Capstone Integration Ryan DuFour April 24, 2022 Moreau FYE My Ideal Life When I arrived on campus last August, I was mostly concerned with making friends and waking up for class, not the larger questions of life like, “How do I pursue a life well-lived?”. Moreau gave me an outlet to think about these deeper questions and discern what I truly want for my life. I think that I have a good picture of the person that I want to be and a plan to pursue it. I have realized throughout this year that the most important thing in my life is my relationships. This was apparent to my loved ones as well because when I asked my mom in the week five discernment activity what is most important to me she said, “you want lasting relationships”(Moreau FYE Week Five). This was the first time that I acknowledged this as the most important thing in my life. Since that point, I have tried not to ever take my relationships for granted. Last week in my mission statement I wrote, “I will strive to maintain my current relationships with friends and family but also create relationships along the way”. I wholeheartedly stand by this statement and will ingrain it into my life. Everyday life can be chaotic with so many different tasks to finish and small issues. One thing that has been helpful for me is to step back and look at the bigger picture. In his TED article, Pico Iyer writes, “It’s only by stepping farther back and standing still that we can begin to see what that canvas (which is our lives) really means, and to take in the larger picture”(“Why we need to slow down our lives” by Pico Iyer-Moreau FYE Week One). Pico makes a great argument for this point because once you look at the broader picture of your life you realize that https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-need-a-secular-sabbath/ many of your everyday troubles don’t matter at all. This has been very helpful for me and I will continue to try to keep my life in perspective. An important aspect of this practice is to accept that we are all gonna die one day. In an article written by a nun, Ruth Graham, she states, “We try to suppress the thought of death, or escape it, or run away from it because we think that’s where we’ll find happiness”(“Meet the nun who wants you to remember that you will die” by Ruth Graham, Moreau FYE Week Three). I have taken this practice to heart. I have scheduled as many activities and adventures that I can pack into my summer as possible. I am going skydiving even though I am terrified of the idea. Life is too short so I have made my default answer “yes” whenever someone wants to do something. You don’t want to go too far with this practice and then not be present in your everyday life, however. In her TED Talk, Tasha Eurich writes, “the more time that participants spend in introspection, the less self-knowledge they have“(“The Right Way to be Introspective (Yes, There’s a wrong way)” by Tasha Eurich- Moreau FYE Week Six). It is crucial to try to find out who we are as people. I consider myself a self-aware person and I am comfortable with who I am. I try not to let my mistakes or different situations weigh on me too badly because I am confident in my actions. In my mission statement, I wrote, “I will not let the worries of everyday life weigh on me too bad”. I want to be fully present and determined to reach my goals. The small problems of everyday life should have no control over me. When life feels hard it has been important for me to remember that everything happens for a reason. The career discernment website states, “Every experience shapes you in some way, whether you realize it at the time or not!”(Meruelo Family Center for Career Development-Moreau FYE Week Four). In my mission statement, I wrote “I have the goal to leave this earth in a better place than when I was brought into it”. This goal stemmed from the amazing life of Father Hesburgh who https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html https://ideas.ted.com/the-right-way-to-be-introspective-yes-theres-a-wrong-way/ https://ideas.ted.com/the-right-way-to-be-introspective-yes-theres-a-wrong-way/ https://undergradcareers.nd.edu/navigating-your-career-journey---moreau/ truly made this world a better place. In the Hesburgh movie, the narrator states, “What made him such an extraordinary figure is that he really didn’t belong to any side. He belonged to the side of decency. He belonged to the side of a fundamental belief in the redeemability of mankind”(“Hesburgh” produced by Jerry Barca and Christine O’Malley-Moreau FYE Week Two). This movie changed my life as I saw how big of an impact that one person could have. I strive to have people say things like this about me after I am gone. I think that one area of life that I am naturally good at is judgment. I think that as I have gotten older too I have realized that people can be very passionate, emotional, and angry, over small things. In the Hidden Brain podcast, the narrator states, ‘Millions of Americans are engaging in politics in an emotionally appealing but self-defeating way”(“Passion Isn’t Enough” by Hidden Brain Media-Moreau FYE Week Eleven). Politics is a great example of things that can raise great anger within people. I have made it a goal of mine to not let the emotions of others affect my mood. If I am in a good mood then I will not let someone make me angry. In my mission statement, I wrote “I will be a beacon of positivity for everyone around me”. I want to be a person that people want to be around because I make them smile and laugh. I think that I could start by being more compassionate. I consider myself a nice person but sometimes I struggle to understand the feelings of others. In his TED speech, Pope Francis states, “When one realizes that life, even in the middle of so many contradictions, is a gift, that love is the source and the meaning of life, how can they withhold their urge to do good to another fellow being? (“Why the only future worth building includes everyone” by His Holiness Pope Francis-Moreau Week Seven). I think that as I look around I need to acknowledge that everyone is just trying to have a good life and try to spread love as hard as it can be. https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=10159379-7eca-4549-8581-ab9500c9ecd9 https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/passion-isnt-enough/ https://www.ted.com/talks/his_holiness_pope_francis_why_the_only_future_worth_building_includes_everyone/transcript https://www.ted.com/talks/his_holiness_pope_francis_why_the_only_future_worth_building_includes_everyone/transcript I want to be a courageous person in life. I want to have the courage to follow my dreams and do what I love. When writing about a time he was pulled over by a bad cop, Professor Marcus Cole writes, “At that moment, I remember thinking that the most important thing that I could do for my sons was to survive the encounter”(“I am George Floyd. Except, I can Breathe. And I can do Something” by Dean G. Marcus Cole-Moreau FYE Week Twelve). Professor Cole could have easily lost his cool and tried to argue but instead, he took the high ride and decided that he needed to survive for his children. I want to have the courage to make the tough decisions that will arise in my life. Out of all of the sources throughout Moreau, I was touched most by the story of the boy who was gay but grew up Catholic. He had to repress his feelings for a long time and then he finally told his best friend. In his article, Jacob Walsh writes, “The knot in my stomach untied, and I let go of the steering wheel”(“Growing up Gay and Catholic” by Jacob Walsh- Moreau FYE Week Ten). The feeling of relief that Jacob felt when his best friend was so kind when he came out to him emphasizes that we all just want to be accepted in life. I want to be there for all the people in my life and be a source of comfort and advice. In an article, Professor Steve Reifenberg writes, “The admonition is consistent across all traditions: Look beyond your immediate concerns; show compassion and accompany one another”(“Teaching Accompaniment: A Learning Journey Together ” by Professor Steve Reifenberg). I want to be there to make the lives of others better. In my mission statement, I wrote “my main goal in life is to find true happiness”. I will pursue this goal as I go on with my life. https://law.nd.edu/news-events/news/dean-g-marcus-cole-i-am-george-floyd-except-i-can-breathe-and-i-can-do-something/ https://law.nd.edu/news-events/news/dean-g-marcus-cole-i-am-george-floyd-except-i-can-breathe-and-i-can-do-something/ https://grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/community/reflective-narrative-about-being-gay-and-catholic/?utm_source=moreau&utm_medium=class&utm_campaign=spring_2022 https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hZbSdVImfn2hZDqMrdL96dZCNOtHuf6C-lg3sH-Rs30/edit?usp=sharing https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hZbSdVImfn2hZDqMrdL96dZCNOtHuf6C-lg3sH-Rs30/edit?usp=sharing