Integration Grace McKenna Professor Taylor Moreau Experience 14 October, 2021 Not Where I am From But Who I am Many people submit to the phrase “I will believe it when I see it.” However, so far in my journey in life, I have learned that believing is something you cannot at all see, but rather it is a feeling of confidence inside to motivate yourself and others. Thrown into a new community where harder classes, busier schedules, and new faces everyday are the norm, it is extremely difficult to not only assimilate quickly into the new environment, but also to believe in your own abilities. Notre Dame has always been my dream school, a place where I believed magic existed. Though my journey took a different route through the Gateway Program my confidence has soared to new heights just by being here. Yet, like most new experiences they do not come without their challenges. The main obstacle has not only been to balance the new schedule, but also knowing everyone at college is a big fish. As a result, it's easy to feel even smaller—to think others are more intelligent, more athletic, more organized than you. However, through just a few weeks as a freshman being here, I have learned more about myself than ever. Through my experiences so far at the University of Notre Dame and in the ROTC program I have learned to believe in myself and that somehow it will all work out. But what do I really believe in? What is my future? These are the questions that have always challenged me day in and day out. Yet, there is light at the end of the tunnel as according to Dr. Brown, “Connection is why we are here. It's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives” (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week One). We need human interaction in https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&feature=youtu.be https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&feature=youtu.be order to feel, in order to learn how to love. Vulnerability is the first step to form connections, without it we cannot recognize our strength and weaknesses or the values we hope to practice and preach. The morals we are taught however, are at a constant battle. Joseph Soloveitchik, a rabbi who wrote the book “The Lonely Man of Faith,” explains that “these two-sides (Adam one and Adam two) of our nature are at war with each other”(Video: Should You Live for your Resume or Your Eulogy? (David Brooks, TED) by David Brooks - Moreau FYE Week Two). He argues that we have two different personalities, one based on strengths and success, the other, our inner eulogy values, built on humility, respect, and selflessness. In order to be the best version of yourself, one needs to grow in both these values, understanding how to be successful, while maintaining dignity and love for the others before you. Another aspect of believing is that of faith. While somewhat similar terms, faith has always been the actual action of exerting strong trust and confidence. David Fagerberg writes, “hope anchors the soul” to reveal that one can overcome any obstacle if they have the right mindset (Text: “Faith Brings Light to a Dark World” (Professor David Fagerberg, Grotto)Links to an external site. - Moreau FYE Week Three). With faith in my own future, even with hard classes and certain expectations already falling short, I truly believe that no matter what it will all work out. I know there is a reason I am here today, so I will continue to use my faith to guide me through the bumps in the road. However, there are times when my trust is shaken and I find myself thinking, “who knows if they are actually going to come” (Text: "5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship" (Olivia T. Taylor, Grotto)Links to an external site. - Moreau FYE Week Four). Whether it's your own friends bailing on you or plans that don’t come together, it's easy to pity yourself and lose trust in not only others but also in who you are as a person. Yet, because of where I am from and the values instilled in me, I have realized that though “the seasons changed https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM https://grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/belief/faith-brings-light-to-dark-world/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/belief/faith-brings-light-to-dark-world/?utm_source=fall_2021&utm_medium=class&utm_id=moreau https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ like people did, we stayed true and never hid” (Where I am From Poem- Moreau FYE Week Five). That no matter what, I am always called to be myself and not let other people control my day. This same message of being in control of my own destiny has led me to realize that failure is a strength not a weakness. Just as Fr. Kevin Grove related the establishment of Notre Dame to “ a response to the failure of the first one,” I, too must learn from my failures (https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=859bc1a8-0d0f-4eb4-a1c 1-d0a45c429187 by Fr. Kevin Grove - Moreau FYE Week Six). Success is viewed as the constant battle to keep climbing higher. Humanity is never satisfied, that when even on a peak, we want another bar to raise. However, if we look closely into true success, it is built on failure. The failure to realize one’s mistakes and improve on them. Notre Dame has always had the stereotype of prestige and easy success; however, that is not the full story. Just like Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie explains, “the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete” (Video: “Danger of a Single Story” (Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, TED)- Moreau FYE Week Seven). It is often easy to generalize a group of people or place without even realizing it. By looking at a course selection sheet, sometimes we only see a scary title too hard for us to try, or we see a group defined by their state, or a place in all its glory. However, these stereotypes hide the real power of identity. As a result, our existence circles back to vulnerability. If Notre Dame did not recognize its mistakes, it might not have improved to the powerful place we know it is today. Similarly, if we do not accept failure and our weaknesses then we cannot grow either. We must be vulnerable to develop not shame, but acceptance, not doubt, but courage. However, opening up especially in a new and diverse place, is easier said than done. Knowing your roots and inner values will https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=859bc1a8-0d0f-4eb4-a1c1-d0a45c429187 https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=859bc1a8-0d0f-4eb4-a1c1-d0a45c429187 https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_ngozi_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story make the transition much easier. That is why during the difficult times I try my best to take another perspective. Instead of stressing over the actual situation, I go back to the bigger picture of my beliefs. For life doesn't ever seem that bad because I believe my purpose is to connect with others. I believe that inner values are more important than outer ones. I believe that faith conquers all. I believe that trust is earned. I believe that failure is success.