Microsoft Word - Integration 2.docx What I Want to Do and Who I Want to Meet I learned rather quickly after getting to Notre Dame that you encounter a lot of new things when you go out into the world, or in this case a couple square miles of land in northern Indiana, by yourself you encounter a lot of new things. Some of these things are pretty mundane. Things such as worrying about how many flex points you’re spending and how to ration them across the entire semester, getting yourself up in the morning without a parent as a backup alarm, or having to actually go out and get food rather than having it already made for you by your mom. However, other things are a bit more serious such as living with a roommate, scheduling things by yourself, or dealing with the increased workload of college. While all of these things are important to learn how to handle there are bigger questions you come to encounter in college. Some of these big questions include what major do I want to do, what do I want to do in the future, and how do I build relationships with people. I’ve personally encountered two of those bigger questions in my time here so far and while one of them is becoming clearer for me, the other has remained rather cloudy. Those questions are what do I want to do in the future and how do I build relationships with people. The question of what someone wants to do in the future is a question everyone has to encounter at some point. Some people know what they’re going to do from a really young age. Other people don’t figure out what they want to do until they are adults and actually start looking for jobs. Others still decide on a thing then reevaluate and decide on a different thing and do so over and over until they find the one thing they know they want to do. The point is everyone has their own paths to discovering what they want to do with their lives. For me, like many people, that time has come in college. This is not an easy thing for me though as I am a very indecisive person. In the Wesley Theological Seminary commencement speech Father Jenkins talks about how those graduates used their conviction to get to where they were and accomplish what they had accomplished (“Wesley Theological Seminary 2012 Commencement Address” by Father John Jenkins – Moreau FYE Week 10). This conviction is what was making this question difficult for me, but more specifically, my lack of conviction is what made it difficult. Then again, it is difficult to have conviction making a decision you don’t know that much about. However, this changed throughout the semester. As Father James King says about Holy Cross and Christian education, zeal is developed when we act on what we have learned and experienced in and out of the classroom (“Holy Cross and Education” by Father James B. King – Moreau FYE Week 12). Throughout this semester I would say I have developed a certain amount of zeal, along with conviction, with regards to this question of what I want to do with my life. Through my engineering classes and panels, I have gone to regarding future job opportunities I have become confident enough to at least significantly narrow my field of view with regards to what I am looking to do. Even though I haven’t figured out exactly what I want to do in the future though, I feel I have developed enough conviction and zeal with regards to this question to be in a good place to take my new focused view and finally make an exact decision. The other big question I’ve run into since getting to college is how I form relationships with people. In our reading about the thirteen ways of looking at community Parker Palmer says in the first way of looking at community that “community is not a goal to be achieved but a gift to be received” (“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community” by Parker J. Palmer – Moreau FYE Week 11). For me though, community has rarely been a thing that has just fallen into my lap and that has been no different coming here. I’ve run into somewhat of a similar situation as Emery Bergmann did when she got to Cornell where she inexplicably found that she was on the outside looking in of a lot of groups of friends despite being a rather social person in high school (“Advice From a Formerly Lonely College Student” by Emery Bergmann – Moreau FYE Week 9). While I’ve run into a similar predicament here it isn’t exactly surprising upon some self- reflection. I haven’t been a very social person my entire life. I’ve typically been satisfied with having a few good friends rather than trying to force myself into large groups of friends. I also tend to be rather introverted, so I like to spend a decent amount of time hanging out by myself. So, a combination of these things about me and the daunting task of meeting new people in a new environment you aren’t comfortable in yet has led to somewhat poor results on the relationship building end for me. However, it isn’t that I don’t have people I will get lunch with on occasion or talk to in classes because I do have a couple people like that. My issue is more with developing those relationships and making them more than just the occasional lunch or classroom conversation. While I still struggle along this front though, I do think I’ve made a decent amount of progress recently compared to where I was when I got here. Everyone when they go to college has to encounter new situations and questions about everything from simple day to day tasks like scheduling, to the bigger question of life like what do you want to do with your life. This no different for me as I have encountered two big questions. What do I want to do in the future and how do I form relationships with people. I have had very different degrees of success answering these two questions with what I want to do becoming much clearer throughout the semester while I am still struggling with the relationships question. However, even though I am still struggling with one of those questions, I feel like I have made good progress answering my questions and dealing with the situations I’ve encountered over this semester.