Moreau First Year Experience
Integration One
15 October 2021
Vulnerability, Failure, and Gateway: The Resilience to Overcome
	Gateway was hardly my first choice. When I first received the letter, I thought to myself “I didn’t get into Notre Dame, time to focus on other applications and move on”. At that time, I didn’t see myself going to Notre Dame even if I had gotten in normally. It was by no means my first choice, and I was not very upset, more so just disappointed that the first decision I received in the college application process and ultimately disappointed that I had to face rejection, since I had supreme confidence that I was going to get in, even if I didn’t attend.  I forgot about Gateway for a while, focused on applications to in-state California schools that I was set on attending. But with the COVID-19 pandemic altering grades and testing, record numbers of applicants, and being stuck on jam-packed waitlists, admission to the UCs became increasing difficult, and I ultimately did not get into any of the UC schools I applied to. This was a source of real frustration, I was on some waitlists, but the odds were slim, and they ultimately didn’t work out. I knew I was highly qualified, knew I could have gotten in, felt I should have gotten in, felt lost and upset. The rest of the college application process seemed like a daze. What am I going to do? It was at this point where I first started to revisit the idea of gateway. At the end of the day, it was one of my better options, and even though I wasn’t in love with the idea of Notre Dame, especially considering I would have to spend my freshman year at Holy Cross, I ended up committing to gateway unsure of what was to come. I clicked ‘accept’ on my offer hours before the deadline, and here I am today.
	The reason I share my unique and winding road to get to the gateway program was because I, along with all my gateway peers, took a risk coming here. It was nobody’s first choice. We all had other plans, but we took the bold steps to do something that was difficult, something that was different, to ultimately achieve at a great university. We faced adversity in coming here, and we continue to face adversity, as we will inevitably always be different from those who were admitted regularly. We face adversity now, required to find off campus housing for our sophomore. But we can face this adversity. We have the strength to overcome any challenge here within the Holy Cross and Notre Dame community, and we demonstrated this strength by saying yes to gateway. Herein lies my self-belief statement: I believe that in accepting gateway, I have demonstrated my personal and mental strength to overcome obstacles, make myself vulnerable in uncertain situations, and that I will ultimately grow from the experience. Having the self-belief to know that we can always overcome will prepare us for our journey of self-discovery better than any easy path ever could. 
	Essential to overcoming adversity on our journey of self-discovery is vulnerability. I made myself vulnerable in coming here, and to integrate into this community, I open myself up to others and allow myself to be vulnerable. In her Ted Talk, “The Power of Vulnerability” Brené Brown says “I know it’s seductive to stand outside the arena…and think to myself ‘I’m gonna go in there and kick some ass when I’m bulletproof and I’m perfect’—and that is seductive—but the truth is, that never happens”.  (QQC week one). This idea of vulnerability applies especially to us in gateway as we try to overcome. While I do have the confidence that I will dominate and succeed, but we still must allow ourselves to be vulnerable in the times of uncertainty that will inevitably arise in order to most authentically grow on this journey of self-discovery. We have had to make ourselves more vulnerable than most as gateway students, for we are coming face-to-face with the idea that we ‘may not be good enough’ for Notre Dame. This vulnerability is essential to growth, and allows us to know ourselves, recognize our strength in adversity, continue our journey of self-discovery. And in balance with this vulnerability, I still maintain that confidence. I do not need Notre Dame. I am not desperate to go here. I am here to learn about myself and dominate and succeed along the way, always standing up again after getting knocked down by failure.
	In his address to incoming freshman, Fr. Pete says “The greatest journey you will ever go on is one of self-discovery. On this journey success, productivity, and failure are an afterthought. What truly matter is authentically responding, to the best of your ability to the person you know yourself to be.”  (QQC week 3). Though he is addressing all Notre Dame freshman, his message especially resonates with those in gateway. We face a strong test of character by taking the risk to come here, which necessarily requires self-reflection and faces us with failure that we must respond to become the best we can be. Our path to self-discovery is not easy, but, as Fr. Pete demonstrates, it is such an important journey that failure a step along the way. On the idea of failure, Carla Harris says in her 2021 Laetare medalist address, “View every setback and disappointment as a lesson. A lesson that may be one of the most important things that you learn in that season of your life”. (QQC week 5) Again, we are to view failure not as something to be feared, but something to learn and grow from. Failure often gives the most important lessons in life, and we grow and change more in the face of adversity than when everything is easy. We face adversity of gateway students, but in taking up the offer we have shown our resilience and willingness to overcome in the spirit of Carla Harris’ words. This resilience and ability to overcome is essential to our self-discovery and prepares for all challenges we will face in the future and is ultimately rooted in vulnerability. We must be vulnerable to fail, and face failure to become stronger.
	Vulnerability not only illuminates the idea of failure, but also speaks to how we can grow our minds here at Notre Dame. In her TED talk “The Danger of a Single Story” Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie says “When we reject the single story, when we realize that there is never a single story about any place, we regain a kind of paradise.” (QQC Week 7). We often have predisposed ideas of places because of a single story written by those in power, but that often suppresses a myriad of diverse viewpoints. Rejecting the single story illuminates new perspectives from which we can expand our horizons and grow our mind. This rejection of a single story, rejection of our predisposed beliefs, requires vulnerability. It takes immense strength to set aside our perceptions and listen. We must make ourselves vulnerable to being wrong, and only then can we truly learn and change. Learning new ideas and hearing new stories that may replace what we thought we knew is key to our journey of self-discovery, and we can pursue this intellectual growth here in the Notre Dame community through our vulnerability.
	Vulnerability, failure, and resilience in the face of adversity is central to our journey here at Notre Dame, and our experience as Gateway gives us an opportunity to test this resilience. Made ourselves vulnerable in accepting the offer. We face the challenge of not getting housing, staying resilient and positive, and growing from this obstacle. The challenges we face now will only make us stronger and allow us to fight on in our pursuit of self-discovery and the education of the mind and heart here at Notre Dame.