Moreau Integration #1 PDF





Professor Pruitt


Moreau FYE Integration #1`


15 October 2021


Putting it in Perspective


	 Going to Notre Dame is perhaps not only the greatest achievement of my lifetime but 

one of the biggest blessings.  I have already met amazing friends and done well in many of my 

classes.  However, such an distinguished oppourtunity and a complete change of every aspect 

of my life has not come without its challenges.  I am lucky that I am grown immensely in 

confidence and independence throughout the past couple years of high school, yet I too have 

struggled.  It is hard to put a finger on exactly what I believe because I think college is the time 

to figure that out.  That being said, I have certain root beliefs that serve as reminders to me to 

keep a healthy positive outlook on my life throughout the transition to college. 


	 I believe that comparison is the thief of joy.  This is not a belief nor even a thought 

unique to me.  This famous quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy” has been attributed to Mark 

Twain, Theodore Roosevelt, and others.  My mother was the one who introduced it to me and 

frequently continues to remind me of it.  Coming to Notre Dame, everyone around you is 

talented, smart, or accomplished in some way.  Kids go from being the top of their class and 

the person who was most involved in everything to an environment where everyone is 

comparably the same way.  I hear people discuss imposter syndrome, a feeling that you are the 

one who isn’t worthy or capable enough to be here at such a prestigious, amazing school.  To 

some extent I feel that way.  It is hard to go from being told you’re the best to struggling at the 

highest level.  


	 In week two of Moreau, David Brooks gave a TED talk about human nature in which he 

used the example of two Adams – Adam I, the ambitious external side of man, and Adam II, the 

humble internal side.  During his lecture he says, “We live in perpetual self-confrontation 

between the external success and internal value” (“Should You Live for Your Resume or Your 



Eulogy?” By David Brooks - Moreau FYE Week Two)  If I was asked what truly matters in life, I 

would say love for others – my family and friends.  However I feel so often that the world 

around us defines our worth in terms of success.  Especially at Notre Dame where there are 

such high stakes and people have been very focused on academic achievement their whole 

lives, it is very easy to put too much of one’s self worth in “success.” The confrontation 

between external success and internal value is a prevalent one. As I have struggled in school, 

perhaps for the first time in my life, I try to remember that people’s worth does not come from 

their work alone.  We are all here because we have had success.  But more importantly, we 

should not compared our success, because we are all worthy.  We are worthy to be a Notre 

Dame and we are worthy as individual people, regardless of how much external success we 

show to the world.  It is only when we stop comparing ourselves to other and feeling not good 

enough that we can find true joy in what we have already accomplished.


I believe that who we form relationships with reflects ourselves.  I have been 

fortunate to grow up in a loving family with a stable household and parents who respect each 

other and taught me to do the same to others.  My relationships are the most important thing in 

my life.  In week six of Moreau, I began my “Where I’m From” poem by talking about my family, 

friends, and the places I lived growing up.  I talked about “walks with my mom and a stroller to 

the park and finally biking to the beach once I was old enough” (Where I’m From Poem by 

 - Moreau FYE Week Six).  These relationships and memories are the people 

who have changed my perspective, taught me many lessons, and shared in my greatest 

memories. When I had to leave home to come to college, I was devastated.  I thought I would 

never find friends anywhere close to the ones I had made in high school.  Although I am a 

pretty independent person in terms of taking care of myself, I depend a lot on my friends for 

emotional support.


	 In week four of Moreau, we discussed what makes a healthy relationship and how to 

better seek them out.  An article from the Grotto defines that “a good, healthy friendship is one 

where two people are mutually growing and on a path toward becoming better people, but 



every so often, we find ourselves making an effort with a person we probably shouldn’t” (“5 

Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship” by Olivia Taylor - Moreau FYE Week Four).  Although I 

eventually found incredible, supportive friends, for many years in high school I was in a very 

toxic friendship with a girl who I thought was my best friend.  Her actions hurt me, but that 

relationship also taught me so many lessons and gave me the knowledge of how to recognize 

toxic traits in the future.  I didn’t like certain things about myself when I was friends with her.  I 

felt like I was move involved in drama.  She made me feel weak like I couldn’t stand up for 

myself.  Because I think that the people we are in relationships with reflect our own traits, I 

eventually cut off the friendship because I didn’t like the person I was in that relationship, it 

wasn’t a true representation of myself.  During class, many of my classmates expressed similar 

experiences with toxic friends and concern about how to form the best relationships as we 

move throughout college.  In response, I think the best advice is to see if a relationship is 

making you a better person and bringing out your best traits instead of your worst.  Because of 

my experience in the past, I feel better equipped to make healthy relationships with people that 

share admirable aspects of my character because I know I deserve more than a toxic friend.


	 There is an additional challenge besides potential toxicity that comes with friendships 

during freshman year of college: insecurity.  Knowing that I was going to be meeting an entire 

new community for the first time, I wondered what they were going to think of my personality, 

the way I dressed, and the things I care about.  In week one of Moreau, I watched a video of 

Brené Brown giving a TED talk on the necessity of vulnerability to our lives.  Within the video 

she says, “They were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who 

they were, which you have to do . . . for connection” (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené 

Brown - Moreau FYE Week One).  By “they” she means people seeking relationships — such 

as myself coming to college.  I love the person I am, but it was nerve wracking to wonder if 

others will feel the same.  However, as most college freshman have to do eventually, I put 

myself out there.  I asked people to get lunch at the dining hall, I talked and laughed with other 

girls’ late at night in my dorm, I said yes to going out, and I asked a new guy to my SYR.  All of 



these things might not have been the easiest, but looking back on the past few weeks, I am 

proud of myself.  Because I was brave and vulnerable with my personality and my emotions, I 

have found such a great group of friends already.  Some of these girls are a lot like me and 

some are different.  However I feel that they all reflect me in a way because we were willing to 

put ourselves out there and therefore found friendship in each other.  As I continue to meet new 

people in college, I feel less worried about what will happen because I know that being genuine 

and brave is all one can do.  The rest will come with time.


	 In this world, I think you attract people who are similar to you.  Similarity or at least 

relatability is often the base for a friendship.  Although it is nowhere near the most diverse 

college, Notre Dame is a lot more diverse than my high school was.  I have found it so beautiful 

to connect with so many people who are seemingly different from me — whether that’s a 

different background, religion, or race — and find shared passions and common ground.  I 

finished my “Where I’m From” poem with the words, “I am from textbook readings and walking 

ten miles everyday more work than you could ever imagine; treasuring Saturday and dreading 

Sunday; no sleep but the best memories; [and] running out of green clothes.  Now I am from 

Notre Dame” (Where I’m From Poem by  - Moreau FYE Week Six).


	 I believe that the key to success and thriving is remembering that perfection is not 

the goal.  Similar to the habit of comparison is my personal propensity for perfection.  I have 

been quite the perfectionist my entire life.  Perhaps this is a result of growing up the oldest 

child of four where I wanted to be the one who wasn’t a burden to my parents and an example 

for my sisters.  But honestly, I think its just the way I am.  I’ve moved through life thinking that 

there was some attainable goal of the ideal me where if I could just do this one thing exactly 

right and fix this one problem I would be completely happy.  I’ve come to realize that is not a 

reasonable way to think. 


	 In week seven of Moreau I watched Chimamanda Adichie give a TED talk about the 

danger of a single story.  In her discussion she says, “All of these stories make me who I am. 

But to insist on only these negative stories is to flatten my experience and overlook the many 



other stories that formed me” (“Danger of a Single Story” by Chimamanda Adichie -  Moreau 

FYE Week Seven). By this she is mostly referring to the implicit bias so present in our society 

and how we cannot truly have an objective opinion on anyone or their culture without hearing 

multiple stories to complete the picture.  However, I find this quote relates so much to the 

constant strife for perfection.  By focusing on the negative aspects — or stories — in my life 

that I wish to fix, I overlook that I am actually a make up of many different amazing things.  

Some qualities may be better than others, but the imperfection and jumble of all the things that 

I am — confident, smart, stubborn, empathic, sometimes a little obnoxious — is what makes 

me unique and that is beautiful.  In the same way, by focusing on the negative aspects of my 

college experience — the same food everyday, the fact that I hit my head on the ceiling every 

morning — I am overlooking everything I have been blessed with here such as a great 

community in my dorm and an education that will last a lifetime.


	 In week three of Moreau, I watched a video in which Father Pete discusses knots we 

encounter in our lives.  He talks about trying to untie a shoelace and as soon as you get one 

knot untied you encounter another.  This metaphor feels a lot like college.  As soon as I 

compete one assignment, there is another waiting for me.  As soon as I get one good exam 

grade back, I receive another grade where I did not do as well as I thought. Within the video he 

says that “what truly matters is authentically responding to the best of your ability as the 

person you know yourself to be” (“The Role of Faith in Our Story” by Fr. Pete McCormick 

C.S.C. - Moreau FYE Week Three).  To me, this is a very important reminder that trying to solve 

every problem at once is not sustainable.  In a few years, it won’t matter how I did on every 

assignment, what will matter was the person I became in college.  That person will likely be 

nowhere near perfect, but I hope that she will be genuine.  As I respond to additional 

challenges throughout college I hope to keep this quote in mind, and remember that being a 

kind and hardworking person overall is much more important than each individual problem. In 

her address to the graduating class of 2021, Carla Harris, winner of the Laetare Medal, said to 

“view every setback and disappointment as a lesson” - (“2021 Laetare Medalist Address” by 



Carla Harris - Moreau FYE Week Five). When you’re a perfectionist, even a minor 

inconvenience and failure can feel like the end of the world.  I have been trying to take Ms. 

Harris’ advice and look at these disappointments from the perspective of lessons.  At Notre 

Dame where it seems that many people are the best at what they do — whether that’s service, 

academics, or athletics — they aren’t perfect.  Perfection isn’t an attainable goal to strive for 

because there is no such thing.  Confronting this habit of perfectionism is a process, but it has 

been comforting to know through class discussions and personal conversations that many of 

my peers feel the same way.


	 Every setback I face here is not the end of the world.  Every relationship I cultivate may 

or may not be permanent, but I hope that the ones that are permanent reflect my character in a 

positive way.  By remembering to trust myself and putting my relationships and 

accomplishments in perspective, I know I can continue to be happy here at Notre Dame.