March 3, 2022
Moreau

Just Be As You Are

	Coming up with a definition to a life well-lived is a challenge that I find both daunting and difficult to grasp. The truth is, when I think about the future, I can never see anything past my mid-thirties. Even then, I don’t have a clue what I’ll be doing tomorrow, let alone when I'm thirty-five. It would be nice to go to space, discover the solution to climate change, fix the inequitable education system, be the face of feminism, and maybe cure cancer. But, when I imagine all of these achievements that I could only dream of, I realize that none of them would truly bring me happiness; the people would. The people that I would get to do it with and the people that I would get to do it for. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, or in a month, or in fifteen years, but I know that I can try my best to positively impact the people who are here in my present today. Thus, I have come to the definition of a life well-lived as a life characterized by bringing happiness and taking risks: in always trying my best to improve myself and improve others’ lives, in loving like hearts don’t break, and in putting myself out there to both the best and the worst experiences. 
	I have always been somewhat of an overachiever, and I pride myself upon this ambition. Recently, however, I’ve realized that I don’t necessarily need to be always working or accomplishing things to grow as a person. As long as I always try my best, it’s okay to fail sometimes because it allows me to better myself in different ways. For example, today I got my organic chemistry exam score back, and I was sad for a little while but I realized that one number on my computer screen won’t define my life or my future. In fact, putting my best effort into bettering myself and bettering other people’s lives should be about learning what I am passionate about and not about getting the highest grades. In week 4 of Moreau, we discussed major and career paths, and the effect that these decisions might have on living a life well-lived. The quote that I chose for that week was "there is no ‘best major’ out there, but there is a ‘best major for you’” (“Navigating Your Career Journey” by Meruelo Family Center for Career Development - Moreau FYE Week 4). I often get stressed out because it seems like my grades will impact my career options which will impact my ability to live a good life, but in actuality, living a good life is about learning things that I actually find interesting and using that knowledge to bring happiness to others, no matter what career path that leads me on. In addition, although it is important for self-growth to challenge myself in learning and working, taking time to recuperate is also a very important part of this self-growth. Pico Iyer states in his Ted Talk from week 1 of Moreau that, “the more time I spend away from my work, the better that work will be” (“Why we need to slow down our lives” by Pico Iyer - Moreau FYE Week 1). I totally agree with this, and actually learn about how bad a lack of sleep and rest is in my psychology classes almost every day. I often laughed about this because I thought Notre Dame makes it very hard for students to get a proper amount of sleep and rest, but I realized this semester that if I make it a priority in my life, it’s possible to get a full 8 hours of sleep every night. In order to bring happiness and help others, I need to help myself first.
	Although I hope to bring happiness to other people, including strangers, I also think it is really important in a life well-lived to create genuine relationships that can bring happiness to me. This takes courage, because building these types of relationships means opening myself up to others and being vulnerable. Without this vulnerability, however, other people wouldn’t be able to add to my life and help me to become a better person. In week five of Moreau, we participated in a discernment activity with a close friend, and the question that I thought was the hardest to ask was “What is something that is difficult to say but important for me to hear?” (“Week Five Discernment Conversation Activity” - Moreau FYE Week 5). Allowing other people to get to know you so well that they can see both your best and worst sides is scary, and it’s equally as scary to let them tell you about what they see. However, that scary question definitely stretched my self-awareness the most in the activity and made me realize how much our close friends and family can contribute to our self-growth and our lives. In addition, I think I was always scared of being vulnerable because I thought that if I loved someone so much and then something went wrong, I would never survive. But, the opposite is true: I can’t survive without loving other people, even if that means I might get hurt. In his Ted Talk, the Pope asserted, “each and everyone’s existence is deeply tied to that of others: life is not time merely passing by, life is about interactions” (“Why the only future worth building includes everyone” by His Holiness Pope Francis - Moreau FYE Week 7). As humans, we are social creatures, and we need interactions and love in our lives, or else nothing has meaning. So, instead of being scared of making these connections with others, I hope that in my lifetime I can take advantage of every opportunity to love other people and grow in these interactions. 
	The final part of my definition to a life well-lived lies in experiencing the entire span of human emotions in the highs and lows of life. In philosophy, my professor posed this question: if you could take a pill that would somehow get rid of all the pain in your life, would you take it? For me, I wouldn’t, because I think an essential part of living a good life is experiencing the pain, which comes with taking risks. Without something to oppose it, happiness wouldn’t mean anything. Dr. Kim’s story showed that although it sucks when bad things happen to us, sometimes these are the things that we need the most to help us grow. He says, “I encourage all of us to just focus on what we can do for others instead of what we cannot do and what we have not done yet” (“Five Minutes” by Aria Swarr - Moreau FYE Week 6). It’s totally okay to be angry and upset sometimes, but there are certain situations that we cannot change and so we must move forward and use them as a learning experience. Having these moments of sadness, grief, and pain, also helps us to appreciate the best moments of our lives that much more. Although I don’t really like to think about death, I agree with Sister Aletheia’s statement that “it’s actually in facing the darkest realities of life that we find light in them” (“Meet the nun who wants you to remember that you will die” by Ruth Graham - Moreau FYE Week 3). There are so many dark moments in life and inevitable hardships, because life isn’t perfect. But that’s the best part of it. Knowing that you can get through the worst parts is necessary for appreciating and loving the best parts. Father Hesburgh is someone who I would definitely consider as having led a life well-lived, and in the Hesburgh documentary, the first quote was “it is impossible to have a complete and honest human story if one doesn’t speak of human failings as well as human successes” (“Hesburgh” by Jerry Barca and Christine O’Malley - Moreau FYE Week 2). It is easier said than done, but I hope to never live in fear of failure and to keep in mind that if something hurts really badly, that just means that I gave it all I had.
	So, if future me is reading this and wondering if 18 year old me would be proud of my life, these are the things that I hope for. I hope that you always strive to leave the world better than you found it, let others into the deepest and weirdest parts of your heart, and rise up to challenges as they present themselves. But, I also hope that you take more naps, drink more boba, fail sometimes, lay on your bed and wonder what is the actual point of studying the chemistry of carbon atoms, and even get your heart broken multiple times. You don’t have to solve all of the world’s problems (although it’s good to try) or be someone whose name appears on the cover of a history book. Just be as you are.