Microsoft Word - Integration 3.docx Eulogy Integration 3 Moreau First Year Experience March 4, 2022 Life Emily’s Way and How to Do It Yourself It is not often that someone is able to write their own eulogy and reflect on their life. Eulogies typically chronical accomplishments, memories, and general reflections on who the person that passed away was. I hope to also integrate my philosophy for life and the messages I would like to share as the rest of you continue the life, I was so lucky to be a part of. My first memory of eulogies and my inspiration for this comes from 2012 when my grandfather passed away and my mom was invited to give his eulogy. Music was important to him, so my mom worked hard to craft a eulogy that’s structure even reflected my grandfather. She talked about the music important to him pausing at different points in her talk to play different segments of songs. Ironically, I have taken such a positive and creative view on eulogies from this. I learned to see the beauty in death and the joy in an opportunity to celebrate the entirety of someone’s life that cannot be fully experienced while they are alive. Following much of the same view as famous Sister Aletheia, I would hope each one of you finds the same peace in an inevitable end (“Meet the nun who wants you to remember that you will die” by Ruth Graham - Moreau FYE Week 3). I chose to look at life’s flexible and unpredictable nature as freedom from permanency or deep failure because you can always pivot. I certainly took each opportunity to make a big decision seriously as many of you listened to hours of college decisions, major discernment, and job changes over my life because they presented me with the opportunity to become a truer version of myself and live a more impactful life. Unpredictability and inevitable death invited me to seize every opportunity weather it was the impulsive get-togethers with friends and family I will be remembered for or chaotic drawn- out conversations overthinking each decision. I wanted to make the most of life, and I am proud to say I did. I never let myself stay in one place moving from Seattle to Indiana for college and bouncing from the Midwest, West coast, and East coast until finally finding one home just in time to start my family. I took the time to talk with others who knew me best or knew my goals because it was important for me to have a plan as I made any changes in life(“Week Five Discernment Conversation Activity Document” by Moreau FYE Instructors – Moreau FYE Week 5). I wanted to follow a process of looking at my strengths, what inspired me and how I could apply that to new goals (“Navigating Your Career Journey” by Meruelo Family Center for Career Development- Moreau FYE Week 4). I was the chronic list maker, “let’s write this down” and expectations setter in personal and group settings. I wanted to make sure I was sensitive to the way my changes or action plans would impact others and as a leader I wanted to ensure each person was included. I was known as a transparent leader who knew what I wanted and how my values connected to my pursuits. I always strove to embody Fr. Hesburgh of Notre Dame, not just because I loved the school and Notre Dame football so much, but because of what Fr. Hesburgh stood for and accomplished in this life. Yes, I am admittedly very happy to say I will be remembered for my love of Notre Dame and the chronic Colleran family obsession with Notre Dame football. You can’t tell me my dad and I won’t be having the time of our lives watching every Notre Dame game together from now on. Back to Fr. Hesburgh though, he knew from a young age that service to God and others for God was a part of his calling. He never waned from his convictions and didn’t let the complications of life pull him away from that goal (“Hesburgh” by Jerry Barca and Christine O’Malley - Moreau FYE Week 2). It is no mistake he is still remembered so vividly and lovingly. My goal was always to be a person present to and loving others. I was seldom alone, and I treasured time with others more than anything. I committed myself to my friends from those of you who knew me in Seattle, at Notre Dame and beyond. I tried my best to not lose touch when I found so much love for you. Family was an equally important love. My husband and our children were my everything and my pride and compassion never waned. I loved my relatives, parents and brother Joe as we all grew, and never stopped talking with them. Friends and family, I love you all so much, and I excited to keep showing up to you even if I am a quieter presence now. Keep seeing each one of your family members who are still around and continue to enter your life. I hope I instilled the importance of family and friends as your everything. Like Fr. Boyle and Pope Francis often remarked we are much more alike than different and the common humanity we each hold should bring each of you closer together (“Chapter 8: Jurisdiction” by Fr. Gregory Boyle and “Why the only future worth building includes everyone” by His Holiness Pope Francis - Moreau FYE Week 7). Love drove my relationships, and it should with yours as well. The simpler you view your inherent connection to others and more deeply you see your love for them, the easier it can be to create such a large network of love and joy. I attribute gratitude to a significant part of the joy, calm and success of my life. It was not an easy journey for me to find this gratitude and prayer, but once I discovered their power, I was able to overcome any set back and grow more into the person I strove to be. After finding myself lost and depressed senior year of high school and happier than I could describe freshman year of college, I knew gratitude would be the key to transforming my life and maintaining such positivity and kindness toward myself and others. Each day I would walk around Notre Dame’s campus and find myself incredibly thankful for where I had ended up. In just three months, I completely transformed the person I was internally. I rediscovered my love for school, healthy friendships, renewed self-confidence, a true relationship with my parents and so much more because I understood the value in each of these aspects in life. I had spent years taking for granted my even keel nature and ability to compartmentalize issues that I let things build up and spent too long finding flaws. This is not a story about why I struggled, and I still don’t fully know what led me to the place I was senior year of high school, but I know waking up every day in awe of the life I got to live that first year at Notre Dame changed me. I never let that excitement and gratitude disappear. I wouldn’t let it because I actually learned there was always something to be thankful for. Dr. Kim and the Grotto network talk very candidly about the impact fullness of a simple few moments of gratitude each day. Dr. Kim laments human tendency to see gratitude and prayer as something that needs to take up extensive time during the day or follow a long process when really any moment of calm can become a time to pray and give thanks (“5 Minutes” by Aria Swarr - Moreau FYE Week 6). It took me a few years to learn this but realizing that a simple walk or dive somewhere could be my time to pray and thank God changed much of who I was and the way I saw life. Kevin Kelly also touched on the phenomenon of gratitude because it grounds us in ourselves. He saw gratitude as a way to define your life and dreams beyond the business of life and constant stimulation of technology in today’s world (“Why we need to slow down our lives” by Pico Iyer - Moreau FYE Week 1). My moments walking across campus my first year disconnected me from my phone and other people’s ideas, worried and expectations to allow me to find myself and discover the themes in my prayers of thanks. I saw that my friends were important to me but so was my learning. This helped me continue to push myself in my jobs and endeavors because I discovered the importance of learning. It was often you could hear me talking about a new reading, class or job assignment that pushed my thinking and tested my skills. I learned many things, and even Nerdy Emily became her true self through my granitite each day. I hope I kept you all interested and happy. Think about how big I am smiling right now and how much I would want to laugh with and hug each of you one last time. Don’t make my passing a time to mourn and see this as a celebration of a life I know I lived well. If this church is anywhere near full, I will know I was successful in surrounding myself with people who I loved. You all made my life a “life well lived,” and I hope my examples can help make your life a “life well lived.”