My Adventures at Notre Dame 1 Jenson Gunawan Tjoa Professor Oswald Moreau First Year Experience 02 December 2021 My Adventures at Notre Dame What are some of the most important questions I’ve asked this semester? What has grown or decreased in importance as a result of my Notre Dame journey thus far? What was previously “black and white” that is now more ambiguous, nuanced, or complicated? What was once ambiguous or vague that now holds greater clarity? After just 6 months in Notre Dame, a lot in my life has changed. The relationships I built, the hope I lost, but then found again, the failures I encountered, and the challenges I faced in my community have given me the clarity I needed to move on and excel during my journey at Notre Dame as well as after graduation. Some important questions I have asked this semester include: If we don’t meet certain expectations, is there a way to stop feeling like we’re not good enough? How do I recognize when there are challenges in my community? How do I regain the hope I lost?, and What is a good way to connect, bond and join with different communities from different cultures? Setting expectations in general are good as they can help us improve on our failures. Studying here at Notre Dame, I also set up expectations for myself in certain classes to make sure that I am doing well. If I fall below my expectations or a class’ expectations, that would let me know that I need to work harder to get my grades up. For example, if I currently have a B in my writing class and I’m aiming for an A, these expectations would motivate me to put extra time towards my essay, improving and revising as needed. However, as mentioned by Julia 2 Hogan, “None of them tell me that they believe they are living a fulfilling life when they let their self-worth be defined by these external expectations” (“Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit” by Julia Hogan - Moreau FYE Week 9). This quote is very important because while it is important to set certain goals in your life, you shouldn’t let them define you. Just because you didn’t get an A in a certain class does not mean that you are worth any less than your peers. You shouldn’t compare yourself to others, especially if they make you feel bad about your accomplishments. The most important thing is that you try your best and have hope that things will work out. As a result, my accomplishments and expectations out of Notre Dame have both grown and decreased in importance. On one hand, I’ve been doing my best in participating and contributing in core classes and clubs, helping me grow and learn as a scholar and as a person. On the other, I don’t let peer pressure/competition about grades stress me out so much as I don’t feel that it is as important. Sure, it is very important to me that I get good grades, but I’m not willing to sacrifice my health, sleep as well as the many relationships that I have built here in Notre Dame go to waste just to get a better grade than my friend. In the future, I will set expectations such as job applications that I believe are beneficial to me and my growth, not for a petty competition. Stereotypes and racism used to be black and white to me. Now, it feels a little bit ambiguous. Sometimes, jokes that people make can be funny. But other times, they can often hurt others in ways you can’t expect. Drawing the line between a joke and something offensive can be a bit complicated. When eating at North dining hall, I made a rather stereotypical joke that, in my head at the time, wouldn't hurt anyone. I thought it was just a joke, but some people took it deeply and were offended by what I said. Obviously, I apologized and we are still friends https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/ https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/letting-go-of-expectations/ 3 right now, but that encounter made me realize that Notre Dame is very different from the culture in high school I’m used to. There is a much bigger diversity going on around campus. Each classroom and dorm is filled with people from different countries in Asia, North America, South America, and Europe. In my high school, everyone was from Asia so there wasn’t much diversity. I realize that I should be careful with the jokes I make because different people here come from different backgrounds and they may take the joke to mean something different. However, I am grateful for Notre Dame’s diversity. I love meeting new people and learning about how their life was different from mine. “Exposure and access to different viewpoints and life experiences offer insights and change biases” ("Diversity Matters!" by Prof. Agustin Fuentes - Moreau FYE Week 11). The people I’ve met in my Business classes and dorms as well as Notre Dame clubs such as Notre Dame Investment Club and Notre Dame Habitat for Humanity have helped me create bonds with people from all walks of life. Strengthening the bond with others requires an introduction and just talking. Most of the time, you’ll find some similarity between you and your friends that can deepen your relationship and all this requires is that you get out of your comfort zone. Although I’m an introvert, I still want to make friends here at Notre Dame so I talk to people in classes and clubs to form life-long bonds. Next semester, I would like to join several clubs such as the Asia Business Society and the Student International Business Club (SIBC) to meet people from different cultures. Joining Asian Business Society will allow me to meet with people who come from similar backgrounds as I do. Also, from what I understand SIBC is a huge club filled with so many different people. There is no doubt in my mind that I can bond and make friends with new people while I’m there. https://notredame.hosted.panopto.com/Panopto/Pages/Viewer.aspx?id=d14a0472-9c0e-44ea-bd39-53c67ee1d436 4 Before coming to Notre Dame, hope has always been unclear or vague to me. That’s because hope is something intangible. I can't see or hold it. Attending a Catholic instead of a secular institution has strengthened my spirituality and my relationship with God. The presence of God is everywhere on campus, from the Grotto, Basilica, and most of all, the godly character conveyed through both Notre Dame staff and my peers. When making a decision on which college I should ultimately attend, I fully resonated with Notre Dame’s motto “The mind shall not be cultivated at the expense of the heart.” Every week here at Notre Dame, I attend the basilica for mass on Sundays, or even when I sleep in, I attend the dorm mass that is available at night. Coming to mass together with my peers and roommate to worship God has allowed me to feel hope. Although I personally believe in God and the hope that he brings, “one does not have to be a Christian to believe that adversity does, or at least can, make people stronger and prepare them for harder challenges in the future” (Holy Cross Chirstian and Education by Rev. James B. King, C.S.C. - Moreau FYE Week 12). Living and growing in hope is to believe that good things will always come to you as you do good deeds. We shouldn’t give up when facing the obstacles our adversities provide us. What we should do is stand up and fight harder for what we believe in. Growing in hope also means not letting go of our faith and our own personal beliefs. As I continue towards my next semester, I will continue to attend church masses that the University of Notre Dame provides so I can strengthen the hope I have in God. Often, in the Basilica, the priest mentions programs for people around the community of South Bend and students at the Holy Cross and St Mary’s Community Colleges. During my next 4 years at Notre Dame, I might want to take part in one of those programs and create bonds with new people around me. https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/28199/files/192813 5 As Notre Dame students, we all have to live in a dorm and be part of the dorm culture. Well, a few weeks ago, I had a fight with my roommate about how to keep the room clean as well as having people over. Thankfully, it’s all resolved now and there are no hard feelings. In fact, I believe that my relationship with him has gotten stronger because of it. The quote, “I want people to know that their hearts are breakable, and it’s a very good thing, because it allows you to grow and expand” (Women Find Healing Through Kintsugi Workshop by Grotto (Kristen-kintsugi artist) - Moreau FYE Week 10). I was actually able to experience that here at Notre Dame. After having the heated conversation and just shouting out our feelings, we started really talking about what was bothering us and made an attempt to compromise. I actually understood him better and felt closer and more comfortable to him after the encounter. Likewise, when there is trouble or dissonance in your community, people should just speak their concerns and advocate for change when needed. With just open honesty and talking, I believe we could solve most of the challenges we face both in our communities and our lives. As I continue here in Notre Dame, undoubtedly, I will face challenges and dissonance that may let me down or hurt me. During my time here, I would like to make more friends and also develop relationships with professors in subjects that I love. Maybe I could be a teacher’s assistant for one of those classes. This would require me getting out of my comfort zone but that’s ok. My first semester here at Notre Dame taught me that it’s good to go out of my comfort zone and just try to talk with the people around campus. Most colleagues and staff here are very friendly and Moraeu has taught me they’re here to help me and that's a resource I would be more than happy to use. https://grottonetwork.com/make-an-impact/heal/find-healing-through-kintsugi-art/