Continuing to Grow One of the important questions I have been asking myself through my time here has been “do I fit in?” Ever since I got here I have been asking myself this question. Going to Notre Dame has truly made me step out of my comfort zone. First, I have spent most of my life in Manila, Philippines, although there are some similarities with the culture given that we were colonized by the United States, the culture is still very different and it has been quite difficult to adjust. Although I believe that with globalization, I have had access to many different movies and shows that have allowed me to understand American culture as well as my dad growing up in the US and having a lot of family here that I have been able to visit, I feel like I had a grasp of how it would be like here. Though I believe that it has still not been exactly the same as what I expected. I didn’t really ever know what it was like to be a minority. I was also very unsure if I even deserve to be here. I was very surprised when I got the acceptance letter to Notre Dame. I was not sure if I truly deserved to be accepted here. The Week 9 material gave me clarity and helped me realize that what I was feeling was imposter syndrome--something I wasn’t very sure of before. “Intense feelings of imposterism can prevent people from sharing their great ideas or applying for jobs and programs where they would excel...At least so far, the most surefire way to combat imposter syndrome is to talk about it...You can combat your own imposter syndrome by collecting and revisiting positive feedback.” (“What is Imposter Syndrome?" by Elizabeth Cox, TED-Ed - Moreau FYE Week 9) I feel like positive feedback is very important here such that we understand that there are reasons why we receive these rewards and we should not put ourselves down simply because we think other people are better than us. I feel like social media is one of the things that really brings us down. Because we see everyone posting their accomplishments on social media and showing that they are happy and living a “good life” we tend to feel bad about ourselves. We often compare ourselves to others--but not even a realistic version of others but an unrealistic version of them--the version of them that they present on social media. If we do not compare ourselves with others I realized that there are some ways that social media can actually be beneficial. For instance with Emery Bergmann who said “I had students from all over the country reach out to me and express their experiences, thanking me for making them feel less alone. Administrators from various universities wrote to me asking for permission to show the video to their freshman class.” (“Advice from a Formerly Lonely College Student” by Emery Bergmann, NY Times - Moreau FYE week 9) Social Media is one of the ways that we can realize that we are not alone in this imposter syndrome. I believe that another way is to talk to others about it and to reflect. I have tried to decrease my social media use but I still use it often because it is one of the ways that I can connect with my friends who are back home in Manila--which I am very thankful for. But I realized that I should not compare myself with others as much on social media because I know that it is unrealistic. I have also placed much less importance on my social media accounts following which was something put too much importance on before because I felt insecure about it. Given that I am a minority ethnic group, I have also been questioning the way that living in America is different for different groups of people. I feel like it is very wrong that the system works this way. According to Christopher J. Devron, SJ, “Known in C.S.T. as imago Dei, it holds that each human person is created in the likeness and image of God and is therefore deserving of dignity and respect.” ("Should Catholic Schools Teach Critical Race Theory?” by Christopher J. Devron, S.J., America Magazine - Moreau FYE Week 10) Knowing that we are all equal, why then do people get treated differently just because of their skin color. I am really happy that this was one of the readings that was given for Moreau. I feel like it is very important for people to realize the privileges that we have and try our best to move towards a more equal and just society. I feel like it is also very important for people to educate themselves outside of school about various issues. With social media, fake news is one of the biggest issues today. Some people post things on social media without fact checking and their friends may blindly believe it. With research we are able to figure out the truth and also spread the truth to others. It is also important to be aware of history and the way things came to be. For instance, race itself is a social construct. According to Prof. Fuentes, “‘race’ as we use the term and classification is not a reflection of biological groups. Therefore patterned differences that occur between what we call ‘Races’ are not caused by inherent biological differences in these ‘Races.’ They are due to social, historical, political, economic and experiential contexts and are changeable.” (“Diversity Matters” by Prof. Agustin Fuentes - Moreau FYE Week 11) Other than the teachings of the church, there is also no rational, scientific reason that we should be treating others differently based on something as trivial as the color of their skin. Furthermore, I believe that it is important to have a very diverse network of people. “Exposure and access to different viewpoints and life experiences offers insight and changes biases.” (Diversity Matters, Prof. Agustin Fuentes, Moreau FYE Week 11) I am trying to meet as many people as I can to understand as many different backgrounds as possible and try to become a less biased person. It is not good to judge a book by its cover--I think I need to get to know people better and build solid relationships with others. I used to believe that punishment was just black and white, those who break the law should be punished but given that there is even systemic discrimination I believe that we should thoroughly examine the criminal justice system and the government as a whole such that this inequality is removed such that everyone regardless of how we look can live in this country and this world equally. “One does not have to be a Christian to believe that adversity does, or at least can, make people stronger and prepare them for harder challenges in the future, but no education in the faith is complete without an understanding of how the cross is much more than a burden once carried by Jesus. It was for Moreau “a treasure more valuable than gold and precious stones.” (CL, 34) In both light and shadow, the cross is Christ’s gift to us, our only hope. Moreau’s trust in the cross is the essential component of his legacy, and its influence can be found in the final section of the Congregation’s Constitutions, written more than a century after his death: We must be men with hope to bring. There is no failure the Lord’s love cannot reverse, no humiliation he cannot exchange for blessing, no anger He cannot dissolve, no routine He cannot transfigure. All is swallowed up in victory. He has nothing but gifts to offer. It remains only for us to find how even the cross can be borne as a gift. (8:118)” (“Hope Holy Cross and Christian Education” by Fr. James B. King, C.S.C., Moreau FYE Week 12) I believe that hope is something that is very important for each and every one of us and is not something that is unique to Christianity. The second half of this semester has been full of ups and downs. I have made quite a good amount of new friends and became closer to the friends that I have already made. Unfortunately, because I didn’t book a flight early to visit my family in New York early enough for thanksgiving, the prices went up and I had to stay here for the holiday. Though I am happy that I am able to spend this time with my friends who stayed here as we celebrated thanksgiving in the Fisher basement, as we cooked up ramen noodles. I am thankful that our rector cooked us mac and cheese and chicken nuggets and we had a little thanksgiving feast. Looking back at the second half of the semester so far, I struggled a little more with my classes than I did in the beginning. I had a hard time as the content got more difficult and didn’t do very well in one of my exams. But I know that struggling can help me learn. I believe it is very important to learn from my mistakes so I can do better in the future. I feel that without hardship, without suffering, you would not be able to fully appreciate life. Because if your entire life is sunshine and rainbows, you won't really know when you're happy, and you won't truly comprehend what the good times are. Adversity teaches us to appreciate the good times while also making us stronger people capable of facing any obstacle that comes our way. The thought that Jesus is our only source of hope struck me as quite compelling. On the cross, Jesus gave his life for us; he carried the cross, knowing that it would be the place where he would be crucified. We all have our own challenges nowadays, whether it's with money, school, employment, or relationships. We must recognize that Jesus is there to assist us in carrying our crosses and that he will see us through. Therefore I believe that I should never give up.