Toby Bradshaw Professor Taylor Moreau First-Year Experience 13 October 2021 The People and Experiences That Made Me Who I Am Similar to the idea of tabula raza, I believe that I am a sum of my experiences. What I have done, who I have met, and what I have experienced have shaped me into the person that I am today. However, as David Brooks said, “In order to fulfill yourself, you have to forget yourself. And in order to find yourself, you have to lose yourself” (“Should You Live for Your Resume or Your Eulogy” by David Brooks - Moreau First Year Experience Week Two). I think that my time so far at Notre Dame has helped me get a clearer grasp of who I am and what I like or dislike. Knowing these things about myself from before has really helped me step out of my comfort zone and pursue new experiences in college. However, I believe that it is important to not forget my core beliefs, the things that make me who I am. Because of this, It is important for me to remember my roots and where I came from. After all, those things helped shape my values today. I believe that I’m very lucky to be so loved and supported in my family. The first time that I really felt like a sense of belonging like that was in the cross country team in high school. This framework that built me up, made me who I am today, and helped me achieve the things I have. My upbringing helped me develop my core values and personality in a way that made me think about what I want to get out of my life. My experiences as a child helped me build my values of creativity and humor that were highlighted in my personality test. Furthermore, my time on the cross country team helped me solidify my values and beliefs of hard work, grit, and determination. This was all due to the people that made me who I am today. Truly nothing will really match the complete, unconditional love that comes from your family but on the team, especially as an upperclassmen, I felt truly appreciated and involved in the entire group, as a leader, a teammate, and a friend. I have felt like this with other friend groups, but never as completely as with my running friends. I believe that the community I forge here at Notre Dame should share the same important characteristics that my relationships in my family and my team shared: support, trust, and community. These beliefs have been tested by the various false relationships and fake friendships I have had across my life. Although I have made some mistakes and I am sure to make more, those mistakes have ultimately only strengthened my idea of what I believe a good relationship is and who can best help me grow as a person. In both my family and the team, we supported eachother no matter what our differences were and that gave us a strong bond against critics. At school, people even joked that the Cross country team was a cult based on how close we were. I think that this supporting framework of support is integral for becoming the best version of myself. As Brene Brown said, truly happy people “had the passion to be kind to themselves and to others because as it turns out we can’t practice compassion with others if we can’t treat ourselves kindly. And also they had connections -- and this is the hard part -- as a result of authenticity. They let go of who they thought they should be, in order to be who they were” (“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brene Brown - Moreau First Year Experience Week One). I think that knowing I am among people who will support me no matter what will help me to be vulnerable. That being said, I do not want to simply use others for what they can give me. As the video by One Love Foundation pointed out, abusive relationships like that simply are not what love is. I believe in self confidence and fulfillment but not at the expense of others. As Dr. David Fagerberg, author of “Faith Brings Light to the Dark World” points out, “ There is such a thing as a healthy ego, but we’re talking here about egocentricity, an unhealthy sort of self-love that flatters us with the idea that everything in the world revolves around us” (“ Faith Brings Light to the Dark World” by Dr. David Fagerberg - Moreau First Year Experience Week Three ). I believe that it is important for me to support others and give back what they have given to me. Furthermore, I believe that because of what everyone has given me, it is important that I pay all of blessings forward to others. I believe that I can forge life giving relationships by doing for others what I have been so blessed with myself. My background in faith and various people in my life such as my parents, art teacher, and cross country coach have taught me that. That belief has not been shaken much because I think that it is so important to who I am. I believe that by learning more about myself and others, I will be able to better understand how to help others. Furthermore, in order to understand God’s will and what he wants for me, I must explore my faith further. I believe that my experiences at Notre Dame will help shape this experience. As our very own Fr. Kevin Grove said, “Faith and reason together put us always in communion with one another” (“Two Notre Dames: Your Holy Cross Education” by Fr. Kevin Grove - Moreau First Year Experience Week Five). In order to pursue this value of helping others, I think that it is important to get outside of my bubble and learn about the struggles of others. For example, placing myself in other people’s shoes has helped me understand more about implicit bias and other issues in the world. As I learned in this class, “ Many of us are more biased than we realize. And that is an important cause of injustice—whether you know it or not” (“How to Think about ‘Implicit Bias’” by Keith Payne, Laura Niemi, and John M. Doris - Moreau First Year Experience Week Seven). This opened my eyes to more of the struggles of others. Ultimately, while many people and factors have shaped my beliefs, it is up to me now to do my best to honor them with the person I have become and the choices I make. I hope to use my time here at Notre Dame to continue living what they have given me, learning more, and pursuing my faith. Through this, I will be able to strengthen my beliefs and become the best version of myself.