James DeMaro
Moreau FYE
4 March 2022
Integration Three
          What defines a well-lived life? Is it money? Is it fame? Is it glory? I’m sure the answer varies depending on who you ask. To James DeMaro, a life well lived was a happy one, a simple one, and a one where he made a difference. But happiness is never constant, and James was very aware of this. Towards the end of his life, James eventually found true happiness. Throughout his battle with this hard world, James was able to make a difference in everything that he did. He was a simple man, but he was a good man. A strong, family devoted man who was inspired to make a change wherever he went. In my opinion, James taught us all what it meant to live a life well lived.
          The words of Father Michael Himes are what James lived by, “Happiness changes from moment to moment, day to day. Joy, on the other hand, is much deeper and much more central, it comes from within, and it’s a genuine rightness of how one lives one’s life” (“Three Key Questions” by Father Michael Himes - Moreau FYE Week Three). James worked hard to find this joy in his own life, and he was very aware that happiness was a moment to moment feeling. Throughout highschool and college, James searched relentlessly for this happiness. And when it wasn’t there, he would stop at nothing to find this. He wished that he knew this during his adolescence years. As James began this hard struggle to find happiness within his own life, he began to stop looking for it. Perhaps this was what he needed all along. He took time to slow down his life and live in the present. He read an article once, telling him to live life moment by moment, and it began to work. “The need for an empty space, a pause, is something we have all felt in our bones; it’s the rest in a piece of music that gives it resonance and shape” (“Why We Need to Slow Down Our Lives” by Pico Iyer - Moreau FYE Week One). The need for rest is so important in our lives, and James began to live by these words. Moments to reflect are so important to us. However, when we reflect too much upon something, it drives us down a dark path. James had been down this dark path many times in his life. Whether it was his broken relationships or just feeling down, James wished to make it a point that he wouldn’t dwell upon the past. In a study about being introspective, James learned an extremely valuable life lesson. “But to my astonishment, our data told the exact opposite story. The people who scored high on self-reflection were more stressed, depressed and anxious, less satisfied with their jobs and relationships, more self-absorbed, and they felt less in control of their lives” (“The Right Way to Be Introspective” by Tasha Eurich - Moreau FYE Week Six). And so, he made it his mission to live his own life, not boggled down about who he had been or who he was. He made it his mission to be the best person possible and know that he was doing everything he could to be this best version of himself. No matter what anyone told him, James knew that he was good deep down, and this helped him with stress and anxiety. I believe that it’s important that we all live like this. As James said best, we only have one life. Why would we dwell on the past? While it may be challenging at times, it’s crucial to our mental state to focus on the present and live life as it comes. Once James learned this, the constant battle for happiness was over. He had not won the war yet, but he had surrendered. While he was not looking for happiness, he eventually found joy in his life.
          But what gives a person joy? Is it his work? His family? People were always asking James “What do you think you most value and desire in life?” (“Week Five Discernment Conversation Activity” - Moreau FYE Week Five). And this was an extremely difficult question to answer. James spent years contemplating over what would give his life purpose. Was he meant to prove something? To help people? During his years in college, James sat down to think about what would truly define his life. What came out of this was James dropping out of Mendoza and pursuing a career in music. He began to live by the words “Study what you love” (“Navigating Your Career Path” by Merulo Center For Career Development - Moreau FYE Week Four). After this strong realization. James began to find his purpose. He wouldn’t spend his days fumbling with the riches of old men, he was going to make a change. And this change was going to come from the only place he knew, his heart. James changed the world with his music and began to make a difference on people in the only way he knew how. Through his lyrics, James preached positivity and love. He allowed people to see the good in those around them and to treat others the way that they would want to be treated. While James never did ever get to go skydiving, he did die as “the new king of rock.” 
          James always desired to see the good in people. This was always a crucial part of his life. In high school, I remember James telling me about a book he had read. It was about gang members and a priest who resided in gang-ridden California. One of the stories particularly touched his heart. “Do me a paro, G? He says. You tell Flaco that Gato from the gang says I hope he gets better. I will do that, I tell him, with a smile, and a real admiration for the stretch this represents” (“Tattoos on the Heart” by Gregory Boyle - Moreau FYE Week Seven). Tattoos on the Heart allowed James to see everyone as a compassionate and real human being. Once he realized that everyone deep down was just like him, James saw the world in a completely new light. The simple act of forgiveness from two rival gangs was everything to James. From that moment on, he began to be a strong advocate for the good in the world. James was forever changed after hearing the words of father Hesburgh and his bold stance for what he believed in, “Rome has spoken. It was censorship, and I told them no” (“Hesburgh” by Jerry Barca - Moreau FYE Week Two). After getting the courage to stand up for what he believed in, James was forever a different man. He began to incorporate this thinking into his music and used his talents to change the world for the better. While it’s a shame that James died tragically at the age of 52, who else can say that they lived a better life?