Week 8 - Integration 3


Jamie Reintjes

Moreau Integration 3

Note: This eulogy takes place as if I were to die in the present moment. I believe a well-lived life
can be expressed by someone even if they are unable to complete the “full life” that is expected.
Additionally, I believe it is enlightening to reflect on how we are currently living a well-lived life,
not just waiting to “fulfill” a well-lived life. That being said, it must be clear that I am in a sound
mental space to be reflecting on death and I am not expressing any suicidal ideations by imagining
a scenario where I die today.

The Gift of Love

Thank you all for coming. I am sorry that we could not be meeting under happier

circumstances. I was supposed to be coming to Kansas City to perform with my dear friend for who

many of you are here today; unfortunately, that is not what God had planned for. As much as it

pains me to acknowledge that Jamie is no longer with us, I feel compelled to comfort both myself

and everyone in attendance today by remembering all the beautiful experiences that Jamie has left

us with.

Jamie was kind. They were giving and welcoming to new experiences. I look back at all the

times we got lunch together or just hung out. Our discussions were always deep and heartfelt.

Jamie was there to listen and understand, I know that many of us can remember the space Jamie

would provide for us when we were struggling through something. My relationship with Jamie was

special because of how open they were. I always felt comfortable going to them and it was easy to

bring up any topic that crossed my mind. Jamie was a good friend and an amazing person, and I

remember fondly the time I got to spend with them. It was wonderful getting to know them in just

this short time and I am amazed at the life they lead for and with others.

I remember the times we would be up late together, talking about life and all the various

complexities it brought with it, and the love Jamie expressed outwardly towards others was and still

is deeply felt amongst us today, I believe. I do not know if I have ever known a friend who could be

as intimate as Jamie was, and they always sought out ways to display this intimacy towards others.

Whether it was late at night and you would receive a text from Jamie telling you how much you



meant to them and how much they appreciated the friendship you had with them, or the hugs Jamie

would give you if it had been “too long” since you had last seen each other, Jamie loved you guys.

It was not only just the space Jamie gave you when you were with them alone, but Jamie

always seemed to strive for including everyone into their family. Jamie was an intimate person, and

wanted to be close with almost everyone they encountered. At parties or get-togethers, you would

never see Jamie in one spot for very long. They were always moving in the crowds, making sure to

say “Hi!” to everyone they knew and catching up with all their friends. Speaking of get togethers,

Jamie was always one of the first people there to offer help when help was needed. Either cleaning

up a spilled drink or ordering an Uber, Jamie always wanted to make sure that everyone was okay

before getting to relax themself.

What was so special about Jamie’s desire for friendship was that it’s tenderness made you

feel like you were part of a family. In Glee Club especially, Jamie was always excited not only to

perform great music, but was excited that they were singing and sharing space with a diverse

group of people who were deeply invested in each other’s wellbeing. Jamie loved the Glee Club very

much and loved being a part of this great community here. They made me love Glee Club all the

more just by their enthusiasm and investment into the Notre Dame Glee Club. Jamie was not just

about making friends, they were about extending their family out to include everyone that they

could possibly meet and I will never forget the love Jamie showed me, and to everyone around them.

As difficult as it can sometimes be with family members, Jamie above all strove to love

their family no matter what. While I was preparing for this eulogy, I wanted to take the time to

introduce myself to Jamie’s family and get to know them. In the brief amount of time I spent with

them, it appeared to me that Jamie’s parents felt like they were not always there for them. And I

stand before you with the faith that Jamie would reject this. Even though Jamie was only just

beginning to understand who they were in the world, I believe that Jamie would say that they loved

their parents very much. That even when you guys fought, Jamie wanted nothing more than to make

their parents proud and I stand here to say that Jamie loved you all very very much. Jamie was not

one to begrudge those closest to them, so in this time of mourning, I ask you all to have the faith



that Jamie loved you and still loves you, no matter what quarrels may have taken place between you

and them (Why the Only Future Worth Building Includes Everyone by His Holiness Pope Francis –

Week 7 FYE Moreau) .

Recognizing the love that emanates from the hearts of each of us here today, and

recognizing Jamie’s love for us, I feel compelled to reminisce on death as a concluding thought. As

many of you know, or will now know, Jamie was quite fascinated with the nature of death, and their

fascination stemmed not from a place of suffering, but from one that recognized the very hard fact

that one day they would die (Remember You Will Die by Ruth Graham – Week 3 FYE Moreau).

Even though Jamie’s body will be returned to the earth and we are forever prevented from seeing

their smiling face again, Jamie saw this as one last act of giving. By giving up their physical body,

Jamie saw new life to inevitably spring up from within them. And so, when we think of Jamie, do not

just remember the person they were in life, but also recognize that even in death they are

continuing to show their love for us. As their body rejoins the earth, their soul returns to the

source of all existence. And as the earth gives birth to new trees that give us air, one of those

trees will be born out of Jamie’s corpse. And not only will this new Jamie provide us with breath,

but so too will Jamie provide for everyone, just as they wished to achieve in life. Remember this

love, a love that exceeds beyond death and reaches into the core of each and everyone of us here

today. This is the life Jamie strove for, and has achieved in death.

https://www.ted.com/talks/his_holiness_pope_francis_why_the_only_future_worth_building_includes_everyone/transcript
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/us/memento-mori-nun.html