Integration Assignment


My Past Journey is Part of Who I Am Becoming
By: 

1. I believe you need to uncover your past to lead you into your future through family and

faith.

2. I believe you need to surround yourself with good people in order to reach your full

potential.

1. Throughout my whole life, I have struggled to find who I truly am. Constantly searching

for the correct answer that must be perfect, I have recently discovered that nothing will be

perfect but that we are all on a journey to find our true passions and authentic selves. A quote

that really resonated with me was from a video from Father Pete when he stated that "the

greatest journey you will ever go on is one of self-discovery. On this journey success,

productivity, and failure are an afterthought. What truly matters is authentically responding to the

best of your ability as the person you know yourself to be. The person that God has created you

to be" ("The Role of Faith in Our Story" by Fr. Pete McCormick, C.S.C. - Moreau FYE Week 3).

An important part of that quote is that I am journeying to find the person that God created me to

be. God and faith have always been at the center of my life. It is always a lifeline that I can fall

back on during hard times, which may be one of my core problems.

When things in my life are going well, I have a hard time reflecting on what I do wrong,

and as a result, my sins become more profound and more potent in my day-to-day life. I believe

moving forward, I need to dig deeper in my spiritual life and cleanse what is impure.

I need to follow David Brooks' advice from his TedTalk where he stated that "You go into

yourself, you find the sin, which you've committed over and again through your life, your

signature sin, out of which the others emerge. And you fight that sin, and you wrestle with that

sin, and out of that wrestling, that suffering then a depth of character is constructed" ("Should



You Live for your Resume or Your Eulogy?" by David Brooks, TED - Moreau FYE Week 2).

From uncovering what drives me off course the most, I can build resilience against that sin.

As sins begin to come about constantly in my life, I tend to go numb. I block out friends, family,

and school work as I become emotionless, but I've learned that "You can't numb those hard

feelings with numbing those other affects or emotions. You can't selectively numb. So when you

numb those, we numb joy; we numb gratitude; we numb happiness… and then we feel

vulnerable" ("The Power of Vulnerability" by Brene Brown - Moreau FYE Week One). In these

situations, I need to do something that makes me feel again. Either trying something new or

letting my emotions reveal themselves.

One technique that helped me get over my "numbness" and dive deeper into my roots

which has allowed me to uncover who I really am, was the "Where I'm From" poem. It can be

used as a place to let your emotions and feelings spill out in a safe place. "You can also see it

as a corridor of doors opening onto further knowledge and other kinds of writing. The key is to

let yourself explore these rooms. Don't rush to decide what kind of writing you're going to do or

to revise or finish a piece. Let your goal be the writing itself. Learn to let it lead you" ("Where I'm

From" by George Ella Lyon - Moreau FYE Week 6). Through this writing journey, I have

discovered that my family is of enormous importance to me. My family is the motivation that

drives me to become the best version of myself.

My family has had many health struggles, which creates many negative and sad stories

in my past. "But to insist on only these negative stories is to flatten my experience and to

overlook the many stories that formed me" ("Danger of a Single Story" by Chimamanda Ngozi

Adichie, Ted - Moreau FYE Week 7). However, looking back on those hard times, I need to also

remember the good times I've had with them. These positive experiences have also shaped

who I am today. Through my past involving my family and wrestling with my faith, I will continue

to grow. My past will become a part of me that shapes what I am becoming.



2. All throughout high school, I struggled to make friends. It wasn't because I was socially

awkward or seen as weird, but simply because I struggled to see who actually wanted me in

their lives. Like most kids at Notre Dame, they were probably one of the most intelligent people

in their class. For me, at least, people took advantage of this gift I had. They would see me in

class and try to make an effort "to be my friend." However, the friendships I thought I had formed

turned out to be solely for the other person's grade. As a result of so-called friends ghosting me

after the semester, I would routinely spend summers alone.

Vivid memories of this began to flood back to me as I read this quote from the Week 4

Moreau Assignment. "'Attention is one of the rarest forms of love.' This quote might strike home

if you've ever been tuned out by a friend who's constantly checking their phone. We all know

what it's like to talk with someone who's not really present in the conversation." ("5 Signs You're

in a Toxic Friendship" by Olivia T. Taylor, Grotto - Moreau FYE Week 4). I realized that I needed

to completely let go and forgive these people. I need to deeply understand that I hold value, and

that I need to see and, as Carla Harris put it, "trust the power in [me]" ("2021 Laetare Medalist

Address" by Carla Harris - Moreau FYE Week 5). I need to trust in the power and motivation

that my past brings because what has led me to today will also lead me to where God needs me

to be. Who I am now is part of who I am becoming.