Integration 1 Assignment Bryan Reaume Integration 1 Assignment 14 October 2021 Do I Belong Here? Growing up, I remember the feeling of the whole family gathering in the living room on a Saturday to watch Notre Dame football. I remember listening to stories of how my parents met here, and their stories of the best time of their lives. When applying to college, I knew I wanted to attend Notre Dame, but I wasn’t sure if the school was right for me, or if I was simply following in the footsteps of my parents. Upon arrival, the moment the Morrissey guys came up to my car and greeted me with cheers, already knowing my name, was the moment that I knew that I was going to love this community. School went on and got harder, and I realized that my grades were slowly slipping. I was spending many hours in the library and yet the grades would not recover. Because of this, I began to question whether I academically belonged here, and I am still pondering that question. However, the themes that I have pondered in the Moreau class have given me more confidence in the fact that things will work out the way they are supposed to, and that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in life. I believe that I am searching for where I belong. To go about this, I first had to understand my true, authentic self, and this was done through an analysis of my most vulnerable self. In her video on vulnerability, Brené Brown comments about confident people: “They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful”(“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown - Moreau FYE Week One). I think this statement holds true because in order to be confident, one must have self love. However, self love is no easy feat because it involves mailto:breaume@nd.edu https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Qm9cGRub0&list=PLmiPsabET-W_hjesjTZaITh2s1WbM-Kd0&index=4 accepting all of one’s own drawbacks and insecurities. In my own life, academics have always been my strong suit. However, in college, I believe that it has become one of my insecurities. Now, I acknowledge that grades do not make up who I am, and it is in this acceptance that I can truly accept myself and become confident. But the fact that I must tell myself that I am not a failure only corroborates the fact that there are certain values that society holds over others that are not entirely logical. David Brooks touches on this point in his discussion of Adam 1 and Adam 2. Brooks explains that “We happen to live in a society that favors Adam One and often neglects Adam Two. And the problem is that turns you into a shrewd animal, who treats life as a game”(“Should you live for your résumé ... or your eulogy?” by David Brooks - Moreau FYE Week Two). Adam One, in Brooks’ explanation, is the part of one’s personality that wants to conquer, achieve, and is ambitious. Adam Two, on the other hand, is humble and strives to be good in the name of God. Society favors Adam One over Adam Two because Adam One has tangible achievements, and despite the amount of good that Adam Two does, it may have nothing to show for it. In my life, I feel that my Adam One is falling behind, and I can confirm that there is a loss of affirmation from society. I believe that I grow by developing my own framework that does not align with what society desires of me. Instead, I want to grow a framework that aligns with who I want to be. In his personal reflection about faith, Professor Fagerburg creates a metaphor of spirituality as a light. He says that “The unexpected flashes of love in our lives illuminate reality, like a thunderbolt of lightning can illuminate the dark yard”(“Faith Brings Light to a Dark World” by David Fagerberg - Moreau FYE Week Three). My optimal framework for my life would revolve around this notion that love is what shows us the true meaning of life. I think that with my concerns about grades and school and my place in life, I forget what I want life to mean to me. I https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlLWTeApqIM https://grottonetwork.com/keep-the-faith/belief/faith-brings-light-to-dark-world/?utm_source=partner&utm_medium=promotion&utm_campaign=moreau want to experience love in the purest form-- love of God, of family, of friends-- over anything else. And in order to follow my framework, I need to be attentive to these brief flashes of lightning that remind me what is important in life. The one fallibility within Fagerberg’s metaphor is that, indeed, people worth love are not quite as striking as lightning. So how do we know if that person is our lightning, and how do we become that lightning? Olivia Taylor, a writer for Grotto attempts to tackle this difficult question. She offers that “A good, healthy friendship is one where two people are mutually growing and on a path toward becoming better people, but every so often, we find ourselves making an effort with a person we probably shouldn’t”(“5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship” by Olivia Taylor - Moreau FYE Week Four). I think the key part of Taylor’s analysis is that a good friendship must be mutually beneficial. Even if you gain something from the relationship, if the other person does not gain, then the relationship cannot be a loving one. I think I can fall into this trap occasionally, thinking that the relationship is beneficial, when the other person is actually not growing with me. These relationships must go both ways. I believe that my future will be shaped by both my present and my past. In my present, I am striving to learn how to find a better balance in my life at Notre Dame. I can strongly relate to Father Kevin Grove’s reflection on Notre Dame education. He concludes about this place that it is not only a school, but here, “Faith and reason, together, place us always in relationship to each other”(“Two Notre Dames: Your Holy Cross Education” by Father Kevin Grove, C.S.C - Moreau FYE Week Five). Upon my meeting with my Rector in Morrissey, I found myself talking about my struggles with this. I have always been a mass going person, but when I got to college, I felt that most Sundays were filled with studying and homework, and I was pressed for time. This meant skipping many masses. I felt that reason, my education, was not in relationship to my https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/signs-of-toxic-friendships/ faith, and this was difficult for me. However, my Rector reassured me that this was normal. People need time to adjust to college, and that I did not need to get down on myself. I think this really helped me understand that achieving what I want in my future-- both at Notre Dame and in my life as a whole-- takes time to achieve. I cannot simply snap into the mold of exactly what I want to have in my life. Furthermore, much of my present and future have been shaped by my past. Inspired by George Ella Lyon’s ‘Where I’m From’ poem, I reflected deeply upon what made me who I am today. In Lyon’s website, Lyon reflected that, when constructing the ‘Where I’m From’ Poem, to “Let your goal be the writing itself. Learn to let it lead you”(“Where I’m From” by George Ella Lyon - Moreau FYE Week Six). It was really nice to have an hour of personal reflection on the experiences that have made me, not searching for them, but letting my mind lead me to them. But in addition to just writing the poem I think that this advice was very influential to remember in life as well. Sometimes, when I go searching for something, it slips out of my hands like water, but if I let life lead me where it wants, things seem to fall into place. I believe that I am responsible for shaping my own life through experiences. Despite talking about letting life lead me to where I should be, it is important to me that I put myself in places that will give me diverse experiences. Currently, a major problem in our society is that of prejudice. Writers for Scientific American report on this problem. They claim that “There is a mountain of evidence—independent of any single test—that implicit bias is real”(“How to Think about ‘Implicit Bias’” by Keith Payne, Laura Niemi, and John M. Doris - Moreau FYE Week Seven). Implicit bias is real, and it is too prevalent in our society. However, no matter how much I may care about equality, I am susceptible to implicit bias, too. Therefore, I feel that I, along with society, have the utmost responsibility to give ourselves experiences of diversity in order to combat this implicit bias. This is one way that I feel I need to grow at Notre Dame, and I am https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-to-think-about-implicit-bias/ https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-to-think-about-implicit-bias/ looking forward to becoming the best version of myself through lessons I have learned in life. And with this mindset, I feel that I truly do belong here at Notre Dame.