Moreau FYE2 Integration 1 Fr. Keven Sandberg Moreau FYE II February 22, 2022 Looking Back on My Life Life is a series of ups and downs. It is both a gift and a challenge that was granted to us by God. It’s crazy to sit down and write about my life right now because I truly still feel like a young child and not an 18-year old college man. With this growth in my life, I have been starting to form my own opinions and convictions. And although there are so many things I have formed opinions on, I can tell you right now that I stand firmly with what I believe. Most importantly, when I ponder about my life, my thoughts usually always travel back to how thankful I am for everything in my life. I feel that I am so blessed in every aspect of my life and it makes me so appreciative to God. I typically like to make it a habit to try my best to sit alone with my thoughts as often as I can. I’ll go and find a quiet space somewhere, turn on some nice music that I enjoy, and begin to look back on all the aspects of my life. My mind wanders and is usually always drawn to memories in my life that have helped me follow my convictions. I then start to think about how much courage I’ve expressed in my life, especially in college, and the creativity I convey every day. My self-reflection and metacognition typically begins with trying to solidify certain things about my life. These include things like getting to know who I am and figuring out what I want to do with my life. As Deresiewicz said in Week 1, “unless you know who you are, how will you figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life” (Deresiewicz, 2014). I feel as if I am constantly getting to know myself more as a person. The growth I have experienced while being at Notre Dame has been exponential. It was very hard in the beginning for me. I would allow my memories of home and the “good ole days” to consume me instead of living in the present and trying to enjoy my life in the now. But, I have been slowly making progress. I have been attempting to be courageous by stepping out of my comfort zone and accepting the fact that this will be my life for the next 3 and a half years. When attempting to discern my life and convictions through looking at how my memory, courage, and creativity have played a role, I also like to ask myself a few questions. Fr. Michael Himes in Week 3 puts it simply. He tells us to ask ourselves three questions when assessing our lives and trying to figure out what we enjoy: “Do you get a kick out of it? Are you any good at it? Does anyone want you to do it” (Himes, New York Times). These questions pose extremely helpful when aiming to be contemplative. Because I am in the period of my life that requires a lot of discernment, it’s nice to see the important questions that I need to address being laid out in front of me in a straightforward fashion. These really help with my metacognitive process of aiming to solve out my convictions in life. I find the distinction between joy and happiness to be a topic of value in my life. Because I am growing and attempting to “find my purpose” in the world, I feel that these three questions are extremely important. They also parallel perfectly with looking back on what courage, memory, and creativity look like in my life. With memory, I look back on the things that I enjoyed in life and make them the forefront of my mind. My memory helps me see the things I like and allows me to decide what I truly appreciate in my life. Like I wrote in Week 4, I have always been somewhat of a solo thinker. I typically like to figure things out myself and try to experience things for the first time without any prior knowledge or assistance. But, as I have been growing, I have found it to be something extremely valuable to have a mentor by my side for support and advice. Having a mentor allows me to grow in my reflective leadership and it gives me courage that inspires me to delve deeper into my creativity. Like Daloz said in his essay for Week 4, mentors “convery inspiration for the long haul” (Daloz). I find this phrase to be so true because as I grow as a man and begin to gain more confidence, this confidence stems from mentorship and courage that is instilled in me. The leadership that I grow in needs to also involve me trying to make a change in the world around me. This striving to make a change in the world pairs up nicely with becoming a successful leader when I’m older. Although there are extremely successful people, they are not all leaders. The problem is though that when people see those extremely successful people, they tend to think that they are leaders. Like Dereseiwicz said in Week 7 in his essay called “Solitude and Leadership,” “This notion of success is exactly what places like Yale mean when they talk about training leaders. Educating people who make a big name for themselves in the world, people with impressive titles, people the university can brag about” (Deresewicz, 2010). Although success shows signs of determination and perseverance, it does not always mean that this successful person is a leader. I actually typically find that those smarter people are actually way less of leaders than most other people. Yes, it does make sense that they are successful and when they get older, they will probably lead in their field intellectually. But this still doesn’t make them leaders. Like you mentioned in class Father, not all politicians are actually leaders. They just know how to manipulate people into thinking they are. Like Deresiewicz says, “there is something desperately wrong with this idea.” Although it’s difficult to say, we sometimes assume that these extremely intelligent and successful people will be our leaders. But, in full honesty, this is not what leadership is about. Leadership is about character and willingness. Ultimately, I find it so beautiful to look back on my life and to reflect on the thoughts and memories that have helped form my convictions today. Because of those memories, I feel as if my confidence has increased and that I have and still am growing into a leader today. I just want to thank you personally, Father Sandberg, for making this first half of Moreau so enjoyable and unique. I was honestly kind of reluctant when you first emailed us when we still had like five days left of Christmas break. I remember turning to my brother and complaining to him about my “seemingly strict Moreau teacher.” But I was proven wrong. You are an amazing teacher, man, leader, and role model to me in my Catholic Faith. I really admire the way you put so much effort in class and how you write your comments for every single one of our assignments that we turn in. I look forward to the second half of the semester with you. Thank you so much once again.