Microsoft Word - moreau week 8 integration.docx McArthur 1 Claire McArthur Professor Ryan Retartha Moreau First Year Experience 15 October 2021 Authenticity, Compassion, and Adventure My root beliefs are that I believe I forge life-giving giving relationships by being authentic, that my purpose is to love others, and that I grow by trying new things and stepping outside my comfort zone. My belief that I forge life-giving relationships by being authentic stems from my experiences during my sophomore year of high school. During this year, I felt very lonely. All my friends seemed fake, and I was fed up with the drama and facades of high school. I would go to the lunch table every day and not say a word – my “friends” never cared to ask about me, how my classes were going, or simply how I was doing. Sophomore year was incredibly difficult, but it was followed by a summer serving at a YoungLife camp that showed me the power of authenticity and intentionality. I was surrounded by people who sincerely cared about me and were willing to engage with me in deep, life-giving conversations. Serving at that summer camp inspired me to bring the lessons of authenticity and intentionality that I learned to my high school and life at home. After a long, stressful junior year, COVID shut down everything. I was forced to be a leader in a time where I couldn’t even see the faces of those I was leading. Relying on my love of intentionality and authenticity, I organized goodie bag drop-offs, socially distanced gatherings, and regularly checked in on my friends. Even though it was an incredibly hard time, authentic and intentional relationships kept my soul feeling full. I learned that authentic relationships take a lot of work and time, but their rewards are priceless. The Laetare medalist McArthur 2 says, “There is only one you – your authenticity is your distinct competitive advantage. No one can be you the way you can be” (2021 Laetare Medalist Address – Moreau Week Five). During my time at Notre Dame so far, I’ve especially realized the power of authenticity. When I’m not being my true self, I don’t surround myself with people who make me feel happy. When I am being my true self, I feel at home and am surrounded by people who make me incredibly happy and fulfilled. The only way I can find true, authentic friendships is to be my true, authentic self. Brene Brown said, “You cannot selectively numb emotion. When we numb the sad emotions, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness, and then we are miserable and looking for purpose and meaning” (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brene Brown – Moreau Week One). I’ve also learned during these first few weeks of college that being my true, authentic self means embracing moments of sadness, loneliness, and happiness and expressing those feelings to friends. The only way to enjoy an authentic relationship is to let others know how you are truly doing. In doing this, I’ve been able to generate greater and deeper connections with my friends, letting them into my life. Although it’s only October, I truly feel like I have friends that will be with me throughout the rest of college. Looking forward to the rest of the year, I want to continue being my authentic self in all settings – the classroom, clubs, and more – because I know this is the only way in which I will find true friendship and community here at Notre Dame. I also believe that my purpose is to love others. My time serving at the YoungLife camp also emphasized to me the importance of loving others. Although my sophomore year was characterized by fake friends, my time serving at camp led me to compassion for the girls who, just months earlier, I had been despising. I realized that the best way I could handle the situation was to extend compassion and love. They were most likely going through something that McArthur 3 prompted them to act in the manner that they were. I removed myself from the situation, but remained pleasant and kind, knowing that my role was to simply love them and extend compassion and grace. Other previous experiences have also emphasized to me the importance of loving others. This past summer, I struggled with realizing the reality of a toxic friendship. I had been friends with one girl since first grade. Our families were best friends and we were practically sisters, but I realized that I was not being treated in the way I deserved. Ultimately, the friendship ended, but at the end, I could only feel compassion for her and her home situation. I had to stand up for myself and my wellbeing, but I also simultaneously was able to feel compassion for what she was enduring. Being able to express such love has been liberating for me, allowing me to get rid of grudges and simply move on. Olivia T. Taylor said, “The best friendships are the ones where you leave with a smile on your face” (“5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship” by Olivia T. Taylor – Moreau Week Four). Although last summer I got rid of a toxic friendship, I also found five new life-giving friendships that made me incredibly happy. We hiked, adventured, and simply spent time together, which was extremely life-giving and fulfilling. I asked these friends how they were doing, how they felt about going to college soon, and more, knowing that the best way to love these new friends was to ask them about their life. David Brooks said, “Adam 1 asks how things work. Adam 2 asks why we’re here. Adam 1’s motto is success. Adam 2’s motto is love, redemption, and return” (“Should You Live for your Resume or Eulogy” by David Brooks – Moreau Week Two). During the year, I find myself tending towards an Adam 1 mindset, simply trying to get by and maintain good grades. However, recently I have been able to don an Adam 2 mindset. I do prioritize grades and schoolwork, but I also prioritize time spent in community with others. Focusing on an Adam 2 mindset means emphasizing love and compassion, which has had amazing impacts. My time at McArthur 4 Notre Dame so far has included prioritizing an Adam 2 mindset and focusing on loving others. Although I may not get along with everyone all the time, the way I can be my best self is by loving others and extending grace and compassion. Lastly, I believe that I grow by trying new things and stepping outside of my comfort zone. When I first came to college, I had a lot of implicit biases that I picked up by living near Seattle. Everyone has implicit biases but learning more about what mine were have allowed me to branch out and try new things. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie said, “The single story robs a person’s dignity. It makes our recognition of our equal humanity difficult. It emphasizes how we are different rather than how we are similar” (“Danger of a Single Story” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie – Moreau Week 7). Coming to Notre Dame, I encountered different people from many different backgrounds. But recognizing our equal humanity, our common dignity, has allowed me to be more open to new friendships and new experiences. People that I might not have befriended at home have become some of my closest friends, which has pushed me outside of my comfort zone, allowing me to grow. Professor David Fagerberg said, “God discloses himself, faith responds, and then we can see with new eyes … We don’t have to look elsewhere for God; we need only to look around. He’s there and the dawning faith sees him everywhere” (“Faith Brings Light to a Dark World” by Professor David Fagerberg – Moreau Week Three). Being away from home, away from family, and away from friends, has also allowed me to see God’s presence in my life. I’ve found myself riding my bike around campus simply being so grateful to be at Notre Dame and to be beginning this new chapter. A year ago, I dreamed of being here, and seeing God at work in my life in getting gateway has been amazing. New experiences like sailing club, becoming a YoungLife leader, and more have pushed me outside of my comfort zone and allowed me to grow, enabling me to identify God’s work in my life as He enables me to take McArthur 5 advantages of these new opportunities. As I continue this semester, I want to continue being open to new experiences and new friendships because I know doing this will allow me to grow.