Carving My Own Path
           I have learned and encountered a lot throughout my first semester at the University of Notre Dame, but what stands out the most is the need to carve my own path. I have come to understand the importance of focusing on myself and not comparing myself to others. Whether it be grades, number of friends, body image, or overall well-being, you never really know people’s experiences, past, goals, motives, or struggles. For me, comparison only leads to letdown, lack of confidence, and feelings of unworthiness. Over these past three months, by working through some significant ups and downs, I have become autonomous and am eagerly facilitating my future without the pressures of comparison.
           In week nine, we talked about first-year students encountering dissonance and discomfort as well as the danger of expectations. Julia Hogan said, “You can’t live your life according to the expectations of others. When you do, you aren’t living your own life.” I agree with this statement because successes and goals should come from yourself, not others or society. One should not feel like they must conform or please others to be their best (Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit” by Julia Hogan – Moreau FYE Week Nine). At the beginning of the semester, I will admit, this was something I constantly did. I thought I was going to be one of the “stupider” students and need to work much harder than everyone else just to do as well or even worse than my peers. I thought if I did not do as well in school as I did in high school (straight As), I would let my parents and grandparents down. Luckily, I proved myself wrong and realized that while I work extremely hard, I work just as hard as many of my peers and am doing very well. I set new expectations for myself as it is a different world that requires refined expectations. I also came to understand that my parents will be proud of my best work, whether that is an A or a C. My overall academic confidence has grown tremendously as I have proven to myself that I can do it. While college is undoubtedly a lot of work, I enjoy the challenge and am learning how to navigate what works and what doesn’t. Goals are crucial for self-growth and learning how to be hard on yourself for improvement but not too hard to the point of breaking down.
           Something I have continually been asking myself lately is, “who do I want to become intellectually, and what do I want to do with my life after college?” Little by little, I have started to answer this question as I dive deeper into my academic journey at Notre Dame. As a psychology major, my Introduction to Psychology course has been incredibly eye-opening for me. It had provided me with the opportunity to narrow down what path I want to pursue. With two very different professors teaching various types of the field, I think the developmental, personality, mental disorders, and self sections of psychology are what I am most interested in. I feel that it is my calling to help people and work in a constantly changing environment. In addition to further self-discovery in my major, I have declared a minor in Catholic Social Traditions (CST). It works to create a newfound thought process towards racial injustices made me very excited that people are recognizing and paying attention to it. I never want to be a reason someone feels like they have been mistreated and always want to be sensitive to people different from me, whether that be racially, socioeconomically, culturally, etc. I feel like this minor will help me grow to be my best self and be a great advocate for the need for change and how to accomplish it. (Should Catholic Schools Teach Critical Race Theory? by Christopher J. Devron, S.J. – Moreau FYE Week Ten).
           
           In the midst of rigorous academic work, I have also been balancing my spiritual, social, and extracurricular lives. I am constantly striving to become the most complete and well-rounded person possible. While creating a new life for myself at college, all of this has been incredible but not always easy. When figuring out who I want my friends to be and who I want to associate with, I often ask myself, “Am I being my most authentic self?” or “Is this a balanced relationship?” I never thought about these questions at home because my friends were somewhat the same throughout school, and I did not have the chance to start over and pick all new friends. In this process, I know I need to make sure that I always stay true to myself and my morals. Furthermore, as it is much more available at Notre Dame than it ever was at home, my spiritual life has become much more prominent. I attend mass twice a week and have become part of a bible study as well. “Striving for completeness means spending one’s life as a citizen of this world imitating the person of Christ as the gateway to citizenship to heaven.” I find this quote powerful because I have never thought of walking through life with Christ alongside me as completeness. But, thinking about it in these terms, that is precisely what it is. While walking with Christ and striving to live out his ways and teachings, I am slowly becoming the most complete human I can be (“Hope – Holy Cross and Christian Education” by Fr. James B. King, C.S.C. – Moreau FYE Week Twelve).
           After adopting this new college lifestyle, it is clear to me that I belong at Notre Dame. I feel that I can keep up with the academic work, thrive in a social setting, deepen my spiritual life, and become the best version of myself. Over the course of the first semester, I have learned the significance of making time for the things that are truly important and enhance your well-being. For me, that is schoolwork, club soccer, mass/bible study, and a few relationships that bring out the best in me. In addition to this, I also now understand how essential it is for me to use resources and support system. When things are not going smoothly, it is okay to ask for help and remember that I am never alone in the journey of life. In week eleven of Moreau FYE, we read “Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community,” and Parker J. Palmer wrote, “But when I fall, I see a secret hidden in plain sight: I need other people for comfort, encouragement, and support, and for criticism, challenge, and collaboration.” I have come to know who is genuinely there for me and who I find comfort in and trust. Whether it be my mom, dad, therapist, or best friend from home, I know how important it is to use them in good times and bad. When I try to rely on myself and keep pushing through alone, nothing usually changes and sometimes even gets worse.