, we also express our love, which empowers ourselves and our faith in God. This is critical to our education as it allows us to mature spiritually and gain wisdom to guide us in how we utilize the knowledge we gain here in school.
“When life comes to teach you a lesson, you will repeat the class if you don’t pass the test” (watch Carla Harris Commencement Speech, Moreau FYE Week Five). One of these lessons that we learn is about the implicit biases that we all have. We must seek to hear new stories in order to diversify our perspectives about other groups. It is natural for our brains to try to draw connections between people and create stereotypes so that we can predict things, but this can cause unfairness to others. Ideally, we can try to train our brains to use this skill of drawing connections to find similarities between ourselves and people of other ethnicities so that we can find common ground, “If a country can’t tell narratives in which everybody finds an honorable place, then righteous rage will drive people toward tribal narratives that tear it apart.” (patriotism-misinformation.html New York Times, Moreau FYE Week Seven).
	Through the lessons I have learned by listening to others, the growth I have experienced from my own suffering and mistakes, and the relationships I have had, both healthy and unhealthy, I can see that success as a person of society and success as a servant of God are both difficult tasks. However, I believe that my positive qualities of humor, determination, and courage, along with hope and trust in God, can guide me to become a better person in an ever changing world.