Panethiere 1

Theo Helm
Moreau First Year Experience
2 December 2021
Seeing (And Repping) Green: Managing Imposter Syndrome and Academic Insecurity in a New, Irish Environment while Maintaining New Relationships
	The first semester of college—and even the first year—is a major adjustment for just about every student. A new environment, whether it’s a new town, new friend group, new classes, or all three, rookie college students have a plethora of factors to acclimate themselves to. And not all these pieces will come easily. Instances of insecurity in academics, social life, and even within the self surround the college experience. Navigating through this past semester, through a completely foreign environment, I’ve learned a lot about how I operate in a college setting, how I need to change my outlook on education, and how I have to alter my mindset during this transition from high school.
	Week Nine of Moreau dealt with perhaps the biggest obstacle I’ve had to overcome in my college experience thus far: imposter syndrome and academic insecurity. Coming from high school, where I was used to doing well in class with minimal effort and often didn’t have many peers to academically push me, coming to college was a culture shock. I was surrounded by extremely smart people who were just as driven by their academic achievement—if not more—than me. Not being at the top of the class, not getting all A’s, and taking a little longer to understand certain concepts really impacted my confidence this semester. I didn’t feel like I belonged at Notre Dame, that I didn’t deserve my spot—I’d reduced myself in high school to only my academic accomplishments, and now I wasn’t even achieving great academic scores. It took a lot of time and a lot of conversations with older students to realize that as long as I was learning and enjoying the material that I was learning, having perfect grades didn’t really matter. When I found my friend group and saw how supportive everyone was of me no matter what I did, I realized that my expectations that I was trying to reach to impress others were completely self-imposed. Those who were judgmental of me or my achievement weren’t those that I should have been dedicating my time to—after all, “You can’t live your life according to the expectations of others” (“Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Free Habit” by Julia Hogan - Moreau FYE Week 9). Realizing my academic journey was mine and did not depend on anyone else was a really freeing moment, and now I am better able to analyze my academic success by how much I enjoy my major or how much I feel like I am learning. Ending this semester, for the first time I’ve been less concerned with the grade aspect of my learning, and I’m more proud of each achievement and am trying to focus more on being happy at school instead of just doing well academically.
	Managing interactions with others who may or may not share the same background prior to coming to Notre Dame has been an expected challenge, but the way our experiences change interactions with each other looked a little different from my expectations. Admittedly, sometimes my biggest issue lies in ignorance: I just simply don’t know about the differences in some of my peers’ upbringings. One thing I have found to be extremely important as I get to know others is to not enter any interaction with preconceived notions about someone else’s life. As I’ve gotten to know so many new, interesting people, learning about them without judgement is the only way to understand these new unfamiliar perspectives. Going through Moreau class time has been a great way for me to learn about new people, their perspectives, and how these perspectives impact Notre Dame’s community. The Notre Dame community is all-encompassing in each undergrad’s life, an extension of the nation we live in. With so many people from all over the USA and the world, these different cultures must come together and unite in their similarities and respect their differences. Father Jenkins himself even says, “A country whose citizens treat one another with scorn does not have a bright future” (“Wesley Theological Seminary Commencement” by Fr. John Jenkins, C.S.C. - Moreau FYE Week 10), and this same ideal has been integral to my relationship building at Notre Dame—my inter-campus community must surround themselves in understanding and acceptance to stand together and make change. As I continue my undergraduate education, this mindset has set the proper foundation for the future relationships I hope to build.
	Staying connected as a community within Notre Dame has also been an important highlight for the end of my first semester. While learning how to overcome differences within the community has been an initial goal, keeping my community strong and continuing to learn from my peers and Notre Dame family is a goal that builds off of my previous growth through Moreau and my daily experiences. Because Notre Dame is filled with so many people from different places with different stories, the opportunity these differences present to improving Notre Dame’s community is something I hope to contribute to by highlighting the voices of those that impact the campus community. This “capacity for connectedness is both possible and necessary if we are to inhabit the larger, and truer, community of our lives” (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker J. Palmer - Moreau FYE Week 11), and Notre Dame having these different backgrounds helps prepare me and my peers for a world that is a bigger example of the diverse cultures and lives found on campus. In class, learning about the ways campus life has both positively and negatively impacted my peers from different backgrounds has been really eye opening for me, and knowing how they are affected differently by certain situations has influenced me to better consider how others will be changed by certain words, actions, or biases.
	Catholic education has made my capability for love and compassion a lot stronger within the last semester: by combining the ideals of love and acceptance of one another that catholic teaching emphasizes, the relationships between me and my peers is strengthened. Doing good in this world for the fulfilment of future rewards (whether that’s Heaven or just building positive relationships) is a foundation concept in Notre Dame’s approach to education—helping others only helps you in the long run. Striving to be the best version of ourselves, by listening to the perspectives of others, can help us improve ourselves and benefit the entire community. Going through our final weeks of Moreau, this aspect of helping one another for the sake of just doing good was very prevalent in the way we approached our in-class discussions and relationships; our conversations were filled with support and understanding, and we all were very grateful for each person in the room that got to impact us in a new way. Despite the fact that “none of us can be so perfect” in every aspect of our lives, “the aim for the Christian [is] twofold: to reach one’s fullest potential in this world while remaining focused upon the ultimate goal of fullness in the life to come.” (“Holy Cross and Christian Education” by James B. King – Moreau FYE Week 12). To maintain the goal of being the best person I can be for others, continuing to model myself after those that I admire with the hope to one day become my best self is perhaps my largest personality growth throughout my time in Moreau. I want my peers to enjoy their time at Notre Dame as much as I want to enjoy mine, and I look forward to helping them achieve their goals.
	Looking back at this semester, I have been so lucky to have grown in mind, body, and spirit through my time in Moreau. Using the advice I have received through readings and class to learn more about my peers without judgement and aim to help them in their endeavors has made my time at Notre Dame thus far all the more meaningful. As I move into next semester, I hope to continue the momentum of my previous learning and learn more about even more people in the Notre Dame community while learning more about myself, my values, and my education.