Moreau Integration Paper 10/11/21 Nhat Nguyen Moreau Integration One Paper What Do I Believe?: A Personal Analysis of my Moreau Experience So Far When I think about what I miss from home, I immediately think about my childhood bedroom -- my soft, comfy bed, my desk, and the personal space I enjoyed so much up until two months ago. There are succulents on the shelves hovering over my chair, a photo collage plastered on the blue walls above my bed, and a shaggy carpet on the floor (perfect for existential crises at 2am). If you were to open one of my desk drawers, you’d be overwhelmed with the sheer amount of chemistry tests, old pre-calculus notes, and post-its from discarded to-do lists over the years. Reach back farther, though, and you’ll eventually find a list, crumpled up and covered in slightly legible handwriting and signed with a flamboyant scribble at the bottom. The list is old, probably covered in pencil shavings and dust from years prior. The message it contains, however, has been held over my head for the past four years, and I now live by the words I wrote when I was a freshman in high school. At 15, I started getting into psychology as a result of my dad’s passion for the topic, and one of his activities in the spirit of ‘positive self-growth’ was to write a list of ways I could grow into a leader. I was pretty timid and unconfident in high school, often using self-deprecating humor to cope with my insecurities -- so, up until that point, I had never considered myself a leader. I wrote down five key traits that held absolute importance to me at that time (and still do): empathy, resilience, fairness, generosity, and respect. To this day, I think about these traits all the time, and do my best to embody them with the goal of one day becoming the leader I’ve always wanted to be. When assigned this Moreau assignment, my mind immediately went back to my freshman year list of morals. Over the course, guiding questions have led us through TED talks, Youtube videos, papers, and other materials with the goal of deeper contemplation of these important issues. QQCs open up space for meaningful conversation in class, or eye-opening discussions with a classmate around the lake, and I always end the week with a goal to put into practice at least one thing I’ve learned from the Moreau materials. Here’s what I’ve learned from the past seven weeks, and how it relates to my past, the present moment, and my goals for the future. Root Belief #1: I believe that my purpose in life is to provide the most amount of support possible, while reminding those around me of their worth and belonging. Growing up in a competitive and stressful school environment, I quickly learned to be self-critical, always striving for unrealistic perfection in everything that I did. I didn’t have the right type of friends to remind me to be gentle with myself, and to celebrate every success regardless of the downfalls I would encounter. When I realized the danger of letting my stress and insecurities control my life, I vowed to be a cheerleader for everyone else at Notre Dame. In week 1, we watched a TedX Talk by Dr. Brené Brown on ‘The Power of Vulnerability’, in which she shares the importance of a balance between positive and negative emotions, and why it’s crucial to embrace those negative emotions too. One important quote that resonated with me was when Dr. Brown discusses the pressure parents put on their children. She shares, “...[a parent’s] job is not to say “look at her, she’s perfect”...our job is to look and say “you know what, you’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you’re worthy of love and belonging...show me a generation of kids raised like that and we’ll erase the problems we see today” (TedX). When we see ourselves as negative beings, we subconsciously believe we don’t deserve compassion, forgiveness, or love. As a friend, it’s my responsibility to remind others that, despite anything they may fail at or be imperfect at, they are equally as worthy of kindness and empathy too. Root Belief #2: I believe that I grow in the face of adversity, and by being actively resilient through challenges and tough periods, I can become my most authentic self. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed at a school like Notre Dame, which is composed of stellar students from all across the world, equally as nervous and excited to start the next four years of their lives. The first month of the school year was rough for me socially -- I felt isolated and alone as everyone found fast friend groups through classes and activities, while I only knew classmates in passing. I worked hard to keep trying, to keep pushing through and stepping out of my comfort zone to meet new people, and eventually it paid off. Looking back, I’m proud of myself for continuing to be resilient despite the tough social climate that many of us have to navigate in our first year at college. In David Brooks’ week 2 TedX Talk ‘Should You Live For Your Resume or Your Eulogy?”, he brings up an important point about the culture of our society: “Adam I is built by building on your strengths. Adam II is built by fighting your weaknesses...we live in a culture with an Adam I mentality…nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore we must be saved by love...therefore we must be saved by that final form of love, which is forgiveness” (TedX). As Brooks emphasizes, nothing can be accomplished alone -- as cliche as it is, we need to use our strengths and weaknesses and combine them with those of others to become the best versions of ourselves. By being vulnerable and open with those around me, I grew into an authentic version of myself, and will continue to do despite the challenges I’ll face going forward. Root Belief #3: I believe that I forge life-giving relationships by being a compassionate friend for others, and at the same time, others are equally responsible for caring about me too, and by fostering a mutually supportive friendship, we can help others navigate through their own problems. In middle school, I experienced my fair share of poor friendships filled with exclusivity, unkindness, and unsupportiveness. Part of the issue was that I never felt heard, and my voice never seemed to be prioritized in conversation, yet I made constant efforts to be a supportive shoulder for those who needed it. As I changed friend groups and finally found friends who wanted to listen to me too in high school and at ND, I learned the importance of listening, empathy, and caring. In the Grotto Network article from week 3 on the importance of a healthy relationship, one section stood out to me: “Friendships should make you feel positive and like you’re investing in something long-term. Think back to a time where you felt uplifted, hopeful, and happy after hanging out with a friend. The best kind of friendships are the ones where you leave with a smile on your face, knowing you’re both growing to be better people and that you’re helping each other get there” (Grotto). I chose this quote in my QQC because I think the message is so important -- a friendship is not a one way street, or a therapist-type relationship. We need to be respected and mutually supported in our relationships, and only then can we learn to flourish as a community. Root Belief #4: I believe that I am constantly searching for a meaning to my life, regardless of whether I find my purpose through religion or not. I grew up Agnostic, so I didn’t have the same faith background starting at Notre Dame unlike many of my Catholic peers, who root their faith and answers to life in God and Catholicism. However, I’ve never not felt part of the community -- the way we treat each other and always look out for others is a strong representation of the ND student body as a whole. I’m free to find my passions and goals on my own, through my own methods and experiences. In Father Pete McCormick’s week 4 video ‘Student Reflections on Faith’, he says, “The greatest journey you will ever go on is one of self discovery. On this journey, success, productivity, and failure are an afterthought. What truly matters is authentically responding to the best of your ability as the person you know yourself to be; the person God intended you to be” (McCormick). I really agree with this quote, as self discovery is such an important and exciting chapter of your life. The fact that I am able to do this both in the presence of the Catholic community, other religious groups, and those who aren’t religious is an incredibly special way for me to gain unique perspectives on what it means to be my authentic self. Root Belief #5: I believe that I pursue truth by learning the stories of others no matter how good or bad, and by openly sharing my background and the stories that have built my personality too. Since the rise of social media, we have made a strong attempt as a population to hide and cover up the stories that have negatively impacted us or made us feel embarrassed, anxious, or upset. Welcome to Instagram -- an app exclusively dedicated towards the ‘highlight reel’, where feeds are filled with only the good moments of our lives. Here’s the beauty of in-person relationships: vulnerability and storytelling is when we learn the most about someone’s life and background. Our stories are engraved on our bodies, in the lines on our palms and the way we interact with others -- and despite the fact that many of these stories and experiences are negative and upsetting, these are what build us and make us who we are. With each experience, we mature and grow, and learn a little bit more about what it means to be human, experiencing life as an ND student. This idea as a whole relates to a few important resources from the latter part of the Moreau course thus far: week 5’s Laetare Medalist address by Carla Harris, week 6’s ‘Where I’m From’ poems by George Ella Lyon and myself, and week 7’s Scientific Direct article on implicit bias written by Keith Payne and others. In her address to the Notre Dame community, Carla Harris says the following: “Any moment that you find yourself, trust that the power within you has delivered you in perfect timing...Pay attention to things as they happen to you for when life comes to teach you a lesson” (Carla Harris). This powerful quote reminds me that everything we experience in life -- our stories -- teach us lessons for the future, and that we must experience growth and change to find our true selves. I wrote about this idea in my week 6 ‘Where I’m From’ poem, inspired by the work of George Ella Lyon -- every experience I’ve had to go through has taught me my morals, what I value, my beliefs, and how I need to approach things in the future. I am from my childhood and my past, and George Ella Lyon is too; in his poem, he powerfully writes, “Under my bed was a dress box spilling old pictures, a sift of lost faces to drift beneath my dreams” (Lyon). With this verse in his poem, he emphasizes how the people of his past have influenced him. Finally, in the Scientific Direct article, the authors write about how truth and bias can often lead us to have unfair opinions, especially in a racial sense. This relates to the idea that we need to learn each other’s stories and backgrounds before creating our own opinions on them. One quote says, “Race can bias people to see harmless objects as weapons when they are in the hands of Black men and to dislike abstract images that are paired with Black faces” (Scientific Direct). If we were to simply take the time to learn about someone and put aside all past judgments (fair or not, which in this case, are definitely not and show threads of racism), we can start on the long path to anti-hate and prejudice. Through compassion and a listening ear, our community has a chance at becoming more open, loving, and less judgmental. I’ve learned a lot from the past eight weeks, and have been guided by the course and the discussions in my class on my own path to self discovery. I know what I believe in. I know my morals and values like a map on the back of my hand. All I need to do, and all we need to do together, is act upon them and keep others in mind when making decisions for ourselves. Only then, through vulnerability, healthy relationships, fairness, kindness, and storytelling, can we support each other through the crazy experience that we like to call ‘our young adult lives’. Works Cited (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week One) (Should You Live for your Resume or Your Eulogy? By David Brooks - Moreau FYE Week Two) (The Role of Faith in Our Story” by Fr. Pete McCormick - Moreau FYE Week Three ("5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship" by Olivia T. Taylor, Grotto - Moreau FYE Week Four) ("2021 Laetare Medalist Address" by Carla Harris - Moreau Week Five) ("Where I'm From" by George Ella Lyon - Moreau Week Six) (“How to Think about ‘Implicit Bias’” by Keith Payne, Laura Niemi, John M. Doris, Scientific American - Moreau Week Seven https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&feature=youtu.be https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/25086/modules/items/109288 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/25086/modules/items/109340 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/25086/modules/items/109386 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/25086/modules/items/109402 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/25086/modules/items/109407 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/25086/modules/items/109410 https://canvas.nd.edu/courses/25086/modules/items/109410