Microsoft Word - Document1 Mia McLoughlin Moreau First Year Experience Professor Erik Oswald 29 April 2022 Integration Four Integration Four: Following my Grandma’s Magnet Before my grandma moved in with my family, I went to visit her at least three out of seven days a week. As there is nothing, I love more than eating, I spent a lot of time in her kitchen. Out of all her tchotchkes and trinkets displayed around her house, the object that stood out to me the most was a magnet on her fridge that displayed the famous Maya Angelou quote: Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. Although I did not understand the meaning of the magnet when I was younger, the words have resonated with me throughout my life. My mother would later explain to me that she gave my grandma the refrigerator adornment because she was proud of how my grandma had grown over the years as a mother. In the 1970s, when parenting improvement books and shows were popular, my grandmother would consciously try to watch and read them, and then apply these teachings to her own life. Because of the example that my grandmother has set for me, I believe that for me to pursue a life well lived, I must live a life where I do the best I can with the knowledge that I hold while keeping an open mind to ways in which I can improve. I believe that my mission statement is an accurate and genuine representation of how I want to orient my life as it is an amalgamation of what I currently know and a commitment to learn ways in which to improve. When crafting my mission statement, I had my grandma’s magnet in mind. As I have always strived my best to live by not only the teachings of Maya Angelou, but also my grandma, I have kept these words in my heart. As I said in my mission statement, “ I see each day as a new opportunity to learn and do better. I am not afraid of failure; and embrace it”, (Mission Statement – Moreau FYE Week 13). I truly believe these words as they have proven true within my own lifetime and time again. During my time at Notre Dame, I have failed a lot. As I have mentioned in previous QQCs, my inability to pass a few major math exams (as an ACMS major and actuary minor) really impacted me in an academic and mental way. Although the thought of my shortcomings still slightly upsets me, I have reached a point where I accept what happened and am driven to find ways to prevent a repeat. As it says in the Hesburgh Film, “It’s impossible to have a complete human story if one doesn’t speak of human failings as well as human success,” (“Hesburgh Film” Produced by Jerry Barca and Christine O'Malley – Moreau FYE Week 2). This past semester I have improved my grades–especially my math grade. Last semester, I barely hung on to a B- in honors calculus I; however, I can confidently say that I will be finishing my second semester with an A in honors calculus II. Without struggling in the first semester, I would not be able to feel this same sense of accomplishment now. A life well lived is characterized by the ability to use failures in our pursuit of success. The most obvious indicator of my mission statement in action is the way in which I have learned to take better care of myself. Week one’s QQC caused me to take a step back and reevaluate the way in which I was living my life. When coming to Notre Dame, I carried over my high school mentality of “working until I couldn’t anymore”. This included pulling all- nighters, sacrificing meals, and not spending enough time with those who matter most to me. As my lack of regard for my health eventually caught up to me, I have learned that, “The need for an empty space, a pause, is something we have all felt in our bones; it’s the rest in a piece of music that gives it resonance and shape,” (“Why we need to slow down our lives” by Pico Iyer – Moreau FYE Week 1). This quote stuck out to me because I find the rests in music to be the most important element of a song. The silence in between notes creates a peacefulness that not only gives the musicians a break, but also fills the audience with a renewed hope of what is coming next. In the same way, pockets of peace within our lives can reset us, and prepare the mind for the challenges ahead of us. In the beginning of the school year, I would stay up until 4am, wake up at 7am, and repeat each day. The week after fall break, I fell ill for three weeks and had to rest until I healed. By being forced to do nothing for a couple of weeks, I was allowed an opportunity to recharge and realize how my lifestyle was harmful. Instead of asking myself why I became sick, I realized that I needed to directly find the cause because, “Why questions trap us in our past; what questions help us create a better future.” ("The right way to be introspective (yes, there’s a wrong way)" by Tasha Eurich PhD – Moreau FYE Week 6). Now, I make a conscious effort to get to sleep at least six to eight hours a day (I know, this still is not technically enough; however, it’s still an improvement :) ). Although a healthy sleep schedule will be hard to maintain throughout my next three years here at Notre Dame, by continuing to find ways to do better, I will eventually be able to reach my goal. A life well lived is one in which we pay attention to even the smallest behaviors that are harming us and try to change. A primary defining factor of a life well lived is the connections we make within our communities. This past month, I was selected as captain of my hall’s welcome weekend team. Although meeting new people–especially large numbers like over eighty new freshmen–has always appeared to be a daunting task to me, I knew that the only way that I could overcome this fear was by completely immersing myself into it. As I said in my mission statement, “I will live my life as an active member of my community because it is my responsibility to care for not only my family and friends, but also those around me who are strangers,” (Mission Statement – Moreau FYE Week 13). I believe that an individual cannot grow unless they cultivate all aspects of one’s personality/character because, “If a person only focuses on one or two parts of his/her self-concept for a career, that person will eventually hit a wall, “ ("Navigating Your Career Journey" – Moreau FYE Week 4). By being welcome weekend captain, I am showcasing my tangible skills, along with intangibles that I already possess in addition to ones that I have yet to discover. Furthermore, as leader, I will “seek to create loving communities of kinship precisely to counteract mounting lovelessness, racism, and the cultural disparagement that keeps us apart, ” ("Tattoos on the Heart" – Moreau FYE Week 7). As the freshmen and members of the welcome weekend team all come from diverse backgrounds, it is imperative that I find a way for everyone to authentically connect with each other and to break down these barriers. As I said in my mission statement, I will live my life as an active member of my community because it is my responsibility to care for not only my family and friends, but also those around me who are strangers. A life well-lived does not include selectively showing love to those who we decide are “worthy”, but instead it is characterized by the ability to give kindness to others when it means venturing outside of our comfort zones. One thing that I must keep in mind during welcome weekend is the concept of accompaniment. Up until recently, I have always felt that it is my responsibility to try and remedy everyone’s problems. As I have always been “Passionate about everything” I do, it is only natural that I felt the need to go out of my way to advocate for others (Conversation with Mary McLoughlin, February 6, 2022, Moreau FYE Week 5). However, I now know that, “‘To accompany is to help the person take their own destiny in their hands and allow that their voice is heard,’” (“Teaching Accompaniment: A Learning Journey Together” by Steve Reifenberg – Moreau FYE Week 9). Furthermore, I must always keep an open mind to the opinions of others, especially those that I may disagree with. As I have said before, my dad has always told me that he has never learned anything from someone he agrees with. As I have learned in my GGL course, “In surrounding ourselves with people who agree with us, we are losing our sense of how someone might reasonably disagree,” (“Big Questions 2, Part 4: How to Avoid an Echo Chamber” by Dr. Paul Blaschko, ThinkND – Moreau FYE Week 11). As I will captain of welcome weekend (in my hall, when an individual is selected as captain for welcome weekend, they keep this position until they no longer want it) for the remainder of my time at Notre Dame, I can apply these teachings–especially since they align with my mission statement–for the next three years. The part of my mission statement that I feel will be the most difficult to live out is living a life that is guided by my Christian values. As the world is becoming increasingly secular, it is hard to make decisions that are contrary to the norm, especially while being in college. Before coming to Notre Dame, I had an experience where I questioned my faith because I was receiving pressure from my ex-boyfriend’s family to convert to their religion. I became very close to giving in; however, I ultimately realized that the way in which they were pressuring me was unethical and not a true representation of what someone who genuinely is passionate about their faith would do. As I am young and as impressionable as a ball of clay, it is easy to fall victim to the pressures of the world. When I do mess up, I must keep in mind that,” ‘You can’t convince yourself God loves you, but you can ask Him to show you.’” (“Growing up Gay and Catholic” by Jacob Walsh – Moreau FYE Week 10). Ways in which God has shown me that he loves me is by giving me wonderful friends here at Notre Dame along with a support system within my family to help me through my most difficult times. These relationships have shown me joy–“a genuine rightness of how one lives one’s life,” ("Three Key Questions" by Fr. Michael Himes – Moreau FYE Week 3). Because of the joy they have given me, I believe that life well lived is characterized by positively impacting those around us. Additionally, I believe that “By using my beliefs about God as a moral compass, I can best manifest these values through the way in which I live my life,” (Mission Statement – Moreau FYE Week 13). As it says in the mission statement of the Congregation of the Holy Cross, “For the kingdom to come in this world, disciples must have the competence to see and the courage to act,” (“Constitutions of the Congregation of Holy Cross” – Moreau FYE Week 12). As I hold my beliefs near and dear to my heart, I believe that the only proper way for me to practice my religion is to allow my actions to demonstrate my values. I want to change the lives of others through the way in which I treat them. As I have stated before, a life well-lived does not include selectively showing love to those who we decide are “worthy”, but instead it is characterized by the ability to give kindness to others when it is the hardest. A life well lived is always having a willingness to embrace humanity. I believe that for me to pursue a life well lived, I must live a life where I do the best I can with the knowledge that I hold while keeping an open mind to ways in which I can improve. As I have many areas in my life in which I fall short, I love the fact that I have room for improvement. I see each day as a new opportunity to learn and do better. I am not afraid of failure; and embrace it. Every day I am committed to doing the best I can until I know better. Then when I know better, I will do better.