Microsoft Word - Integration pt 2.docx Arwen Oliva Mr. Polotto Moreau FYS 10101 22 November 2021 Finding New Horizons in My College Experience There were probably infinite situations over the summer where adult figureheads would tell us college is going to change our views on the variety of things. Constantly hearing about how “great” this so-called college experience would be just translated into straight gibberish in my mind during those hot summer months. Flash forward to these cold November days, I think to myself, “Maybe they were right”. As cheesy as those adults sounded, they were right; college truly does expand your horizons on various perspectives. Ranging from learning about foreign cultures to what foods make your stomach upset, college is just the right place to figure out who you are. At such a prestigious university, many students here at Notre Dame often find themselves dismissing their intelligence or feeling intimidated by the fact that other people “are way smarter” than they are and emphasizing that they don’t belong in such a place. This can be defined as imposter syndrome. In Julia Hogan’s, Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit, she highlights that “When you let your self-worth depend on the approval of others, disappointing them feels like the most devastating thing in the world” (“Why Letting Go of Expectations is a Freeing Habit” by Julia Hogan – Moreau FYE Week 9). When I was a child, whenever I would get straight A’s on my report card, my parents would treat me to an ice cream to reward me for my outstanding effort in school. However, because of this pattern that occurred when I was younger, I often find myself beating myself up emotionally and mentally if I am not living up to these standards academically in college; I feel as if I am letting not only my parents down, but myself down. This quote resonates with me because if we are constantly seeking outside approval, we will deep down never be truly satisfied with our work. Living in this constant state of anxiety is not safe for my mental well-being. I have come to learn to be proud of myself for all that I have accomplished and having made it to the university I am at today. If I know that my academic successes are living up to my work ethic, then there is no need for external validation. Another expansion of horizon I have encountered during this college experience is the construction of community. The word “community” was a word I heard countless times during Welcome Weekend to the point where it is practically engrained within the wrinkles of my brain. One of my immediate thoughts was how to even build a community. Where do I start? In Fr. John Jenkins’, Wesley Theological Seminary 2012 Commencement Address, he discusses, “Love is the greatest commandment — and hatred is at the heart of the greatest sins. Hatred is the great destroyer — the great divider. Hatred is more dangerous to us than any other threat, because it attacks the immune system of our society — our ability to see danger, come together and take action” (Wesley Theological Seminary 2012 Commencement Address by Fr. John Jenkins – Moreau FYE Week 10). The importance of his statement is the reference of Jesus’s New Commandment, in which he told his disciples to love their neighbors as themselves. The real truth that most of the Notre Dame welcome committee failed to mention was that we are not going to enjoy the presence of everyone we encounter; and in all honesty, that is okay. However, Fr. Jenkins wants us to know that we must never utilize hatred toward one another. Hatred is the component that directly tears down a community. Therefore, although we may not love all our peers, it is extremely vital to treat them with the patience and love God intended for us to do, as that is the basis of what a strong community lies on. As I mentioned above, coming to college I have encountered a few individuals who I simply have no connection with, including my roommate. I tend to be an extremely clean and organized person and my roommate is most definitely the polar opposite. Most of the things she does completely irks me and is just not within my comfort zone. In Parker J Palmer’s, Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community, he states “When we try to ‘make community happen’, driven by desire, design, and determination—places within us where the ego often lurks—we can make a good guess at the outcome: we will exhaust ourselves and alienate each other, snapping the connections we yearn for. Too many relationships have been diminished or destroyed by a drive toward “community-building” which evokes a grasping that is the opposite of what we need to do: relax into our created condition and receive the gift we have been given” (Thirteen Ways of Looking at Community by Parker J Palmer – Moreau FYE Week 11). When Notre Dame emphasized community-building, I did not realize that it meant letting relationships form naturally. I believe that one of my largest mistakes coming into college was trying to force unnatural relationships with others such as my roommate. As the situation between her and I unfolded, things just in a way “blew up” to the point where we do not even speak anymore. Looking at it now, I wish I would have known to let our relationship form naturally rather than trying to bring about a friendship that was never there. I have learned that the best way to let community build is simply to just relax; let things happen according to the universe and there will be peace. Has college been the perfect, renewing experience I thought it would be? Absolutely not. However, I do have to admit that I have encountered many horizons that have taught me the importance of foreign cultural perspectives, community-building, and faith not only within myself, but within God as well. I have learned how to build relationships with others in a healthy manner, treated myself with love, placed my happiness as my main priority, and most of all, made the most out of each and every day. After all, I am extremely thankful for the blessings God has granted me and give my gratitude for have such a supportive and loving community everywhere I go. Word Count: 1058