10/6 The Ideas that Shaped Me Each individual needs to have a set of core, root beliefs that will guide them through their life. They shape who you are, how you interact and treat others, and the way you live your life. Without taking the time to really analyze yourself, it can be difficult to understand what is truly important and special to you. However, through our Moreau class, most Notre Dame students are proficient in this realm because of the assignments we have been given the last seven weeks. I believe that I have grown smarter in my own emotional intelligence because I now know what is essential and meaningful to making the next four years here great. I believe that I am confident enough to stay true to myself and avoid falling to the wishes of others. I believe that loving everyone, despite their imperfections, is what makes humanity beautiful. I believe that spending time with myself to reflect on my own actions and behaviors that make me who I am is critical to self-growth. Since getting here, I have had many experiences and interactions that have changed who I am and helped to form these root beleifs. I believe that I am confident enough to stay true to myself and avoid falling to the wishes of others. During the first few days of college I truly believed that people thought I was weird and that they wanted nothing to do with me. My self-confidence was struggling and I was panicking that I would make no friends or that I would have to become a different person and fake it. However, I quickly discovered that that was far from the truth and that people love me exactly the way I am. I used to be fearful about meeting new people because I was so anxious that they wouldn’t like me or would ignore me. Now, I am excited to meet new people that are similar to me and if they aren’t, I couldn’t care less! As Carla Harris said in her 2021 commencement speech, “Fear has no place in your success equation.”( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjSwjn-SyB4 , 2021 Laetare Medalist Address, by Carla Harris- Moreau FYE Week 5). I now know not to hide who I am, or try and force myself to do things that I don’t want to do. There have been nights where I am just exhausted and want to lay in bed so, instead of going out with my friends, I stuck true to myself and laid in bed. I also think that sticking true to myself has been imperative to making real, true friends that I can identify with since they accept me for who I am. One of my best friends here has already taught me so much about myself and she continues to make me a better version of myself always. In the article “Five Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship”, the author writes that, “ Great, fruitful conversation comes from two people engaging in one another’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences. A healthy, balanced, mutual friendship involves peers who ask questions and bounce ideas back and forth.” ( https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ , Five Signs You’re in a Toxic Freindship, by Olivia T. Taylor - Moreau FYE Week 4). This made me look further into my relationships that I have mader here, and either strengthened my beliefs that I had found good people, or did the opposite. I believe that loving everyone, despite their imperfections, is what makes humanity beautiful. Everyone here has their own story and it is a privilege to get to know people where they feel comfortable enough to share it with me. However, it is impossible to ever understand every single person’s story, so we must give them the benefit of the doubt. As Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie said in her Ted Talk, “The consequence of the single story is this: it robs people of their dignity. It makes our recognition of our equal humanity difficult. It emphasizes how we are different rather than how we are https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjSwjn-SyB4 https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ similar”( https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story , The Danger of a Single Story, by Ngozi Adichie- Moreau FYE Week 7). I had a conversation one night with a student who was from China and she explained to me how some professors here assume that just because she can’t speak perfect English, she is less of a student. However, she is probably smarter than many of the students here because she knows four languages and English wasn’t even her first one. We must not judge people in any circumstances because we have no idea about their life experiences. I have also learned that if you want to be an ally to all of your classmates, you must be willing to be there for everyone even when it's not convenient to you. One of my friends was very homesick one night and really needed someone to talk to, yet I had an exam the next day that I wanted to study for. I chose to be there for her because I love her and didn’t want her to turn to other outlets to cope with her feelings because, “ you cannot selectively numb emotion.( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&list=PLmiPsabET-W_hjesjTZaIT h2s1WbM-Kd0&index=4 , The Power of Vulnerability, by Brene Brown - Moreau FYE Week 1) College is a very vulnerable time for many students and bad habits can be developed if support systems are not in place. So, I hope that I can be there for all of my loved ones because they all have their own story and struggles. I believe that spending time with myself to reflect on my own actions and behaviors that make me who I am is critical to self-growth. To become a better person, I need to constantly be cognizant of my behaviors and develop ways to improve them and confront my own failures. In David Brooks’ Ted Talk he states, “You go into yourself, you find the sin which you’ve committed over and again through your life, your signature sin out of which the others emerge, and you wrestle with that sin, and out of that wrestling, that suffering, then a depth of a https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&list=PLmiPsabET-W_hjesjTZaITh2s1WbM-Kd0&index=4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&list=PLmiPsabET-W_hjesjTZaITh2s1WbM-Kd0&index=4 character is constructed.”( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM , Should you Live your Life for your Resume… or Eulogy? By Ted Brooks- Moreau FYE Week 2).I haven’t been doing this enough because I have been so busy but I plan to take at least five minutes every Sunday to sit down and reflect on the things I did over the week. Part of this includes reflecting on the things that make me who I am, like where I am from. As I explained in my poem about where I’m from (Moreau FYE- Week 7), my dad's cooking is extremely important and was a core part of my identity. This last week I have been asking him to make certain meals for me when I’m home for fall break. I am super excited to go home to experience not only his cooking, but nostalgic restaurants and eateries in my town. Finally, the last main component of who I am is my spirituality. Going to a Catholic institution can sometimes be intimidating since I don’t consider myself a very religious person. However, just because I am not religious, does not mean I am not spiritual. I have been trying to work on being more in touch with myself because, “ Spirituality concerns the real world, and how we see it, how we do it, how we approach it. Spiritual life alters the cockeyed lighting that makes us the center of the universe”( https://grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/belief/faith-brings-light-to-dark-world/?utm_ source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau , Faith Brings Light to a Dark World, by David Fagerberg- Moreau FYE Week 3). I have been trying to keep a positive mentality about our housing situation and the idea that “everything happens for a reason” has really helped me. I think that if we remain positive, we can make the best out of the situation. After my first two months here, I have learned many special lessons that have formed me into a new person. I have learned to become more confident in myself because of friends that I have made that accept me for who I am. I have taken the time to understand people’s stories and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM https://grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/belief/faith-brings-light-to-dark-world/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/belief/faith-brings-light-to-dark-world/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau taken that into consideration when interacting with them. Finally, I have understood the importance of analyzing my own behaviors in order to become a better person. 1) I know myself well “ Fear has no place in your success equation” 5 “ Great, fruitful conversation comes from two people engaging in one another’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences. A healthy, balanced, mutual friendship involves peers who ask questions and bounce ideas back and forth.” 4 2) Being there for others that you cannot selectively numb emotion 1 The consequence of the single story is this: it robs people of their dignity. It makes our recognition of our equal humanity difficult. It emphasizes how we are different rather than how we are similar. 7 3) Spirituality concerns the real world, and how we see it, how we do it, how we approach it. Spiritual life alters the cockeyed lighting that makes us the center of the universe 3 “You go into yourself, you find the sin which you’ve committed over and again through your life, your signature sin out of which the others emerge, and you wrestle with that sin, and out of that wrestling, that suffering, then a depth of a character is constructed.” 2