week 13 - integration 2 Riley 1 Kiara Riley Professor Retartha Moreau First Year Experience 3 December 2021 Encountering Challenges and Navigating Through College Throughout my first semester of college, I have inevitably encountered numerous different challenges. Overtime, I have gradually learned and gained the skills necessary to overcome these challenges. The first major challenge I encountered this semester pertains to my tendency of setting unrealistic and high expectations for myself. My perfectionist mindset I had in high school travelled with me to college. Author Julia Hogan discusses in her article “Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit” the relationship between expectations and individual worth. She states, “If we don’t meet those expectations, we feel like the exact opposite - like we aren’t good enough” (“Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit” by Julia Hogan - Moreau FYE Week Nine). This statement from Hogan’s piece really resonated with me because it portrays exactly how I feel when I fail to meet my expectations I set for myself. During this first semester, specifically, I set very unrealistic expectations for my physical and mental health. I expected and promised myself that I would do some form of exercise every day, whether that was going to the gym, running around the lake, going for a walk, etc. I failed to meet this expectation of myself, as I sometimes find it difficult to find free time to devote to my physical health. Every single day that I was not intentionally physically active made me feel very upset and disappointed in myself. I felt, just like Hogan states, like I wasn’t “good enough” because I would see other girls around me successfully find time to work out every day when I could not. I slowly, however, realized that my expectation that I had to rigorously work out every day was very unreasonable. I overcame this challenge and expectation by creating a workout plan that aligns with my schedule. My plan is to simply work out when I want or in between Riley 2 tough assignments when I need a mind break. One should not feel worthless or as upset as I was when he or she is not physically active every day. The feelings I had on those nights when I was too busy to work out were very unhealthy and not beneficial to both my physical and mental health. I grew to be able to stop comparing myself and my schedule to my peers around me. The second major challenge I encountered was remembering and sticking to my morals as a Catholic and follower of Christ. My parents instilled in me at a young age to behave and treat every individual with compassion and unconditional kindness, regardless of the individual’s race, gender, social status, class rank, etc. I try to, everyday, in college to keep my strong faith and morals in my mind as I interact with my friends, teachers, or any individual I encounter. A large aspect of Catholicism, in my opinion, is not focussing on individuals’ superficial or materialistic values, but instead on their heart and character. We are all humans created by Christ, and allowing social constructs to determine how we treat one another only creates more division in our society. In “Should Catholic Schools Teach Critical Race Theory?”, author Christopher J. Devron discusses every individual’s personal responsibility of being cognizant of their morals and the manner in which they treat other human beings. He wrote, “It places on us the moral obligation to consider every person as our brother or sister, our sibline or neighbor, regardless of social constructs such as race” (“Should Catholic Schools Teach Critical Race Theory?” by Christopher J. Devron - Moreau FYE Week Ten). Devron’s statements in his article directly align with my belief that it is important to not let social constructs like race separate and divide us. It is essential to love and treat every human being with kindness no matter where he or she comes from or his or her appearance. When searching for friends this semester, I made sure to keep my morals and faith in mind when interacting with others. I changed and continue to change my behavior to make sure that it is always a direct representation of my character and genuine self. Riley 3 The third major challenge I encountered this semester was finding honest and genuine relationships in my community. The foundation and basis of every relationship is loyalty, trust and honesty. I have been searching for loyal and trustworthy friends since I arrived on campus and I can happily say that I have found individuals who I can be vulnerable with and a safe place where I can express my true personality. I am never in fear of being judged by this group and I know that they will be a part of my life for a long time. It took me a while, however, to find these individuals, but it is so refreshing to be able to say that my search for these friends is over. In “Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker J. Palmer, Palmer explains the importance of a trustworthy place. He wrote, “Leadership for community consists in creating, holding, and guarding a trustworthy space in which human resourcefulness may be evoked” (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker J. Palmer - Moreau FYE Week Eleven). Palmer discusses how a successful community needs to have a leader who prioritizes creating a “trustworthy space” for his or her people. Trust between a leader and his or her people is essential in order for the society to be organized and for the people to be resourceful. A trustworthy space, as I know from my experience, creates a place for people to be vulnerable and honest with one another. I am so thankful and grateful that I remained patient until I found friends who I can be my genuine self around and who simply care about me. Staying patient during this process was a major challenge for me because I expected to find and make these friendships really early on in the semester. I gradually realized, however, that this expectation was very unrealistic. The last challenge I encountered and overcame pertains to my comfort zone. Even in high school, it was very difficult for me to extend beyond my comfort zone in almost every aspect of my life. The idea of being uncomfortable really frightens me, and because of that, I avoid putting myself in any situation or position where I would potentially be uncomfortable. I find myself Riley 4 constantly relying on others to pull me out of my comfort zone because I am incapable of doing so myself. My experiences in college, however, forced me to leave my comfort zone and face a variety of different and unfamiliar situations. I slowly learned that I need to be the person to pull myself out of my comfort zone in order for me to grow. In “Hope - Holy Cross and Christian Education” by Father James B. King, King explains that one has to be willing to leave his or her comfort zone in order to see growth. He wrote, “The contemplation of new ideas and needs beyond our comfort zones requires a sacrificial willingness to put at risk everything that we think we already know” (“Hope - Holy Cross and Christian Education” by Father James B. King - Moreau FYE Week Twelve). Just like King states, an individual needs to be willing and eager to leave his or her comfort zone in order for the individual to make any progress in leaving his or her comfort zone and in order to grow. I completely agree with King’s statements, and I need to continue to take risks and force myself outside of my comfort zone even if it scares me. I do see growth in this area of my life, however, because I have stopped overthinking every decision I make and have noticed that I have been taking more academic and social risks outside of my comfort zone. I am so proud of myself and of my growth this past semester. I have encountered and overcame many different challenges and obstacles and have developed into a new and independent young woman. I am much more confident in my decision making and no longer associate my worth with whether or not I meet my expectations. This growth in my life needs to continue, and I strongly believe that it will because I am surrounded by the right people and am in a safe space to do so. My personal development and growth this year is something I take pride in because the challenges I have overcome this semester are ones that I have been facing my entire life.